A Ritual for Releasing Anger
Most forms of abuse result in powerful feelings of anger
or rage, which must be expressed in a safe, positive fashion if it is
not to either destroy you or others. I'd like to present an alternate
method of dealing with the anger through a ritual--allowing you to purge
the energy safely and then let it go.
For this ritual, you will need some quiet time, a red candle, a black or
a white candle, paper and writing implements, a container in which to
burn paper, and matches. Any other symbols, magickal gear, or
accoutrements you wish to bring to the ritual are yours to choose; I'm
just presenting the bare bones.
Once you have gathered your stuff and set up your quiet space, you will
want to call in a circle to protect yourself, and to protect others from
the energies you plan to release.
Face the east, and call upon the air to help you express your rage
clearly, to help you focus mentally while you release your emotions
safely within the circle.
Face the south, and call upon fire to help your rage burn up and out of
you, burning away the past and the trauma that has enraged you.
Face the west, and call upon the water to help your emotions flow freely
within the circle, cleansing your spirit and restoring yourself.
Face the north, and call upon the earth to allow you to safely ground
your rage, and to sustain and support your through the releasing
process. As you call in the directions, visualize a circle of white
light forming around your working space, shielding you and protecting
you with the elements you've called in.
(I have sometimes found that it also helps to call upon the archangels
to further strengthen the circle--Raphael for east, Michael for south,
Gabriel for west, and Uriel for north--if your beliefs trend that way.)
Then when you feel the circle is secure, call upon the Higher Powers in
whatever form you relate to them to work with you and shield you through
the course of the ritual.
Now, light the red candle. By its light, begin to write or draw what it
is that is enraging you, whether it be some form of emotional abuse that
trashed your worth as a person, sexual abuse that made you into an
object, physical abuse that broke your body's connection with your mind,
or whatever. Focus on making the issues clear to yourself and the Higher
Powers that you've called in. Focus on how the actions made *you* feel,
not on the other person's guilt or motivations, or on revenge on the
other person. (You can do this part ahead of time, if you want. I wrote
a long letter to my mother explaining exactly what I remembered and felt
out of our abusive relationship, being careful to keep it in
"I-statements" and not start blaming her. Blame may be necessary for
some folks, but until you release the rage within, I feel that you
cannot assess blame rationally and safely.)
Next, hold the paper between your hands, focus your awareness on the red
candle, and begin to chant, shout, scream, or make whatever sounds help
you to feel the rage come up and leave you. Send the rage into the red
candle. Focus your rage on the red candle, watching the flames burn
brighter and hotter as the force of your anger fuels them. When you feel
that you've released the red rage as much as you can, light the papers
on which you've drawn or written your problem and drop them into the
container so they can burn out. (Do remember to put something under the
container to protect the surface it rests on--we did this ritual as a
group a couple of years ago and caught the carpet on fire.)
After the papers have begun to burn down, light the black or white
candle. (The choice of color depends on how you wish to focus on
restoring yourself--black represents the energy of transformation and
white represents an energy of peace and purification.) Focus on what
you'd like to replace the rage with--peace, self-esteem, happiness, or
whatever. Let the energy of the new emotions fill you up. Write or draw
on a new piece of paper those things that you want to find in yourself
and your life now that you've released the poisonous rage that was
holding you back. You could even take the ashes from the burnt paper and
write the name of the emotion on a new piece of paper to help you focus.
Feel the healing begin.
When you are comfortably calm again, release the energy of the circle.
Visualize it sinking back into the earth as you thank the elements at
each direction for watching over you. Thank the Higher Powers for their
insight and help. Let the candles burn completely out.
May you find this ritual to be as healing for you as I found it to be,
if anything bad happened to you in childhood or since like rape or abuse
etc it is NOT your fault so do not let your abuser win. Let go of it and
move on -get counseling if it will help. This ritual can also help those
locked in feelings. You might want to add some of your own words..