I hate myself
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Azura
I hate myself
I hate myself and I hate my life. I hate living. I don't want to live like this anymore. There is no relief. Sometimes I want to overdose on something. I don't think I would actually bring myself to do it, but sometimes I think about it, or I just want to harm myself.
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Neighbourhood Witch
Please try hard not to feel like that. Life events can change in a moment, and the way you feel now may change completely before you know it. To say you "hate" something, shows you have the capacity for great love.
Look at the positive things in yourself and in your life - recharge yourself from them and don't let the negative aspects of your life take hold. You can do it.
Sending positive thoughts your way.
Look at the positive things in yourself and in your life - recharge yourself from them and don't let the negative aspects of your life take hold. You can do it.
Sending positive thoughts your way.
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Saulamaye
I don't know your situation, but you mentioned overdosing.
I have six years "clean and sober". While I was using ... there were times I wanted to end it so bad. But........ I know what it is like to lose a loved one to suicide. That is absolutely the worst thing I've ever lived through. I couldn't do it to the people that loved me.
Looking back...things were never really as bad as I thought they were.
Even if you don't mean it right now.. start saying affirmations out loud, go look in the mirror and tell yourself good things about you... tell yourself that you love you.
Try to find the beauty in something every 30 minutes or so. Think of your favorite place and in your mind .. go there. Sit real still, focus on your breathing... in through your nose and breath out through your mouth.... then visualise yourself at your favorite place.
There are also help lines and other resources out there to help pull you through this.... just remember .... This too shall pass.
Peaceful Blessings my friend
I have six years "clean and sober". While I was using ... there were times I wanted to end it so bad. But........ I know what it is like to lose a loved one to suicide. That is absolutely the worst thing I've ever lived through. I couldn't do it to the people that loved me.
Looking back...things were never really as bad as I thought they were.
Even if you don't mean it right now.. start saying affirmations out loud, go look in the mirror and tell yourself good things about you... tell yourself that you love you.
Try to find the beauty in something every 30 minutes or so. Think of your favorite place and in your mind .. go there. Sit real still, focus on your breathing... in through your nose and breath out through your mouth.... then visualise yourself at your favorite place.
There are also help lines and other resources out there to help pull you through this.... just remember .... This too shall pass.
Peaceful Blessings my friend
i'm going to tell you not to do it. but whatever your decision is then it's your decision and i'll have to respect that. but, i know what it's like to lose someone to suicide...in fact i found my best friend about five years ago. i don't think he realized what kind of pain he was inflicting on me and my friends and his family. he couldn't handle the life he was living and only thought about the pain he was in and that caused him to lose focus on what his actions would do to others. if you are seriously thinking about it, just think of the pain and sadness that would hover over your family and friends. even if your motive is to get back at someone, yes, they'll probably regret it, but not for a short time, for the rest of their life. just stop and think about the people in your life and try to imagine what it would be like when you leave and how they would be. i've been in your position too. i know what its like to feel THAT sad and THAT alone that you just want everything to go away and everything to end.
again, your decision is your decision, but what i'm telling you is from experience on both sides of suicide. please rethink your actions and take some time to just meditate and find yourself again.
again, your decision is your decision, but what i'm telling you is from experience on both sides of suicide. please rethink your actions and take some time to just meditate and find yourself again.
love always,
emmi
emmi
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One Walker
- Posts: 595
- Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:42 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Minnesota, USA
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CelticMoonGoddess
Azura, no matter how you feel, I've been there.I got divorced and cut my wrists.There is no pain like being rejected and feeling like your worthless.My mother found me in time.She told me when I came back around that if you can find 3 things in your life that you love, then it's worth living.Mine were BBQ spareribs, pookie(my dog) and reading.The list kept going as I went on.I'm not saying that there aren't times that I got low, but My family always stated what do you love the most in this life.After that one time,I've always remembered that.There is so much in this life to love.Once you end it that's it. Why not savor what you love the most.I don't know what is depressing you, but, we are here if you need it.
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Azura
I feel calmed down nnnow,.. but thank you people for your help. I'm constanly in and out of this. Alot of it has to do with anxiety problems... like, social anxiety... it causes alot of problems that branch off of this... i dont like peole looking at me. It makes me feel really uncomfortable and nervous and not good. And I feel I cant get a job because of my anxiety problems. I have messed up alot in college. I've failed classes, I've dropped out of classes, I've left in the middle of classes, because I didnt feel like I could handle feeling like that anymore. I want to be like a normal person, who can ride a train by themself, get a job, not be stressed by school by things other than the academic part, be able to go shopping and feel fine, be able to go in stores, or to a different part of the store without my mommy. ( I have done shopping and walked around by myself without my mom, but I feel so uncomfortable though, and I just want to feel like a normal person.) I have went to make a purchase the other day, and I felt so nervous and uncomfortable that I could barely think clearly enough to count my money right, then the money I recieved back, I could barely put it in my wallet, because I was shaking, and I dropped my change, and I was so embarrassed.
My parents are going to make me get a job this summer, and I would like to make money, but the idea of a job makes me sssso nervous... the interview... actually getting the job and having people depend on me to help them, the pressure... and I feel I wont be able to focus or think clearly or be able to handle people looking at me and I'll probly be shaking from being so nervous....
I'v always had to deal with this. Its so hard to deal with. And I don't know how I will be able to overcome it. I have been to therapy sessions... i have tried an anxiety medication... which I stopped taking because it was useless... nothing seems promising
My parents are going to make me get a job this summer, and I would like to make money, but the idea of a job makes me sssso nervous... the interview... actually getting the job and having people depend on me to help them, the pressure... and I feel I wont be able to focus or think clearly or be able to handle people looking at me and I'll probly be shaking from being so nervous....
I'v always had to deal with this. Its so hard to deal with. And I don't know how I will be able to overcome it. I have been to therapy sessions... i have tried an anxiety medication... which I stopped taking because it was useless... nothing seems promising
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One Walker
- Posts: 595
- Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:42 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Minnesota, USA
Hi Azura!
I'm very glad you're in a calmer state now. This condition doesn't sound very pleasant at all. I'd like to offer some assistance but I also understand it's not necessarily wise at times to get too personal on an open forum. If you feel the desire to explore an avenue through which you might rid yourself of this thing, please feel free to PM me at any time. I may be able to offer you some information which may be of great help.
One Walker.
I'm very glad you're in a calmer state now. This condition doesn't sound very pleasant at all. I'd like to offer some assistance but I also understand it's not necessarily wise at times to get too personal on an open forum. If you feel the desire to explore an avenue through which you might rid yourself of this thing, please feel free to PM me at any time. I may be able to offer you some information which may be of great help.
One Walker.
We have seen what Power does.
We have seen what Power costs.
One is never equal to the other.
We have seen what Power costs.
One is never equal to the other.
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)(Apollo the Good)(
- Banned Member
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- Gender: Female
- Location: Lawrence, KS
- Contact:
remember
Plz no matter what you what you do and what you drag yourself through, plz remember that You Are Beautiful. I do not know you unfortunately, I have never met you...and yet I can say without hesitation that You Are Beautifull. A human life, a soul is the most incredibly BEAUTIFUL and complex blessing given.
Do not look at yourself again and see anything except beauty and perfection. If you do not feel you are beautiful on the outside, realize people who are flawlessly beautiful on the outside are usually broken, frightened and weak on the inside, using their definition of beauty to shield them. Thankfully we that inner beauty is REAL and infinite.
Look at yourself! You are literally pulling yourself through this shit that you are surrounded by and BRIGHT shines your power. Bright shines your strength!! I wish from the depths of my being that I could possess such might. You prove to us that it is ok to go through dark shit but be the light amid the darkness. DO NOT let anything evil/negative get you down. Nothing bad is worth ruining your joy. BE THE LIGHT AMID THE DARKNESS. Shine so brightly that it will blind you to the scary waves that surround u.
Start with that simple phrase: You Are Beautiful. TELL YOURSELF THAT(even if for some weird reason you don't believe it at first). TELL OTHERS THAT. Shine brightly and share the light. Focus on the good things around u and you will be surprised at the rate they grow.
And most of all, Azura, I LOVE YOU. YOU. ARE. LOVED. Because you are worth that... and much more.
Brightest of Blessings to You.
Do not look at yourself again and see anything except beauty and perfection. If you do not feel you are beautiful on the outside, realize people who are flawlessly beautiful on the outside are usually broken, frightened and weak on the inside, using their definition of beauty to shield them. Thankfully we that inner beauty is REAL and infinite.
Look at yourself! You are literally pulling yourself through this shit that you are surrounded by and BRIGHT shines your power. Bright shines your strength!! I wish from the depths of my being that I could possess such might. You prove to us that it is ok to go through dark shit but be the light amid the darkness. DO NOT let anything evil/negative get you down. Nothing bad is worth ruining your joy. BE THE LIGHT AMID THE DARKNESS. Shine so brightly that it will blind you to the scary waves that surround u.
Start with that simple phrase: You Are Beautiful. TELL YOURSELF THAT(even if for some weird reason you don't believe it at first). TELL OTHERS THAT. Shine brightly and share the light. Focus on the good things around u and you will be surprised at the rate they grow.
And most of all, Azura, I LOVE YOU. YOU. ARE. LOVED. Because you are worth that... and much more.
Brightest of Blessings to You.
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truthseeker2
wow this is so like me , but i dont get scared around people i just get a sick feeling in my gut like i wanna get outta there as soon as possible,go to my room lock the door and chill,regarding people looking at you nearly eveytime it happens like alot of people stare at me i trip and they fucikn laugh,now i dont trip anymore i take a deep breath look up and walk without looking at anyone,then they give the look like who the hell does he think he is. i dropped out of school 11th grADE. so no education no job no oppurtunities.im waiting for death like someone waits for a loved one, i think your situation is way better than mineAzura wrote:I feel calmed down nnnow,.. but thank you people for your help. I'm constanly in and out of this. Alot of it has to do with anxiety problems... like, social anxiety... it causes alot of problems that branch off of this... i dont like peole looking at me. It makes me feel really uncomfortable and nervous and not good. And I feel I cant get a job because of my anxiety problems. I have messed up alot in college. I've failed classes, I've dropped out of classes, I've left in the middle of classes, because I didnt feel like I could handle feeling like that anymore. I want to be like a normal person, who can ride a train by themself, get a job, not be stressed by school by things other than the academic part, be able to go shopping and feel fine, be able to go in stores, or to a different part of the store without my mommy. ( I have done shopping and walked around by myself without my mom, but I feel so uncomfortable though, and I just want to feel like a normal person.) I have went to make a purchase the other day, and I felt so nervous and uncomfortable that I could barely think clearly enough to count my money right, then the money I recieved back, I could barely put it in my wallet, because I was shaking, and I dropped my change, and I was so embarrassed.
My parents are going to make me get a job this summer, and I would like to make money, but the idea of a job makes me sssso nervous... the interview... actually getting the job and having people depend on me to help them, the pressure... and I feel I wont be able to focus or think clearly or be able to handle people looking at me and I'll probly be shaking from being so nervous....
I'v always had to deal with this. Its so hard to deal with. And I don't know how I will be able to overcome it. I have been to therapy sessions... i have tried an anxiety medication... which I stopped taking because it was useless... nothing seems promising
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Moon_Stone
- Posts: 1117
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- Gender: Female
- Location: Where the Wild Things are
- Contact:
Hi Azura and Truthseeker.
I understand anxiety and how crippling it can be. My closest friend all through school had (and still has) a tremendous anxiety disorder. On and off of a myriad of different medications, it's been the strategy that has brought her the most control over her anxiety, she says.
She shared the coping techniques that she has found invaluable with me in an effort to help me to understand-- though I can tell you that truly no one understands anxiety unless they experience it themselves. Finding an ally that you can confide in and rely on (or even a good support forum) will take you very far in your journey recovering from this debilitating issue.
If you are not already familiar with DBT and distress tolerance, (and even if you are)... please take a look at this website for some techniques you can use to combat your anxiety. Browse around- there is a lot of information there.
DBT Self-Help
Lastly, remember that you are not alone-- there are many people in the world who are suffering with a similar affliction. Anxiety does not have to take control of you... you can ultimately take control of it. Persevere.
Bright, healing blessings to you.
~MoonStone
I understand anxiety and how crippling it can be. My closest friend all through school had (and still has) a tremendous anxiety disorder. On and off of a myriad of different medications, it's been the strategy that has brought her the most control over her anxiety, she says.
She shared the coping techniques that she has found invaluable with me in an effort to help me to understand-- though I can tell you that truly no one understands anxiety unless they experience it themselves. Finding an ally that you can confide in and rely on (or even a good support forum) will take you very far in your journey recovering from this debilitating issue.
If you are not already familiar with DBT and distress tolerance, (and even if you are)... please take a look at this website for some techniques you can use to combat your anxiety. Browse around- there is a lot of information there.
DBT Self-Help
Lastly, remember that you are not alone-- there are many people in the world who are suffering with a similar affliction. Anxiety does not have to take control of you... you can ultimately take control of it. Persevere.
Bright, healing blessings to you.
~MoonStone