Help please. Haunted by a past life

[nicola]

So, for a long time I've had these sort of visions, usually like flashes of scenes from a time long ago, just now and again I'd see something.
Now a couple of months ago they started getting really frequent, lasting longer and showing more detail. The more I saw, the more obvious it became that I was remembering a past life.
What I have gathered so far is that I lived in a sort of huge manor house in around the 1600s or 1700s (I get them confused a lot) I think I was either a member of a rich family that lived there or a maid, I somehow get the feeling I was both, but I don't know how that works, maybe I was one posing as the other? I don't know.
But I see scenes of the house, beautiful white walls, incredible detail. I often find myself standing outside the huge front door, looking down the steps at a man in military uniform (I don't know where the uniforms from or anything) talking to 2 women, he looks up at me and I know i'm in love with him as he is with me but it's a secret. Now here's where it currently haunts me, I know the man in this life, he looks different but I know it's the same soul. we met in this life about 7 years ago, I fell in love with him instantly and we had an intense on and off secret relationship. So when I started getting the visions I just figured it was guilt about that relationship... But then I mentioned it to my current partner who also knows the man in this life. I started describing the building and when I got half way through he stopped me and finished the description off to a t, he asked me what colours were in the dining room, I told him and he described the whole room, he then told me that he and the guy I had the relationship with were friends in that life, they sat opposite ends of the long dining table having discussions. I then remembered a dream i'd had, i'd been in a doorway dressed as a maid, watching them at the table. Turns out that both my current partner and the only other guy I've felt 100% in love with in this life both shared a past life with me. And my current partner has admitted feeling angry at me for something that happened in that life but he doesn't know what.
The only other thing I've seen is what I think was my death in that life, I was led on the cobblestones of a thin street, wearing a red dress, with smoke coming from the buildings behind me.

I want more than anything to know more of that life. I have no intent on dwelling on it or anything, just feel it would put my mind at rest if I could remember a little more.
If anyone knows any ways I might be able to work it out it would be much appreciated. x

[blue_moon]

I have no experience with past-life. In theory you should be able to meditate and enter your memory to get a better look.

[nicola]

I've tried meditating but my daughter doesn't sleep well and tends stir as soon as I think I'm about to get somewhere and I respond to her too quickly :/
I sometimes get a little closer in my dreams but don't manage to remember them well enough xx

[RosieMoonflower]

I've had luck recovering details of past lives with tarot cards.

Rosie

[nicola]

I've tried learning about tarot cards, but just can't seem to understand them x

[Lord_of_Nightmares]

Do some spells so you can entice lucid dreaming about them. Mugwort is supposed to do that.

[nicola]

I've actually not tried any form of spells since I was in my teens. I wouldn't know where to start. I'll look into the mugwort though.

To be honest the only reason I want to know about this particular past life is so I can stop thinking about the guy I know as he's now engaged and of course i'm in a relationship and feel bad that I can't get him out of my head. I also hope that finding out what made my current partner so mad at me in that life and hopefully avoid repeating whatever it was in this one x

[Becks]

I understand where you are coming from, but knowing the details of your relationship won't necessarily put you at peace.....what if you find out something that makes you think about this person more? Ultimately you have to decide to put it aside yourself. For the sake of your current relationship. Knowing what was done doesn't help you avoid doing things that hurt others. Making positive and respectful choices and honouring the people we are with keeps things on the right path. Love and relationships are sustained by what we 'do' with loving intent and deed-not what we don't do. This isn't about 'avoiding'. The truth and path forward is actually quite simple.

If you want to find out more about your past because you are fascinated and want to know....well that's different and it's fine. It's a choice. Just acknowledge what you are doing. Thinking more and exploring more about somebody who interests you...and how you two are connected. Could you go without knowing this info to have a successful new relationship and life? Yes you could. Do you have a right to chose to know? Yes you do.

I'm with Lilith on this one-mugwort tea or dream pillow/sachet and working on developing lucid dreaming skills would be my choice. That's how you got the first bit. I wouldn't reinvent the wheel.

[nicola]

Thanks Beck's, I really like and appreciate the way you put that
It's not that I think about the other guy in a romantic way or anything, I put those feelings behind me a long time ago, it's just every time I get a flash of the past life, I think of him in general. I'm hoping that if I can see the big picture of this past life, rather than snippets here and there, I may be able to stop thinking of it.
As for my partner, it'd be nice to understand what his unknown anger is about so I can help him to better realise that it's not in our present. In honesty we have other problems to fix, if I can get this one out of the way he may be willing to put it behind him and focus on our problems.
It might just be wishful thinking, but if knowing doesn't help I can at least work out the next steps afterwards
Thank you all x

[Ivy]

Nicola are these visions and flashes whilst awake or only dreaming? If when you are awake is there any apparent trigger, a smell or object or place or word, something that brings it on?
Do you ground and protect at all, if so what method do you use.
Sorry for the questions but I would need to understand a bit more before offering any way forward, or should that be backward?

But Becks gives some good advice, mixing Now with Then is very tricky and really can tear people apart.

[nicola]

They have mainly been while awake and sat watching tv in my daughters bedroom, and i'd never thought about it before but the most informative dreams happened when I slept in that room too. The have been a few flashes when i've been out walking too.
I don't really know anything about grounding and protection, I usually just sort of put my mind into a state of feeling in control, it's not failed yet.
I actually tried a sort of meditation this morning, but as soon as I got into a state where I felt like I could explore, it was like I was thrown into a swirling vortex and literally told it's not time (not sure who told me, just a muffled male voice in the moment before I opened my eyes) So I guess I should probably heed the warning and leave it for now x

[Becks]

in honesty we have other problems to fix, if I can get this one out of the way he may be willing to put it behind him and focus on our problems.
It might just be wishful thinking, but if knowing doesn't help I can at least work out the next steps afterwards
Thank you all x

My thoughts are certainly with you. I would say simply that he shouldn't hold you accountable in this life for the last life. Love and respect each other and enjoy this time.