Paranoid during sex - Birth Control Issues

threshhold21 · Post by **threshhold21** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 10:11 pm

Does anyone here know of a really good spell or ritual to help me relax more during sex? I am always so worried about getting pregnant. i do not and can not have kids right now, dont want them either. I know 3 people have have gotten pregnant using protection and being on the pill at the same time!!! So please anything would be great. Blessed be

Post by **moonlit** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 8:37 am

Yea I have some amazing advice.....

If you dont wanna get pregnant...... dont have sex.

TUDU!!!!! I'm brilliant arent I?? I'll be here all week! I do accept donations!!!!!!!!!! lol

Thu Aug 25, 2005 9:04 am

Well, I think that you first of all must choose your partner carefully--one who is sympathetic to your fears and seeks the same outcome. Also, get in tune with your inner rhythms. Ovulation only lasts 3 or 4 days, so during these days, abstain or just do oral. The rest of the time, be cautious, but don't overblow your fear of pregnancy--if anything will make it happen, it is your focus on it--via fear--that will!!! Try to detach from your fear for a moment and rationally ask yourself, "what is the worst thing that can happen to me if I get pregnant?" Perhaps you will realize that the fears are not as strong as your ego is making them out to be.

Blessings,

bsp

Post by **Starwitch** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 5:48 pm

If you are taking the birth control pill the way you are supposed to (same time every day) and using condoms, you really shouldn't get pregnant. If your friends told you that they got pregnant and they were using BOTH methods, I think they may not be sharing the entire truth. That's nearly impossible. They might not have been taking their pill on time or not taking it every day and then the condom broke. That's about the only thing I can think of. Oh yeah, I also heard that if you are overweight, birth control pills lose their effectiveness somewhat. If you are taking the new low dosage type of pills, you really have to take those at exactly the same time every day in order for them to be truly effective. If you have regular birth control pills, you can have a bit more lee-way with the time. I take mine anytime between 11:00pm-2:00am and I haven't gotten pregnant yet.

I've never gotten pregnant while using birth control. I only got pregnant once and that was because I wasn't using birth control at all and my boyfriend wasn't even pulling out. That is just plain stupid. Don't do that and you'll be good to go. It's good to hear that you are using condoms even though you're on the pill. So many people have STDs these days. You really can't trust anyone unless they've been tested, and even then you can't be sure they aren't cheating. I think they said 1 out of 4 young women have chlamydia. The guys do too, I'm sure. I'd be more worried about STDs than pregnancy.

Post by **sheherazade** » Fri Sep 02, 2005 4:03 am

also ask your pharmacist when taking any kind of meds.
anti biotics or anti infectives can wipe out the effects of the pill.so can saint john's wort...........so do your research b/f taking any supplement or med.
i prefer barrier methods..even tho my gyn made me feel like a dinosaur when i asked to renew my diaphram it has never ever failed me & i'm a fertile myrtle.

sleepingsecret · Post by **sleepingsecret** » Sat Sep 10, 2005 10:31 am

Alright --; You fear of getting pregnant while having sex. First off, if you have such a fear, don't have sex, I mean, all is well, you don't NEED to have sex(despite what some of us say xD). But if you truely have to have sex, condoms are always good, birth control, oh oh and how about the all famous DON'T DO IT (Oh wait, I said that already). Sorry if I am being mean, but as it says on 's site, there is no spell to keep you from getting pregnant.
You have to calm down, your friends were surely lieing, their condom must of broke and she might of missed one of her days for birth control, because you cannot take it and then go have sex, it doesn't work that way. I don't even know why I am talking about this and how I know so much --; I haven't even had sex yet, anyways. Heed everyone's advice, darling.

[Chaz] · Post by **[Chaz]** » Sat Sep 10, 2005 11:05 pm

Ummm... okay, here goes... I'm ready to be flamed. I did get pregnant using the pill, twice! I did not miss any days and took my pill at the same time every day. The first time I was taking antibiotics and was told this was the reason (and no, I had not been informed this could happen and I was 17 and clueless.) The second time had the doctors scratching their heads until they decided that the reason was the dosage wasn't strong enough for me. It does and can happen... so happens it runs in my family. They say 99.9 percent for a reason. I'm not saying it will happen to you! I am saying the only way to be totally sure you will not get pregnant is to not put yourself in the situation that causes pregnancy and if you do, double up on the contraceptive... condoms and birth control pills.

Post by **Starwitch** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 10:29 pm

That sucks Chaz. It is true that certain medications, especially antibiotics can make your birth control pills ineffective. It says that right on the package and on the prescription papers, but most people don't read the small print. Your doctor should have told you that. I still find it hard to believe that a person can get pregnant while using condoms AND birth control though. That is really a stretch. They would have to be really dumb and use both of them incorrectly for that to happen. Remember also what I said about being overweight - that can make your BC pills ineffective also.

[Chaz] · Post by **[Chaz]** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 11:49 pm

Well... In all honesty it has been a long time... I think I read the brochure, but again... I was 17... chances are good I didn't. lol. I KNOW my doctor didn't tell me about antibiotics, she prescribed them for a sinus infection and never said ANTYHING about the pill. I wasn't using birth control pills AND condoms... I was married and thought that meant I didn't have to use condoms. (Remember, I was 17.) I was saying that is a good way NOT to get pregnant... two forms of BC instead of just one. I was not overweight... I weighed 97lbs when I got pregnant with my daughter and 102lbs when I got pregnant with my son... I'm 5'6". And I wasn't using incorrectly when I became pregnant with my son. Had taken pills every day, same time, never missed a day... and was not on any other medication. I didn't even know I was pregnant... I was in a car accident and they did a pregnancy test before doing the x-rays... I was unconscious at the time... When I came to and they told me I was pregnant I argued with them. Actually the conversation went like this Dr: "the baby should be fine" Me: "She wasn't in the car". Dr: "no, the baby you are carrying" Me: "what in the hell are you talking about?" Dr: "Umm... okay.... You are pregnant" Me: "No I'm not". so forth and so on. So... Ben is my little car accident baby. He's almost 13 now... not such a baby! lol

Maybe I'm strange... I have never trusted the pill after that... ended up going for sterilization shortly after Ben was born... (had to fight like hell with my dr. for that one... under 25 with less than three live births... oiy) My aunt, cousin, and mom all became pregnant on the pill... it just doesn't work for us. (This is all on my mom's side.) I'm thinking we may be a bit more fertile than anyone has the right to be.

Again, the whole point is that it can happen... double up! And by the way... those "Today Sponges" are back on the market... I have heard good things about them from friends.

Post by **moonlit** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 7:37 am

My aunt got pregnant with my cousin using the pill and a condom. So it can happen.

Post by **Starwitch** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 11:47 am

Funny story about the doctors telling you that you were pregnant Chaz. I'm sure that was quite the surprise. I'm glad you were able to get a tubal. It's stupid that doctors do not want to allow women to get sterilized unless you meet certain criteria. There is a formula based on your age and the number of kids you've already had that they use to determine whether they will sterilize you or not. I think they should just do what the patient wants in most cases. Many people, like me, don't want kids at all and I have to use birth control, which is bad for your health in many ways, for many many years. It's apparently easier to get sterilized in some places in England, I've heard, so maybe I'll end up going there in the future. I haven't tried here in the US. I would rather have my husband sterilized because it's cheaper, easier, and the recovery is much easier too.

Post by **sheherazade** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 12:25 pm

true ...it's much less complicated for the male to go for the sterilization...it's not major surgery like it is w/ tubals.
ok...NOW let me get on my high horse about how STUPID dr.s can be.
i started using a diaphram when i was 16...i had a few bouts w/ the pill that i didn't really like...besides i smoked at the time.also after i was undergoing months of gum surgery it was my PHARMACIST who warned me that the meds my dr. gave me wipe out the pill.
ok...back on my soapbox....there are SUPPOSEDLY MULTITUDES of choices for women nowadays.
all women?
no.
certainly not woman over 40.
after my 3rd baby i used condoms for a while cause i wasn't too wild about putting too much up there after 4 years in a row of pushing a human being outa there.
sorry to be blunt.
well...then i went to my dr. to get fitted for a new diaphram.
oh gee...he says...i don't even know anyone who even USES them anymore....well...i ask what do women OVER 40 use?
the patch
the shot
that thing they(yuck) put under your arm
ok............now AREN"T THOSE JUST MORE CONVENIENT FORMS OF THE PILL..which by the way is not prescribed FOR WOMEN OVER35 years old?????????????

so itell my doc i'm most likely too old to get pg anyway & HE says that why so many women your age DO get pg..they think they can't.
so,i ask..what is my option...he says IUD...so i inquire & find out that the DEVICE alone is over 300$ & the operation isn't covered by insurance.
i think my husband would rather opt for no penetration,ya think?
so i told the doc to go into his dusty old archives & find me a freakin 20$ diaphram.

Post by **[scifichick]** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 12:35 pm

I had IUD, but it was covered by insurance, so I didn't have to pay anything for it. I'm surprised it's not covered for you. Seems that if other BC methods are covered, it should be covered as well. It's not really an operation, it was easy and almost painless to get it in. Well, doctor got it in, obviously, not me

I don't want to use any variety of hormonal control either. Just don't want to. I gained about 10lbs on a pill, but I just feel better without putting more chemical/hormonal crap in my body. Luckily, my boyfriend had the surgery done. However, I would not mind having a kid with him, but now I can't

Post by **Starwitch** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 4:42 pm

Sex is such a pain in the ass. Sher, why doesn't your husband get sterilized and save you all this damn trouble? Seems like you've already gone through enough for sex's sake in your life - birth control pills, having kids! Can't a man pitch in for once in his life and do something a bit uncomfortable? After all, it's usually the MAN who wants all this damn sex in the first place!

ScifiChick, I have considered IUDs, but I hear it can be painful and cause bad cramping for women who have never had children. Do you have kids already?

Post by **lek** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 5:00 pm

Gotta go with moonlit, it's the only sure fire way. And someone mentioned guys pulling out....let me tell you something, as a guy....ain't going to happen! Even if they say they will, they won't! The brain shuts down at that point, the lower region takes over entirely and a couple million years of evolution and instincts can not be overridden, sorry.