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How to Drive People Crazy
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE CRAZY
- Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
- Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially
effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
- In the memo field of all your paychecks, write 'for sexual favors'.
- Put decaff in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- Send E-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing.
For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
- While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
- Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
- Insist that your E-mail address is:
Zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com
- Every time someone asks you to do something , ask if they want fries
with that.
- Suggest that the Coke machine be filled with beer.
- Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair
dancing.
- Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many".
- Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
- For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a
mask and snorkel. If no one notices, ditch the snorkel and see how many
fish you can catch in your mouth.
- Send E-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in
the break room. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean
back, rub your stomach, and say "You've got to be faster than that."
- When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your windshield
wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'em tuned up.
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