So Skeptical It Hurts

[Oddball]

Turns out spirituality is harder than I thought. Former Catholic, had a "break-up" with Catholicism due to disagreements about its doctrine on homosexuality & women's status in the church. Not to mention that I finally figured out that there were other religions that also had valid ideologies. And so now I'm an atheist, and hating it. I don't have a problem with other people being atheists, but it doesn't feel right for me. I/want/ to believe in something/someone greater. Call it naievite if you want, but I like having archetypes and examples, spirits and gods who walk the walk and talk the talk.

I like to b lieve that some of the stranger moments in my life were more than just coincidences. I still thank God/the universe/whatever when luck's on my side, because I feel like I should. But it's so hard for me to believe in gods/spirits, even though I really want to. I bring this up because I saw these tarot readings to find your patron deity, and I was so, so tempted. But it seems like an easy, false out.

Shouldn't I be more patient in finding my spirituality? What if I don't even have a god/guide watching over me? Am I even ready yet? How do find spirituality if you don't even know where to start?! It's so hard to believe, agggggggh!

[SnowCat]

I think you might be over thinking it. Relax and see what happens. If you feel like someone is reaching out, do some research. This stuff isn't written in stone. It's written in pencil, because we make mistakes.

Snow

[Xiao Rong]

I wrote a bit about non-theistic Paganism and not needing a specific patron deity. I've definitely experienced it myself, since I grew up in an theist family. Some refer to the feeling of needing something more out there as "disenchantment" -- that our society tends to prize literal and scientific truth over anything else, when in reality there are also spiritual and emotional truths that we yearn for, to find meaning and connection in the universe.

I have also secretly wondered what was wrong with me that a god wasn't claiming me as their own right off the bat, but I would have felt far more hollow faking a spiritual connection that I didn't have. I still haven't experienced being "claimed", but I think I now feel close to some deities (most notably, Guanyin) and consider myself in her service. I don't know what the nature of the gods are, still, but I've experienced things that are more than coincidence and now prayer feels natural and easy, without the need for questioning.

If prayer or rituals feel right to you, then keep doing it. Don't worry about looking silly; you may find the more that you work with them (even if you don't have belief right away), they may make themselves known to you.

[SpiritTalker]

I've started over a couple of times, & it finally sank in that my path isn't logical, it's intuitive (and me, a Virgo!? ). It helped when I stopped trying to define what god is, and let it show me what it wanted me to know; to experience it/them within us/me, as both looking out from our eyes and looking back at us from the infinite forms it chooses ... But it might be shown to you differently, as it should.

Ive never not known (in this life) that "something" is there, and over there, and there too I apologize that I can't get my head around solid atheism. I can grasp agnosticism, and I get the gist of what some folks call god is what others call nature, or physics. I think im in the nature camp now.

And raspberries to being patient to find that spiritual link you resonate with. Be patient with grocery baggers who put cans on top of the bread.

[Lord_of_Nightmares]

It's fine to be skeptical and not believe in things. As long as it's healthy skepticism. Question everything. Be logical. Eventually you need to figure out yourself.

[planewalker]

I don't feel I can advise you on what deity or deities are right for you. I hope I can show you a starting point. A hook you can hang your hat on, so to speak. We all look for something bigger then ourselves. Something that helps make sense of what would otherwise seem to be an arbitrary existence that begins by accident and ends in ceasing to exist. It feels, down deep in our spirits, that there is more to life. I believe there is.

I've been to the other side. I'm lucky enough to have been allowed back. There is some One(s) or Being or Entity or something that I don't fully understand that helps me and does so directly. I don't care what "non-fantasy prone " individuals say, I do "hear" a voice in important instances. I can't prove it exists as something separate from myself. I really can't, in all honesty, prove that I exist.

I would put forward, for you're consideration, the fact that it is an exception to the rules of chemistry and physics that allows life to exist. That is really the basis of life. I take it as proof of existence of a guiding power to the multiverse. Someone had to think of it. Water is the only compound that reaches it's heaviest, densest point when it is a liquid. Acting in this manner, we have a medium to support life. If it acted as other compounds do, we would have a ball of ice. Sometimes it's a nice bonus to have a fact that supports what is otherwise an act of faith.