I know theres a suicide section, but, I don't know. Suicidal thoguhts have been a regular thought in my life, I figure, this could go here too. I think they'll go away if I was happier.
Anyways, I'm sort of ranting and asking for help. Reach out if you will, and please pardon any bad or graphic language I use. But why the F*CK am I so miserable, all the time? I can't go through a f*cking day without feeling horrible! And how come every time something goes wrong one of the first things through my mind is going to the kitchen and grabbing a knife to slit my throat?
Why the hell is it, that no matter how hard I try, or how good of a person I attempt to be, nothing ever f*cking goes my way? Why the f*ck can't I keep to what I set out to do? Why the hell am I so f*cking self conscious even though I'm not supposed to be? Why can't I even have more than two f*cking real friends? Why do I have to be losing my best friend TO my only other real friend?
Why the hell does all this happen to me.
Why am I so damn miserable? +suicidal
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Silverslayer
- Posts: 54
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- Gender: Female
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JackRabbitSlims
- Posts: 221
- Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 2:06 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: On a rock.
Sometimes asking "why" can be of great help. 
This is because when we ask, "why" we are showing it to ourselves too.
That doesn't seem to make much sense.
Put differently: when I'm angry or pissy, I take a step back, (as hard as it may be) and ask myself, why? Why am I so upset? Will this affect me in the long run? Why do am I putting so much time and energy into this??
If you can think of reasons, then you pick each reason out, and fix it.
If you can't think of any logical, rational reasons that you are upset, then don't be. Tell yourself there's no reason to, and forget it.
Lately I've been seeing life in a whole new light.
I'm living in the moment, and if there's nothing in that moment that sucks balls, then I'm a happy gal all the time.
But I understand that being positive all the time is really difficult.
Especially with every day worries building up on us. But we need to start thinking about how insignificant those little day worries are.
This like finnancial issues, health problems, okay those are things to worry about. (But even those, if they can't be helped at that exact moment, don't worry yourself and upset your self right then. There's no point.)
But letting ourselves have a ruined day over small things, like your hair not doing what you want, a snide comment a co-worker made, or even some asshole that cut you off, they won't matter in the end.
About the suicidal thoughts; when I was younger, for some reason I got the same thoughts. I don't know why. It felt shitty as f*ck. You see a knife, and full of emotion, you think of possibilities.
I've found the easiest and fastest way to get rid of these thoughts, is to laugh them off.
As soon as a terrible thought comes into your mind, make yourself smile and laugh at it, and then dismiss it. Its unimportant. And after awhile, the thoughts will be seen as "laughable" (literally) and not even worth the time and energy.
I think we forget how good life is sometimes. As hard as it may be, we need to be positive.
I have 2 best friends for instance, and instead of seeing it as "only having two good friends," I see it as being lucky enough to have people who love and are special enough to be called my best friends.
The way I see it, and what I've learned in the time I've spent here, is life is way to short to spend time worrying and being upset. What good does it do you? Does it fix things? Improve them?
Nope. Just creates more negative energy by dwelling on them.
So as I've said before:
Stop.
Breathe.
Think positive!
Life is good.
I'll send you positive energy and I hope all of this didn't end up being a silly rambling post.
Bright Blessings,
Tara
This is because when we ask, "why" we are showing it to ourselves too.
That doesn't seem to make much sense.
Put differently: when I'm angry or pissy, I take a step back, (as hard as it may be) and ask myself, why? Why am I so upset? Will this affect me in the long run? Why do am I putting so much time and energy into this??
If you can think of reasons, then you pick each reason out, and fix it.
If you can't think of any logical, rational reasons that you are upset, then don't be. Tell yourself there's no reason to, and forget it.
Lately I've been seeing life in a whole new light.
I'm living in the moment, and if there's nothing in that moment that sucks balls, then I'm a happy gal all the time.
But I understand that being positive all the time is really difficult.
Especially with every day worries building up on us. But we need to start thinking about how insignificant those little day worries are.
This like finnancial issues, health problems, okay those are things to worry about. (But even those, if they can't be helped at that exact moment, don't worry yourself and upset your self right then. There's no point.)
But letting ourselves have a ruined day over small things, like your hair not doing what you want, a snide comment a co-worker made, or even some asshole that cut you off, they won't matter in the end.
About the suicidal thoughts; when I was younger, for some reason I got the same thoughts. I don't know why. It felt shitty as f*ck. You see a knife, and full of emotion, you think of possibilities.
I've found the easiest and fastest way to get rid of these thoughts, is to laugh them off.
As soon as a terrible thought comes into your mind, make yourself smile and laugh at it, and then dismiss it. Its unimportant. And after awhile, the thoughts will be seen as "laughable" (literally) and not even worth the time and energy.
I think we forget how good life is sometimes. As hard as it may be, we need to be positive.
I have 2 best friends for instance, and instead of seeing it as "only having two good friends," I see it as being lucky enough to have people who love and are special enough to be called my best friends.
The way I see it, and what I've learned in the time I've spent here, is life is way to short to spend time worrying and being upset. What good does it do you? Does it fix things? Improve them?
Nope. Just creates more negative energy by dwelling on them.
So as I've said before:
Stop.
Breathe.
Think positive!
Life is good.
I'll send you positive energy and I hope all of this didn't end up being a silly rambling post.
Bright Blessings,
Tara
.You are Beautiful.
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JackRabbitSlims
- Posts: 221
- Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 2:06 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: On a rock.
Oh! And by the way, about the self concious thing.
Don't be.
You're such an amazing, beautiful person, and your living in a beautiful world.
This site is really inspiring and helps make people feel good.
Maybe you'd be interested in joining?
Www.you-are-beautiful.com
And always remember, You ARE beautiful.
Don't be.
You're such an amazing, beautiful person, and your living in a beautiful world.
This site is really inspiring and helps make people feel good.
Maybe you'd be interested in joining?
Www.you-are-beautiful.com
And always remember, You ARE beautiful.
.You are Beautiful.
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KaidaPyralis
- Posts: 128
- Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2007 8:46 am
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Rifts
- Banned Member
- Posts: 255
- Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:15 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: At the Crossroads of life.
This webcomic'll turn you off suicide forever.
http://suicideforhire.comicgenesis.com/d/20041022.html
http://suicideforhire.comicgenesis.com/d/20041022.html
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JackRabbitSlims
- Posts: 221
- Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 2:06 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: On a rock.
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One Walker
- Posts: 595
- Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:42 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Minnesota, USA
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Silverslayer
- Posts: 54
- Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2009 1:22 am
- Gender: Female
About the vampire cat, One Walker?
I've had these thoughts for years, lol.
But now..I don't know. I'm feeling better. I was in a relationship with Alyssa, as you know, we've since broken up..And are going to take things in a different way, in the relatively near future(we're just close friends right now).
So I don't know. Maybe my misery from that was being shown in this way.
Also, JackRabbit, I don't even see a knife or anything. I just get these visions in my head of me doing it. I don't exactly stop seeing what's in front of me, but I see it pretty clearly. You probally know what I mean.
I'm feeling a lot better now though. I haven't even done anything. But my moods always seem to swing like this, too..
I've had these thoughts for years, lol.
But now..I don't know. I'm feeling better. I was in a relationship with Alyssa, as you know, we've since broken up..And are going to take things in a different way, in the relatively near future(we're just close friends right now).
So I don't know. Maybe my misery from that was being shown in this way.
Also, JackRabbit, I don't even see a knife or anything. I just get these visions in my head of me doing it. I don't exactly stop seeing what's in front of me, but I see it pretty clearly. You probally know what I mean.
I'm feeling a lot better now though. I haven't even done anything. But my moods always seem to swing like this, too..
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One Walker
- Posts: 595
- Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:42 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Minnesota, USA
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Moon_Stone
- Posts: 1117
- Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2004 1:51 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Where the Wild Things are
- Contact:
Silverslayer, what you're experiencing -it's normal. Granted, not necessarily "healthy" but then again, who really is in the broad sense of the word?
Two things that may help in future,
#1. Remember that anytime you are upset with yourself, your life, your circumstances... that it is actually just you, and you alone who is making yourself feel that way and dragging yourself through the dirt.
-take for example, this: someone says something to you and you're hurt by it. You internalize the hurt, hide it-- and the person who made the comment is off on their merry little way, oblivious. Meanwhile, you are tearing yourself up into shreds internally-- because of how that comment made you feel.
Therefore, you are the only one hurting you.
It's all a matter of perception.
#2. I believe that everything a person experiences is something they need to experience in their life to become the person they are supposed to be. There are lessons in everything. Sure, I've had my share of awful occurrences, and I'm certainly not the most well-adjusted individual in the world, but that doesn't mean I feel the planet is taking a personal affront against me when things don't go my way. I simply change my outlook: it's not that I am bad here, it's not that I have done something bad or deserve this bad thing... it's just an experience, and one that is here solely so I can go through it and grow from it in the end.
Again, it's a matter of perception.
As my husband wisely reminds me from time to time, "no one can make you feel anything besides you" --this is quite true. You decide how you let your emotions handle an occurrence (or even a whole slew of them at the same time)... and while it's totally human to react first with emotion, it's our intellect that allows us to see different angles.
So, try to look at them all as learning experiences. Sucky, painful, horrible, awful learning experiences, but learning experiences none the less.
If you ever feel you've reached the end of your rope, please feel free to PM either me or .... and here is a link to the listing for suicide prevention hotlines, if you or someone you know ever needs it.
Bright Blessings to you. :28:
~MoonStone
Two things that may help in future,
#1. Remember that anytime you are upset with yourself, your life, your circumstances... that it is actually just you, and you alone who is making yourself feel that way and dragging yourself through the dirt.
-take for example, this: someone says something to you and you're hurt by it. You internalize the hurt, hide it-- and the person who made the comment is off on their merry little way, oblivious. Meanwhile, you are tearing yourself up into shreds internally-- because of how that comment made you feel.
Therefore, you are the only one hurting you.
It's all a matter of perception.
#2. I believe that everything a person experiences is something they need to experience in their life to become the person they are supposed to be. There are lessons in everything. Sure, I've had my share of awful occurrences, and I'm certainly not the most well-adjusted individual in the world, but that doesn't mean I feel the planet is taking a personal affront against me when things don't go my way. I simply change my outlook: it's not that I am bad here, it's not that I have done something bad or deserve this bad thing... it's just an experience, and one that is here solely so I can go through it and grow from it in the end.
Again, it's a matter of perception.
As my husband wisely reminds me from time to time, "no one can make you feel anything besides you" --this is quite true. You decide how you let your emotions handle an occurrence (or even a whole slew of them at the same time)... and while it's totally human to react first with emotion, it's our intellect that allows us to see different angles.
So, try to look at them all as learning experiences. Sucky, painful, horrible, awful learning experiences, but learning experiences none the less.
If you ever feel you've reached the end of your rope, please feel free to PM either me or .... and here is a link to the listing for suicide prevention hotlines, if you or someone you know ever needs it.
Bright Blessings to you. :28:
~MoonStone
SilverSlayer: Moonstone's words are on the money, listen to her.
I am guessing your are young? So, much goes through the mind at a young age, it makes us stronger and into adults. Stay the course don't be foolish, someone in your future is counting on you being here . . . trust me.
If you feel empty . . . fill that void, take control of this, you cannot be defeated by these pathetic daimons!
Sa Sekhem Sahu
Ankhhape
I am guessing your are young? So, much goes through the mind at a young age, it makes us stronger and into adults. Stay the course don't be foolish, someone in your future is counting on you being here . . . trust me.
If you feel empty . . . fill that void, take control of this, you cannot be defeated by these pathetic daimons!
Sa Sekhem Sahu
Ankhhape