Revenge on someone who cheated on you?

[jazzwest]

So I hooked up with a chic about a week ago and things were going really well.

Basically she was going through major depression for a long time and was in a complete mess. Fortunately, she was lucky enough to meet someone like me who genuinely cared about her problems and took good care of her. Every time we were together she'd treat me like her boyfriend and wouldn't let go of me. It started to grow on me and I even stopped picking up other chics because I felt a sense of commitment for her and she gave me the impression that I meant alot to her. We were both happy being together.

Last night while I wasn't out with her, she confessed to me that she had slept with a random guy and she felt that I had the right to know about it. Apparently being a whore and making herself available to random guys helps her get over her depression.
She told me she felt like crying because she didn't know if what she did was right but she gave me the impression that she may continue being a whore since she's a bloody mess, and she would totally understand if I didn't want to see her again. Ironically, I had always been there for her to confide in and had given her so much, somehow that wasn't enough for her.

I know this sounds very selfish, but life can be so unfair sometimes. I want her to crawl back to me, realising how important I've been to her, so that I can cheat on her when she's in love with me again. I want her to realise that she had just thrown away probably the best thing that ever happened to her and that she'll never ever get it back because she doesn't deserve me.

Sorry for the long message, I just felt like I had to share it with someone. I'd really appreciate any advice or spells from the community to help me hurt her back real bad, because she really deserves it.


Thanks

[Xiao Rong]

Have you heard of the concept of "Nice Guy (TM)"? Because you are a textbook example.

Look, I get heartbreak and unfairness of life and all that, but I really doubt that you're the best thing that's ever happened to her if you just want to get revenge on her, call her a whore behind her back (or perhaps to her face too!), and solicit the Internet for love spells for the express purpose of cheating on her later. In which case, both you and she could probably do better.

[Firebird]

Whore is an awfully strong word. And from your post it would appear you two were barely dating, and did NOT have a committed relationship. Sounds like she felt safe enough to tell you of her escapades. Having a fling does not make you a whore. Now the fact that you want to get back at her, tells me you do not really care about this girl. If she in fact has some issues, and is a "mess" then she needs help, not someone who is going to hurt her more. I understand that you are hurt, but if you really DID care about this girl, it would not matter who she has been with. You two were not married and It doesn't look like like there was any sort of agreement in place.
Revenge is not becoming in the eyes of the Goddess.
BB, Firebird

[jazzwest]

It was much more than a fling..

Thanks for the advice. I guess everyone here has a point. It's just that I've been cheated by other girls before in the past, and I suppose that feeling of insecurity is just causing me to over-react.
I'm sorry for what I just said. I just had to let my disappoint and anger out, but I'm starting to get over it now...

So what should I do now?
If I look deep into myself, there's something about her that still makes me concerned and still want to care for her wellbeing. But I feel very bitter not at the what she did, but at the fact that she's adamant about changing for the better.
She just wants me to be that "boyfriend" to be used at her disposal while she continues to sleep around, and later tell me that she had doubts about doing it.
All this time of being with her, I've done so much in trying to help her learn to respect herself more and I really thought I had succeeded, but I guess some people choose to be a mess and take the ones who cared most for granted..

[goddessfaithful]

Run don't walk. She's bringing out the bad in you. You can not fix what you didn't break. Go, fast as the wind. You are not her solution. Wish her well, then wish her farewell.

[SnowCat]

My ex cheated on me right after our daughter was born, then bailed out completely. My revenge, if it can be called that, was to raise our daughter to be a good and responsible person, and to have a successful life without him.

Now, why does the double standard still apply, that says guys can do their thing, and it's okay, but women are supposed to be chaste? Please drag yourself out of the nineteenth century jazzwest.

Respectfully,

Frosty (a wise old cat)

[Xiao Rong]

First of all, Jazzwest, I'd say you should examine your motives for wanting to be with her. Hopefully it's not out of revenge or spite. I also generally don't think relationships in which one person is trying to "fix" the other work very well (trust me, I've been the "broken girl" who needed fixing) - you two both need to be on equal footing in a relationship, and like each other the way you are, not for the way you (maybe) could be.

If you are interested in pursuing a relationship in good faith (as in, you really like her and she likes you and you can put these incidents behind you), then I would suggest having a serious talk about boundaries. It seemed to me from your description that neither you nor she were very clear on what kind of relationship you were in (particularly regarding exclusivity). I don't think it's fair for you to be very angry when she had other partners but it was not established that you expected her to be exclusive. If you were to talk openly about it, perhaps you could establish those boundaries, or find that you two are not currently ready for such a relationship (in which case you should just move on). I always think it's best to get that stuff out in the open rather than be jealous and seethe when it could actually be a matter of miscommunication.

[Fenrir]

Many people have said it here already, so I will just reinforce.

Step back and give yourself sometime. It is unlikely you will ever like her again, however one day you will get over it, and the anger will fade.

[jazzwest]

Thanks for the helpful advice, guys.

I guess what I really needed here was some support to get over this incident. I personally suffered from suicidal depression for a long time and I could never love myself or accept myself the way I was.
I just kept questioning what was "wrong" with the way I am?
I'm a young decent looking guy, very career driven, good cook (I'm a Chef), owns a sports car, musically talented, VERY socialable and someone who just gives more than receives (if you know what I mean). And yet I always get taken for granted.
Most of the people know me well always think that girls would be crazy over who I am, but it hurts to know that I'm living a lie....

For the short period of time I was together with this girl, this girl gave me the impression she wanted me to be hers and made me feel that I was "enough" for once. For a girl in her messed up situation to throw away a guy like me, really hit me very hard.
I just don't understand why it's so hard for fate to allow me to meet the right girl who would love and accept me for who I am.

This is one of the reasons why I hate Christianity so much, because I've been so faithful for years and yet God/Jesus chose not to fulfill such a reasonable request (to not feel lonely anymore) and allowed my depression to worsen.

Hence, why I'm here...to find comfort and acceptance. Thanks for listening, everyone.

[Lillady]

Jazz.... I can relate to your situation and can understand your wanting to seek "revenge" Im sorry this happened to you but remember revenge is not always the best policy. I have been the the cheater and have been cheated on so I know the feeling from both sides. It sucks, it hurts, you get angry etc. When bad things like this happen, please keep in mind to not "jump the gun" and want to cast a spell so that person feels what you did. Let karma do that for you because by seeking revenge by casting a spell it can have the opposite effect, hence the three fold law. The best piece of advice is to say a chant for her that she will not "hurt" other people like she has you. We are all only human, we make mistakes etc. I am glad you have seen that seeking revenge is not always the answer. Just a suggestion for your depression, seek out spells for healing, they do help to heal things such as depression, negativity etc. Good luck to you and Blessings Be!

[Vervain]

I'm glad to see that this community overwhelmingly speaks with reason despite several misguided souls. Jazzwest, listen to what people are saying. Examine your motives and recalculate.

[-Dark-Moon-]

Ah Vervain, theres a little bit of misguided soul in all of us.....

Jazz, it wasn't your fault, sh!t happens. Some people cheat for all kinds of reasons. You don't really have to be emotionally responsible for other people's crappy choices. I know it hurts though.

You either forgive and forget, or move on, or all of the above. In these situations I'm always reminded of the 5 of cups.

http://tarot-theroyalroad.blogspot.com. ... ups-v.html

How did things go?