I am experiencing something that is confusing me a bit ... so I thought I would post it here to get some opinions as most ppl here are in touch with their innerself to give insight I feel.
Ok I am currently in a good loving relationship. But last night I ran into an ex. Now my relationship with this ex was not particularly good,and lasted only bout 6mths. He was tellin me what he has been up to lately & about the new gf etc. But anyway, seeing him and hearing these things I felt hurt ... ? I am not in love with this person and when I saw him I did not even feel attracted to him nor do I feel like I want to be with him. So I dont know or understand why I feel soo sort of hurt or sad after seeing him ... ? It is really confusing me ... cos I know he is not a nice person and i know I dont want to be with him and i dont love him or anything - i mean, i hardly even like the guy ... so waht are these feelings about ... ?
Needing some of your insight please ....
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[moondance]
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[GeekyPagan]
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moonwitch*
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Moondance
This happen to me as well. For me it was the same as you and that there was no longer any attraction or desire to be with him.... but I still felt hurt. It took me a while but I figured it out. What hurt me was that with me we where not able to find the kind of happiness he had in this new relationship. It hurt because it was like I had failed us... you know what could we have done to make it right ....where we not worth the effort for the 2 of us to try to make it work???? Anyway, what hurt was the loss of " what could have been" ... keep in mind everyone brings out a different side of you .. the same as you bring out a different side of people you come in contact with ... my conclusion to my issue was simply that we were not ment to be together.. we did not belong together.... hope this helps.....
This happen to me as well. For me it was the same as you and that there was no longer any attraction or desire to be with him.... but I still felt hurt. It took me a while but I figured it out. What hurt me was that with me we where not able to find the kind of happiness he had in this new relationship. It hurt because it was like I had failed us... you know what could we have done to make it right ....where we not worth the effort for the 2 of us to try to make it work???? Anyway, what hurt was the loss of " what could have been" ... keep in mind everyone brings out a different side of you .. the same as you bring out a different side of people you come in contact with ... my conclusion to my issue was simply that we were not ment to be together.. we did not belong together.... hope this helps.....
Moon Witch
yep, sounds pretty normal to me. Have had the same feeling. Look at the situation realistically, remember all the reasons why this person and you are unsuitable together. It will go away. Remember, tis just a feeling, it's not like you threw yourself at his feet and proposed marriage, right? I think hearing that an ex has a new girlfriend is an unsettling thing at the best of times. I never really like hearing that.
Idz qaala
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WolfWitch
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Going to have to back up everyone else on this. I've been through it to and I'm a guy. Sometimes in life, you just get dinged up just hard enough that it hurts just to think about it, even years later. (There's parts of my teenage years I'd wipe from existance if I could so i wouldn't have to ever think of them again.)
My recomendation (as you asked for in the title.) Set down and deal with anything you think you need to deal with. If this means crying one last time about part of it, so be it. If this means raging for a while by yorself untill you feel better, so be it. Just don't let the emotions build up and fester. Deal with them as needed.
Also, I recomend a pint of HaggenDaz chocolate. This should blitz him out of the ol' grey matter quit nicely. If not, try the strawberry cheesecake.
BB.
WW.
My recomendation (as you asked for in the title.) Set down and deal with anything you think you need to deal with. If this means crying one last time about part of it, so be it. If this means raging for a while by yorself untill you feel better, so be it. Just don't let the emotions build up and fester. Deal with them as needed.
Also, I recomend a pint of HaggenDaz chocolate. This should blitz him out of the ol' grey matter quit nicely. If not, try the strawberry cheesecake.
BB.
WW.
The greatest advice I was ever given: It matters not what you believe. Only that you believe it wholeheartedly.
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[GeekyPagan]
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The first time i talked to my ex after we broke up hert me alot, but for differnt resons then "why didnt i make an effort". It hert me because it took me a long time to get over him, and he told me how he was over it that night and he even went out and slept with all thes people ( yeas people, not wemon blah). He was a ( excuse thing ) jack ass. But the fact that he could of cared less about our relationship is what hert me the most. Because i put so much into trying to get the relationship to work and he just kept lieing to me. ( i got over him, but i still have issues with the way he acted and treated me.) Hurm, i made myself mad.......
Dose anyone have any sejestions on how to stop being mad? I am over him and acculy gratfull i dated him because i was a very close minded person befor i meet him, and he opend me up i guess. But is it right for me to be angry with him?
Dose anyone have any sejestions on how to stop being mad? I am over him and acculy gratfull i dated him because i was a very close minded person befor i meet him, and he opend me up i guess. But is it right for me to be angry with him?
Merry Part
~Addalaide
~Addalaide
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[GeekyPagan]
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Addalaide, its not good to carry that anger around in your heart. Part of the process of getting over things (or what some would call grieving, yes you can grieve for the death of a realtionship, no matter how bad) is anger. But after that, you have to let the anger go. Yeah, he hurt you...but that is not something you want to carry around, is it?
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WolfWitch
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Addalaide: Find a nice place to be alone. A well ventalated area, outdoors if possible. But Private is the only real nessesity.
Light two candles and place them before you. Close your eyes and take several deep cleansing breaths. With each exhale, feel the tension and anger flow from you like smoke, let each in intake be cool, comforting and refreshing in your nostrals.
When you are relaxed, quetly recite to yourself the following encantation.
"I am the tree, my roots are sunk deep in the Earth. I will let my worries flow through me as wind through my branches. I will bend, I will bow, but I will never break, I am strong. I will let them flow over me, around me, through me, beyond me. I am the tree, my roots are set deep in the Earth."
If you wish, I also have an alternate that I sometimes say as a second verse to this. It's mediphor might be more to your liking.
" I am the rock, set firm in the riverbed. I will let my worries flow as water in the river. I will weather them and not be moved. I will allow them to flow over me, around me, away from me, beyond me. I am the rock set firm in the riverbed."
Recite these as you feel the need or want until such time as you have exhausted the anger or pain within you. I have found no hurt in my life yet that can withstand this for long.
Blessed be and good luck.
WW.
Light two candles and place them before you. Close your eyes and take several deep cleansing breaths. With each exhale, feel the tension and anger flow from you like smoke, let each in intake be cool, comforting and refreshing in your nostrals.
When you are relaxed, quetly recite to yourself the following encantation.
"I am the tree, my roots are sunk deep in the Earth. I will let my worries flow through me as wind through my branches. I will bend, I will bow, but I will never break, I am strong. I will let them flow over me, around me, through me, beyond me. I am the tree, my roots are set deep in the Earth."
If you wish, I also have an alternate that I sometimes say as a second verse to this. It's mediphor might be more to your liking.
" I am the rock, set firm in the riverbed. I will let my worries flow as water in the river. I will weather them and not be moved. I will allow them to flow over me, around me, away from me, beyond me. I am the rock set firm in the riverbed."
Recite these as you feel the need or want until such time as you have exhausted the anger or pain within you. I have found no hurt in my life yet that can withstand this for long.
Blessed be and good luck.
WW.
The greatest advice I was ever given: It matters not what you believe. Only that you believe it wholeheartedly.
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[moondance]
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Thank you everyone for all your wonderful advise and thoughts ... yes these insights helped me a great deal in perhaps understanding what was going on ... well I havent seen him since and I am pretty sure our paths wont cross again ... sometimes absence makes the heart grow stronger (and clearer!) hehe .. thanks everyone ... I am feeling much better now .. xx