Bad spell, Good reason

Mr. Oogie Boogie · Post by **Mr. Oogie Boogie** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 5:13 pm

Hey guys,

My friend is in a relationship with a guy this is f*cking crazy. He trashed her room looking for her journal, she cant sit next to ANY other guys at lunch even if they arent talking etc.

I came across a spell that breaks up couples and I am seriously considering using it.

I wouldnt do this unless it was REALLY nessacary.

I tried my best but she just wont break up with him.

What should I do? I don't want to do anything bad but I am afraid he might completely lose his temper and hit her.

He hasn't done it yet (she says). She also said his temper scares her.

She tried to break up with him once but couldnt do it.

Should I give this the push it clearly needs?

Shelby

Post by **Wolf Heart** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 5:37 pm

I would continue talking to your friend, just a while longer. Maybe talk to the guy, if that is even possible.
I would suggest making a spell that will give your friend confidence and clear her mind so she can see the situation as it really is. Rather than forcing a break up spell on them.

That's just my opinion.

~Wolf Heart~

Mr. Oogie Boogie · Post by **Mr. Oogie Boogie** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 6:16 pm

I did try to talk to him and he called me a "fat ass fag boy" and told me he would kick my ass if he ever saw me with her again...

Post by **[Haley]** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 7:39 pm

From what I've gathered, I think you should first tell your friend's parents (if they don't already know). Wolf Heart had a great suggestion by making a spell to help her face the truth, and talk to her. If that doesn't work and he still won't leave, try the spell. However, if the spell can't hold back his craziness and he has hit her or threatened her then you should seek a restraining order.

Post by **Ravenari** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 8:16 pm

I tried my best but she just wont break up with him.

*nods* The question is, making someone or forcing someone to do something because you think it's right, isn't always the best course of action.

So you need to be prepared for all consequences, including the repercussion that you may do more damage than good - no matter how 'good' your intentions are.

You need to accept full responsibility for any acts you intend to carry out, and be prepared to wear not only successes, but also things that go wrong. We do this every day with our actions, but it is very important that we also do it with our spells, and not go in blind to the idea that we might do damage as well as good.

I think it's great that you want to defend your friend, but you have to consider things like this:

- does she have emotional insecurities which will just mean that she ends up in another relationship that is similar? You can't make someone have self-respect and self-love with one spell, and therefore while you might stop her from learning how to respect herself this time, eventually she will be drawn to another destructive situation (and keep on being drawn to them) until she learns how to look after herself.

- in taking responsibility for her and her problems, are you taking away her ability to take responsibility for herself? Is your compassion and love, actually stopping her from having the compassion and love for herself necessary to break away from the relationship?

- why hasn't she taken out a restraining order, or actually done anything to protect herself? Why am I the one taking responsibility for this? What do I get out of it?

- what are the costs of doing the spell? What are the costs of not doing the spell? What are other alternatives in the meantime?

It is the last question that tends to over-ride a few of the others, but that doesn't make them any less valid. If the costs of doing the spell are less high than the costs of inaction, then I would say by all means do the spell. Just make sure you go in prepared.

Mr. Oogie Boogie · Post by **Mr. Oogie Boogie** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 11:59 pm

Thank you so much for your responses! I took Ravenari's advise and examined what would happen if I did/didnt do the spell. Although there is no way to tell, with out the spell, I am VERY sure he will physicaly abuse her. With the spell he still may do that if she tries to break up with him. If she tries to end it and he hits her, she is more likely to tell someone than if she is still in the relationship because she feels loyal to him.

Basicaly:

She can either break up with him and MAYBE but not definately get hurt

or

Stay with him and most likely get hurt.

I went with option one. I cast the spell. Whats done is done and i sincerly hope she doesnt get hurt. I will also find a protection spell for her just incase. I am prepared to accept the karma and move on.

I'll keep you guys posted.

Thanks and blessed be

Shelby

Post by **Ravenari** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 8:17 pm

I went with option one. I cast the spell. Whats done is done and i sincerly hope she doesnt get hurt. I will also find a protection spell for her just incase. I am prepared to accept the karma and move on.

I think this is fantastic that you thought through what your options were, and that you are prepared to take responsibility for your actions. I hope your friend remains safe and learns how to look after herself.

Post by **Skylights** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 2:38 pm

Even given the possible ethical problems it brings up, I probably would have done the same thing. As long as you are ready to take responsibility for whatever happens. I support your decision, and I really hope it works out for your friend, and for you.

Post by BlackenedRose* » Sat Jun 10, 2006 5:31 am

I think you did the right thing. I would have done the same every time, though my judgement sometimes isn't the best. Hope it goes okay for this poor girl.

Post by **Nyte_Wytch** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 3:04 pm

Mr Oogie Boogie said:
I will also find a protection spell for her just incase.

This is a good idea and can be very helpful ;o)

I am prepared to accept the karma and move on.

Again, sometimes we can be the tool thru which Karma works. Don't dwell on what you have done, it's done. By dwelling on it and thinking "I shouldn't have etc." you could very well, through your own thoughts manifest a Karmic return to yourself.

Mr. Oogie Boogie · Post by **Mr. Oogie Boogie** » Tue Jun 20, 2006 2:31 pm

Hey guys,

I called my friend and she hasnt broken up with him yet so I doubt it worked

. Which really doesnt help me with the doubts I had about it...

Post by **Elem** » Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:36 pm

Sometimes you just gotta let nature run its course.. You just have to hope that she has the good judgement and sense to realise that it's not a healthy relationship.. Or that he has the sense to learn to control his anger / jealousy / paranoia.

Good luck to them, and to you as the supportive friend

.

Elem