Im so glad Ive found this site...
Finally my situation makes sense. But i hate being like this. im so afraid and i think im turning into a nervous fragile wreck because of it.
its not that i dont want to help others, i just feel completely drained and wiped out in everyway and i cant cope anymore.
i find it torture... even as i write this i cry.. i really need some guidance in how to work with this gift.. im so glad ive found this site i dont know whether to laugh or cry..
just some kind of shieling advice or something would be great i look forward to learning and working with this which i have had my whole life (im 19) ill start by looking through the other posts..
love and light xx
people have given me advice about shielding, but it just never seems to help. for example, they say to envision a wall in between you and the other person, or surround yourself with white light. i try it, and, nope-- nothing. maybe i'm just not doing it right. but it wouldn't hurt for you to try it.
it gets really frustrating though. i was with someone a couple days ago walking my dogs, and this person sent me into a tizzy. he wasn't talking, but i could feel the anger he was trying to suppress and i just kept becoming more and more angry. i got angry to the point that i actually (i'm ashamed to admit) took it out on my poor dog and yelled some really nasty stuff at her. i felt so bad, but being around him was like fanning the flames of a situation i was already sad about. i noticed once i felt him calm down, i calmed down almost immediately. it's just so frustrating. it's like we're mirrors to everyone. it's like emotions is the flu and we have a weak immune system or something.
then yesterday i talked to someone on the phone about the same topic that already gets me riled up. if i don't talk to anyone about it, i'm fine. but as soon as i talk to her about it, i start to feel her anxiety and dread and i just start balling my eyes out and screaming hysterically. (she's known for being very anxious and paranoid.)
i just can't take it either, so, if anyone has any other tips that you think might be useful, please, do share. b/c i'm at a loss. when i'm alone, i'm fine. but when someone else's energy starts looming around me, i can't distinguish mine from theirs and it can compound an already difficult situation.
Though my situation was never as acute as yours sounds, I can relate because I have always had a tendency to feel others' desires as my own and have felt the intensely draining effects. There is a concept in Kabbalah that giving and receiving are meant to be a cycle; total self-sacrifice is as unbalanced as total selfishness. This guy explains it better than I do: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=pHn2zFU6- ... re=related
The reason I tell you this is that in my experience, you can never give yourself reprieve from the emotions of others until you give yourself permission to. Feeling justified in self preservation takes you leaps and bounds toward being able to do it. Hope that helps.
I'm glad I found this site as well. I think I might also be an empath. I really want to learn all I can about it and how to control it. I'm just not really sure where to start.
I have done a lot of academic research on empathy and in fact am writing my PhD dissertation on it. However, the academic analysis of empathy is not quite as mystical as many of us feel in our everyday experiences. Nevertheless, I have come up with a useful distinction of terms:
the "empathic": when the self is open and actively seeking the spontaneous connection with an other or others. It is a focused and desired direction, like Sagittarius has posted above. It is not only about feeling the emotions of other people, but it is more about arriving at mutual understanding and deep connection. It opens both the projective and receptive faculties and can be improved upon with time and practice. It is the "path" to the other.
the "empathetic": when one has an emotion forced onto them without their active engagement or desire. This is a kind of violation of the self that often causes immediate resistance. The resistance, in turn, can make one lose their sense of self, in the bad sense and the feeling of "oneness" that occurs with the empathic is reinterpreted as an even deeper isolation. It is the "pathos" of Fall from/as a result of the other. This sounds like the descriptions in the other posts here.
Now, at the energetic level, there is no question that energy in one's proximity will have an effect. But, if we follow particle physics, which many forms of energetic stimuli do, then we can infer that, in cases where one feels violated by an external energy source, then one's own energetic output is not in resonance with the external power. The trick is to find ways to increase your own energetic vibration so that external energies have no choice but to move into resonance with you. When a particle is vibrating at a slow rate and another particle comes into its vicinity with more dominant vibration (can be slower or faster, it's a matter of amplitude) then the weaker vibration will always lift itself up and vibrate at the same frequency as the dominant vibration. Thus, particle resonance is achieved.
Those with the receptive empathic/empathetic gifts are advised to learn more about increasing their own energetic vibration. This can be done in a myriad of ways, like using stones and crystals to enhance your vibrations, or getting the body into balance via good nutrition and exercise and rest, or learning visualization and meditation techniques that are geared to increasing life force "chi" in the body. All these things would help but there are tons more techniques that can be experimented with. At bottom, increasing your vibration will shield you from psychic attacks and the like as well as ensure that the energies around you move into YOUR resonance and not some other undesirable resonance. The key to raising your vibration is ultimately a personal and creative act. You can't learn this stuff from a book...you have to experiment with as much vibration enhancing activities as possible and then take stock of your following experiences. You can't be protected all the time, but increasing your vitality/vibration is a good measure for lessening negative effects and even better, creating beneficial effects for those around you (provided your vibration is of the good kind!).
Oops, I got a little long winded...sorry. for those who cared to read this far, I hope that this helps in some way...
WOW, b-s-p. i NEVER thought of it that way before! i've always been told to basically "hide" (aka shield) myself from others by envisioning a white light or wall, and wondered why it just never worked. your more scientific explanation of vibrational energies makes a LOT of sense!!! it's kinda like survival of the fittest. since empaths are so sensitive, i suppose we are the "weaker" breed of people... or at least that is how i feel the majority of the time, since EVERYTHING tends to bother me.
so, yeah... learning how to become the STRONGER vibration and raise our own energy, thereby forcing others to come to OUR level, makes SO MUCH SENSE! it's easier said than done. i mean, it has a lot more to do than with just telling ourselves, "okay, i'm just gonna be happy even though this person is anxious/angry"... because for an empath, there is no feigning of emotion. but i understand what you mean... yeah... we must find ways to just become more... i guess... zen-like? is that what you are trying to imply? i guess that's why i'm attracted to buddhism. i try to learn that life is suffering, but we don't necessarily have to suffer... but just haven't quite mastered that application yet... haha.
so, does anyone have any tips or tricks to permanently raising our energy vibrations? for example, you said diet & exercise. what foods are good, which ones to stay away from? or, is it, like you said, all about testing it out ourselves? i dunno... i understand what you're getting at, but i'm still having trouble envisioning what key steps i can take in order not to become a "sponge" anymore and get sucked into other peoples' emotions. if i could become strong enough in my energy vibration, it would be such a help. no one would really bother me anymore, and i'd be able to function SO much better and just be ME. i feel like a totally different person around everyone due to the energy i feel coming off of them. for example, with some people i'm quiet, some people i'm angry, some people i'm anxious-- and i'm always just a mirror to them. but, when alone, i'm just ME, which is very calm, patient, laid back, etc. it's like i feel like no one ever gives me a chance or believes me when i say, "i'm actually very laid back!" b/c i'm getting so hot under the collar about something, b/c the fool next to me is acting nuts. lol.
It is true that some people are simply more susceptible or "spongy" but like I said I think you can do things that over time will raise your vibe. As for diet, simply put, balance! I have a Moon in Pisces in the 4th House which is so watery that my emotions can often be so foreign that I have no idea who I am. I find that good health is the first remedy. It is true that fatty foods with made with hydrogenated vegetable oils will really slow your "chi" down, so try to avoid those types every day--but once in a while it is a nice treat. Also, overeating will slow you down...try to follow toddlers: they just "know" when they have had enough and rarely overeat, like adults do. Plus, attuning to your body via diet will also be a great grounding technique when confronted with strangers and their various energetic modes. Good solid exercise is also a great way to attune to the body as well as increase life force. Try an hour of exercise twice a week leading up to every other day. Be creative, some workouts can be vigorous with weights, cardio etc. and others can be just a nice easy pace or ideally a yoga class at least once a week. Kundalini yoga is the most meditative but Ashtanga yoga will really stretch the body and make you feel great. Again, experiment with the exercise. Do you work with Chakras, Hanged Man? The solar plexus chakra or 3rd chakra is key for empathetic creatures. Work with this chakra by placing yellow or clear stones on it...focusing and visualizing clean strong energy going into it etc.. Yellow Tiger Eye, Citrine, Amblygonite, Brazilianite, Golden Rutile/Quartz, yellow calcite, even Malachite are very stones to wear or carry to help the 3rd chakra stay spinning at an optimal level. Also, the 2nd chakra, or scaral chakra is one of the main seats of protection so you can work with this one too, using orange stones and the like... You can practice Buddhist styles of meditation and other techniques without necessarily following its philosophical precepts. In the West we privilege desire and therefore truly following a Buddhist path is really difficult given this culture. But, you're right, the Buddhists (for the most part) are definitely on to something as desires do cause suffering most of the time, therefore it is always wise to understand and work with your yearnings in order to develop them for the best case scenarios. Again, I hope this offers you some practical assistance but as stated, it is a perpetually creative act and a constant input, so I really do not think you should worry about a permanent energetic shift--energy doesn't work that way--it flows in and out, waxes and wanes and is incessantly dynamic. Try to think more along the lines of "TODAY" i.e. "just for today, I am going to walk with strength as my energy field expands 10 feet away from me on every side" etc...
Thanks for your posts being-singular-plural. They are very helpful. It's really nice to get to interact with others who understands this. I am so glad that I found this message board:)
thank you so much bsp and eveyone else who has posted.
all really helpful information for me. im working on getting a little more grounded with my empathy & clairvoance.
Wow.. ever since the earliest of all thoughts I have had these same exact feelings. The overly intense and almost painful feelings or whatever it is. Come to find out it has a name and people all over the place has it!
I am more inclined towards electronics. I learned years ago how to tune out people. And not to be mean or anything more along the lines that it was hurting.
Im actually really surprised. A good friend has it too only he is strictly feeling the electronics and such.
Suddenly I feel a lot better about things...
I understand a lot of you.
I feel that way at times, too.
Over this last summer, I kept having horrible problems with my empathy.
And I nearly had a breakdown.
Normally I can decipher between another's emotions and my own.
But I was getting them from everyone, everywhere.
My mind got completely jumbled and I cried, not knowing why.
And I cried for a while, and I felt like I wasn't me anymore. almost like I was fighting to gain control of my own body and mind.
It left, and I haven't had any real problems since.
But I consulted a medicine witch I know, and she told me that I needed to practice cleansing and that my experience is a foreshadowing of my increase in power.
Maybe that's what's happening to all of us, who have situations like that.
We're getting stronger and so we have to develop more advanced ways to deal with it.
I want to learn to channel them to people(in a positive way), since all I know right now is to channel them into myself.
