How and when to curse someone

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JuniperBerry
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by JuniperBerry »

Now if you want to continue this discussion I will be happy to do so. But, there will be no more calling people and the things they say “ridiculous” or any other personal judgements about people.


I think you are mistaking the posting of my opinion on an open discussion board as a personal attack on members. I did not respond to or quote anyone specifically in my post, or single out any members for the opinions they have held. I am replying to you critiquing my opinion, not the other way around.
Serendipity wrote:I did a post in the Tips & Advice forum about ethics as part of my Spell Crafting series that I think pretty clearly spells out my position on this topic. Believe me I live in the real world too. To be a little honest I find your position of never doing a curse a little surprising. I’ve done exactly two in thirty-six years and in both cases the person I worked against had made threats against my person and one even went so far as to slash all the tires on my car (I had fired her for stealing from the company we both worked for). I of course took mundane measures to solve the problem, things like calling the police and filing a report and making sure my doors were locked at night, but given that I’m an accomplished magical practitioner I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t back up my mundane work with magical workings.
I have yet to find an instance in which cursing someone is the last resort. I'd like to quote an article that says it much better than I:

There are other times when it is tempting to throw a curse. Perhaps your boss is treating you badly, or a lover is cheating on you. Someone could be slandering your name, stealing from you, or otherwise causing you harm. It is easy to allow emotions to cloud judgement, even in the best of circumstances. When anger is involved, it almost certainly does.

But hexing is not something to be used for every problem or annoyance that may come our wayPerhaps there are othe. Even in severe circumstances, we must ask ourselves what good we are trying to manifest through our actions, and just how we think a hex is going to achieve that. Are there better, more effective ways of dealing with the problem, magickally or not. Often, as in the case of revenge, we find that a hexing usually does little or nothing to solve any real problems. The thief may fall ill, but does that get your radio back? A curse might even feel satisfying in the short-term, but often we are left with a larger mess than what we started with. This is one of the main reasons why true curses are rare things indeed.

One of the things that I have learned, in my time studying the Craft, is that the ego is a tricky thing. It can lull you into thinking that you are doing something good, or righteous, while in reality you are just spreading more shit around. Take, for example, the religious right. In whatever they are doing, be it lobbying to remove human rights protections, picketing the funerals of gays & lesbians, or turning a blind eye to the violence caused by their views, they believe that they are the agents of righteousness. It is the absolute conviction that they are doing 'God's work' that causes them to be unaware that they are the cause of so much pain and suffering.

This is why righteousness is a dangerous state for the seeker of knowledge to be in. It can justify anything if the ego is aligned towards it. It can trap the seeker in a delirium of self-appreciating rationalization, preventing growth or true thought, leaving them blind to their actions and their results. When we are filled with righteous anger it is often too easy to allow it to flow into purely destructive forms such as tyranny and domination. With the conviction of righteousness coursing through our veins, we are too often inclined to use excessive force, especially if our reasons are justified. We must make certain that we are working responsibly or else we are not worthy of the powers and pleasures our Craft affords us. A spiritual system that intends to foster personal awareness and responsibility must certainly address this issue.

To me, someone slashing my tires is not a justification to curse them, especially when my needs had been met through mundane actions. We obviously differ.



As to how I would curse a drunk driver (which by the way was only one example of a great many I could have used)

Yes, I understand this. As you didn't provide any other examples, I couldn't respond to them.
it would involve him/her running into (figuratively speaking of course lol) cops constantly so that it would be difficult if not impossible for him to evade detection. Or do you think working to bring law breakers to the attention of law enforcement is “bad” too? And yes I would consider that a curse.
I see this as a viable way of detering further trouble, and actually have no problem with it. Though it isn't exactly my definition of cursing.
Make all the *sighs* you want.
And please keep replying to the posts I write with an attitude, and demanding that I answer to you for my opinion.

Why the “wild hope” that magical people won’t use magic to make their lives better?


Because, in my opinion, magic is meant to be respected. Used when other means are not available. It is a powerful thing, not a toy, or a tool. A witch is playing with the energies and the universal law. It's not a game or a parlor trick or your own personal pet. When is it acceptable, imo? When making sure Hitler fails at invading England, stopping the blood diamond trade. Not getting back at the girl who slashed your tires. Yes, to me, it's petty.

What I said was neither ridiculous or extreme.


You implied that I live in a world with no crime. If not ridiculous, it was at least snide.


You said, and I quote, “And if they are sending something out to you, then obviously you did something that offended them in the first place, and then you're sending it back because now they've offended you... and it becomes childish.” Where do you get off assuming that the only reason someone would direct negativity towards another person is because the second person “started it?” That is an insulting and a judgement on people and situations you don’t even know and I find that “ridiculously” sweeping.
In very, very few cases a person will curse someone just to do it. But as stated in the article above, the ego always thinks it has a good reason to curse someone, whether the person being cursed thinks they were in the wrong or not. When you curse the person back because you believe that you, too, are justified then you are no better, imo.
And that stuff you wrote about “real world” pffttt… I assure you I live in the real world as much as you do. I simply don’t see magic as a “placebo” as you labelled it, but as one of many options available to me.
But you aren't as discerning, and that is the difference.
The main differences between you and I, I think, is that I don’t automatically assume that just because someone sees something differently than I do that they are wrong and I don’t automatically assume they are being petty or childish. Until and unless someone shows me that they are petty and childish I prefer to believe that they are acting in accordance with a well thought out sense of ethics that while they may not be exactly the same as mine might very well be responsible and thoughtfully applied.
The difference between you and I was that I posted an opinion that was in no way directed at anyone on the forum, and you have taken personal offense to it. I mentioned situations and observations based on my experience and you have become defensive and argumentative. You may like to think you give people the benefit of the doubt, but you surely haven't done so in my case.
And FYI I do agree with you that we are different and I too am happy about that.
I said that our methods differ and could accept that. Please quit making this personal.

ETA: There is a real, and deep, tradition and practice here. We can demean it, and use it in our self-entitled ways, and we can twist it up until it means nothing more than a Barnes and Noble love kit. But I won't. The people I know won't. The sites I link won't. When I come here I offer what I was offered. A real, honorable, intelligent and respectful look at paganism/witchcraft/wicca. I won't teach them how to do a google seach like they're stupid. I'll challenge them, I'll ask to be challenged, and we'll all grow and learn. If that is an issue for you, than I'm sorry. But paganism, magic, history, and my ancestors mean something to me and I'll be damned if you try to twist who I am and what I believe into some crap that it's not.
The Gods we worship write their names on our faces; be sure of that. A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson



As believers in the folk-religion we are studying, we seek after mysteries that expand the scope of our gods and our understanding of them, not reductionist theories that reduce them to manageable and socially productive "functions".

-Our Troth
Traumwandlerin
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by Traumwandlerin »

No, I'm not fine with mixing both topics. I'm also not fine with personal discussions like the above one. And I'm not fine with using another definition of "curse" I use in my posts. So please discuss my topic or open yourself a new one. For general cursing-discussions the other thread would probably be better.
JuniperBerry
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by JuniperBerry »

Traumwandlerin wrote:No, I'm not fine with mixing both topics. I'm also not fine with personal discussions like the above one. And I'm not fine with using another definition of "curse" I use in my posts. So please discuss my topic or open yourself a new one. For general cursing-discussions the other thread would probably be better.

What did you want us to discuss in your topic, Traumwanderlin?

The when has been addressed here, and the how. I also feel that you're definition of curse is in line with how I see it- a basic screw you to someone without the purpose of protecting and defending one's self.
The Gods we worship write their names on our faces; be sure of that. A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson



As believers in the folk-religion we are studying, we seek after mysteries that expand the scope of our gods and our understanding of them, not reductionist theories that reduce them to manageable and socially productive "functions".

-Our Troth
Traumwandlerin
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by Traumwandlerin »

Then probably one of has has misread the other, that's probably me, not being a native speaker ;) But still it's seems to me, you didn't understand me right. I was talking about the category of curses, where you send back the energy you accidentally catched. Sadly I am not able at the moment, to protect myself and catch the full energy. I just send it back, it should have stayed there in the first place. I'm not a garbage can, you know.

And I wanted to discuss this special category of curse. Where it's about sending back the energy you've got and no single quantum more. And since there is damping everywhere the other wouldn't get back the full energy anyways.

Also I think doing this curse a few times, it made me more aware of the energy I radiate, so I try more not to store negative energy of myself in others. Most other people are not as easily catching energies as myself (a thing I had to learn the hard way), but still it's an important effort. It shows me, how it's better to deal with your own feelings. But this leads me to even send the energy back even more. SInce they should deal with their problems on their own. I was talking about "Someone had a really bad day and radiates it on others, so to make their days even worse". Like the receptionist. For whatever reason, she had a bad day. But instead of dealing with it, she radiates it out (not only to me, but also to others). She surely has her own reason to fell this way, but she has no reason to send it out randomly to other persons she see. This won't help her. She sends this to me, I send it back. Not as a tittat or revange thing. It's more like when a letter was accidentally send to me, I bring it to the neighbour where it belongs. It's not up to me to deal with the letter.

Also in my ethic I find it more doubtfully to send someone healing energy than give them back what they accidentally gave to me. Because I think everyone has to deal on their own with their feelings and problems in order to learn I find it highly doubtful to hurt their private space in just decide they need some healing. So if someone send out negative energy I make sure they'll get it back. I would not start to try to make their day better, cause that is their excerise. I would if they would ask or something. but I would never unasked. If anyone would try this on me, I would be really angry. I hate it when someone disturbs my personal space. Sending me my own energ back, well that would be ok for me, how else should I learn? If not getting mirrored my own behaviour and energies. This is confronting. You have to face yourself.
JuniperBerry
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by JuniperBerry »

Traumwandlerin wrote:Then probably one of has has misread the other, that's probably me, not being a native speaker ;)
Not necessarily. The internet isn't a perfect medium for conversation and it's easy to misread the tone and context. Plus, discussions can tend to move off into a tangent to where the original meaning becomes obscured.
But still it's seems to me, you didn't understand me right. I was talking about the category of curses, where you send back the energy you accidentally catched. Sadly I am not able at the moment, to protect myself and catch the full energy. I just send it back, it should have stayed there in the first place. I'm not a garbage can, you know.

Ok. So you want to discuss this specific technique and not cursing in general? Gotcha. And I already said what I said on that, so no need to rehash it all.

Also I think doing this curse a few times, it made me more aware of the energy I radiate, so I try more not to store negative energy of myself in others. Most other people are not as easily catching energies as myself (a thing I had to learn the hard way), but still it's an important effort. It shows me, how it's better to deal with your own feelings.
....
Also in my ethic I find it more doubtfully to send someone healing energy than give them back what they accidentally gave to me. Because I think everyone has to deal on their own with their feelings and problems in order to learn I find it highly doubtful to hurt their private space in just decide they need some healing. So if someone send out negative energy I make sure they'll get it back. I would not start to try to make their day better, cause that is their excerise. I would if they would ask or something. but I would never unasked. If anyone would try this on me, I would be really angry. I hate it when someone disturbs my personal space. Sending me my own energ back, well that would be ok for me, how else should I learn? If not getting mirrored my own behaviour and energies. This is confronting. You have to face yourself.

It sounds pretty well thought out, and productive. You don't have any illusions about what you're doing, facing the facts of it, and finding a way that it works for you in your ethics. It's a interesting approach. :D
Sorry your post was derailed.
The Gods we worship write their names on our faces; be sure of that. A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson



As believers in the folk-religion we are studying, we seek after mysteries that expand the scope of our gods and our understanding of them, not reductionist theories that reduce them to manageable and socially productive "functions".

-Our Troth
Starwitch Stone
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by Starwitch Stone »

This topic is unlocked now.
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Y0m
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by Y0m »

This thread is really disheartening...
There is no way to justify sending negative energy
Other then your own immature soul desire.
Oh well, people will learn the hard way... Love.
All I know is I love you.
That's about all I can do.
Traumwandlerin
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by Traumwandlerin »

Well, to me you just seem self-rightiouss the way you talk. The way you talk like you are better and on the only true way and all the other will see this in the end ;) But how do you justify sending someone positiv energy?
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by Y0m »

Maybe I should have worded that post a little better,
even so, love and positivity can calm the most deadly of fires.
It just makes me sad when people intentionally want to hurt each other.
We are all closer then you might think.
But you are right, I'm totally not in a position to talk,
hell, I wanted to be a navy seal... who knows what kind of pain I would have caused.
This has opened my eyes.
Thank you, and I love you (Ill think twice before criticizing)
All I know is I love you.
That's about all I can do.
Traumwandlerin
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by Traumwandlerin »

Well I don't do it with the intention of hurt another one. My intention is just to get rid of this energy, my second intention is to get it back to its owner. Of course, if I'm mad, I would like if this hurts a bit, but that's not what I'm after and that's not what I'm putting in this curse. Actually, if I sent this energy back and the other person transfers it into energy to calm down and have a nice day, this would be great for everyone. It's just really unlikely if someone sends negative energy to others and get it back, that they will transform it into something good, itherwise they would have done this in the first place ;)

Also you didn't answer my question: How can you justiy to send someone healing energy (unasked) cause this clearly violates there personal space and actually hinders themselves to learn on their own?
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by Y0m »

Traumwandlerin wrote: Also you didn't answer my question: How can you justify to send someone healing energy (unasked) cause this clearly violates there personal space and actually hinders themselves to learn on their own?
\

Correct, but sending back energy also does the same thing...
I don't see them asking for their energy back.

Through self-knowledge (gained through life experiences and/or meditation)
one learns about the impermanence of the world.
This gives you an understanding of where suffering comes from.
With this knowledge, one is unaffected by positive or negative,
and a compassion is gained for those who are caught up in such duality.
I encourage you to realize who you are and who you are not,
or simply follow the path of life
which will teach you this anyway.
Love you.
All I know is I love you.
That's about all I can do.
Traumwandlerin
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by Traumwandlerin »

It just seemed you've suggested somewher earlier to send healing energy, maybe I've remembered wrong ^^

What is your suggestion for the meantime until you've gained enough experiences? Since people really suffers under catching energies, and meditation didn't work for me in this aspect. In many others though, did it for many years, but getting rid of energies once catched is not possible at the moment trough any positive form of meditation.
Y0m
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by Y0m »

Until you gain experience you will be like a young child without direction.
Either you investigate the advice of those who see,
or you let life teach you the hard way.
Notice I said investigate, which means think about and find out for yourself.
Sending healing/loving energy helps you to develop compassion which will make it easier to let go.
Hint: suffering comes from within when you mentally grasp onto things that are not you.
Love
All I know is I love you.
That's about all I can do.
Traumwandlerin
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by Traumwandlerin »

Thanks, I like the hard and long way ;) No hints for me please :)
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Re: How and when to curse someone

Post by Y0m »

Traumwandlerin wrote:Thanks, I like the hard and long way ;) No hints for me please :)
This is the nature of humanity I'm learning.
Which is why they say we learn and progress in a spiral.
Love you
and many blessings.
All I know is I love you.
That's about all I can do.
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