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Re: Smogie's Ramblings
Posted: Mon May 09, 2016 1:12 pm
by smogie_michele
I feel as though being able to write here has helped me to figure out what my actual needs are- it has helped me to live a little bit on the healthier side though out all of this
I also feel more connected to my view of the divine more than ever.
Re: Smogie's Ramblings
Posted: Mon May 09, 2016 7:56 pm
by SnowCat
I have to say that your venting has always been intelligent and intelligible. You haven't just whined, you've used your venting productively.
Snow
Re: Smogie's Ramblings
Posted: Thu May 12, 2016 8:04 pm
by evil ed
SnowCat wrote:I have to say that your venting has always been intelligent and intelligible. You haven't just whined, you've used your venting productively.
Snow
What she said! You have put up with more than I ever could have, and yet did more good than I would have been able!
Kid, my hat is off to you, and I am very proud to have met you.
E.E.
Re: Smogie's Ramblings
Posted: Fri May 13, 2016 11:46 am
by smogie_michele
Thank you both!
Ed, I hope you are feeling well! I've been thinking about you!
Re: Smogie's Ramblings
Posted: Fri May 20, 2016 1:13 pm
by smogie_michele
My fiancé is either broken, or completely in love with the clean carpets...
Re: Smogie's Ramblings
Posted: Fri May 20, 2016 9:39 pm
by SnowCat
I hope he isn't drooling on it!
Snow
Re: Smogie's Ramblings
Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2016 1:11 pm
by smogie_michele
I took quite a break from the internet for a while and it is nice to be back and lurking on this forum.
Cody and I have been through quite a bit recently; between moving, starting new jobs, medical issues, and other random bits of life here and there, we are over all pretty busy. While we are coping as best we can (and I am certainly much happier to be out on our own again), it has dawned on me that a big underlying source of my unhappiness is due to unresolved issues with my past.
Yes, living with Cody's parents was incredibly difficult and an immediate factor of my depression. We only had a small room to share and even that wasn't really ours... And I am much better off right now, writing to you from my living room couch with a cup of coffee sitting next to me.... But there is still something off about me. I am still taking my medications and still talking to a therapist twice a month, and it helps. However, I think I finally realized that in order for me to feel my best, I need to come to terms with the mistakes that I made when I was younger and the abuse that we had endured from my father. Until I can figure out a way to deal with these things and except them, I'm not sure that I can truly be happy with myself.
I guess that is what they call shadow work... Where I take time to face my inner demons and resolve them. It is all a part of my spiritual practice, this finding peace within myself.
Re: Smogie's Ramblings
Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2016 12:18 pm
by SnowCat
I've been finding myself in a similar situation. Going to Oklahoma in March stirred up a lot of emotional dust where my ex is concerned. But I'm putting one paw in front of the other, and chanting "just keep swimming, just keep swimming." How's that for mangling metaphors?
Snow
Re: Smogie's Ramblings
Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2016 4:02 pm
by Firebird
You are on a good path, and your a good woman I can tell.
I would imagine you have delt with some anger in this area? For me it has helped to not let the anger consume the brain. A shadow journey in itself.
So glad you and Cody have your own place! Let the bliss proceed!
Bb, Firebird