Spiritual and Pagan Message Board

[Ceibhfhionn]

A little over a year ago I attempted suicide. I'd thought about it for along time before then and a long time since.
It came at a very chaotic time of my life when I felt despair from a relationship, family life, my future, etc
Since then life has stabalized a little. I've never been to counseling. I feel less chaotic but it still creeps up on me- what I call My Bad Days- which is generally when I feel this ball of emotional pain and tightness in my chest and stomach. I cry for no reason. I feel like I can't get out of bed.
Recently I've begun to hve anger problems- rages as a result of frustration.
But when I remember my suicide attempt I can't feel any emotion conncected to it. In fact, the very traumatic memories of my childhood no longer bring up any emotion at all (except on my Bad Days). So i feel like it would be pointless to talk about them to a psychiatrist.
I don't feel anything from these memories anymore, so am I cured? Or just too used to it?
_________________
By the power of earth, wind and sky
Fire and moonlight, I draw thee nigh
Child of the Lady of the Lustrous Orb
Under the gaze of the Queen of Heavens
Let all who walk here come in love and light

Blessed Be