Well, this is strange...

Post by **Hubertus** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:47 am

Greetings everyone;

I am in my school's production of Les Miserables, and in this production I met a guy. Now, a little bit about this guy. Last year he was on class afloat, so I did not meet him then like I usually would have, so I met him at auditions. I had heard gossip about him from the director, so I knew that he was gay, had a boyfriend in a different school, and sounded like a great guy. Well, time passed, we became friends, and then things became...difficult. After one drama class, he suddenly said "I love you! In a strictly platonic way, of course" (That, by the way, means that he really likes me as a friend, not in a sexual way) So, I thought nothing of it, seeing as he has a boyfriend and I have no problem with homosexual people. However, since that day, he has said he loves me and has called me cute multiple times more, but forgot the platonic part. he has also hugged me a few times, and annoyingly slapped my butt twice. I've also learned that he is having problems with his boyfriend. Now, he's invited a few members of the cast (Me, him, another guy who is secretly gay(The reason I know is I have good ears), a girl who knows everything about everybody and doesn't judge anything, and a mormon girl) to a movie. Now, I'm wondering if it really is still platonic or not. Anybody have any insight on the situation?

(By the way, I am not gay. Mind you, I've never had a romantic relationship in my life, but I don't think I'm gay)

Post by **Godsmack** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:56 am

He probably has a crush on you, lol. By the way, the slap on the butt is sexual harassment, so I don't quite agree with how he is expressing his 'love'. You should have a talk with him and tell him how you feel... let him down easy, lol. Not only that, if he is doing this without informing his boyfriend, that is soooo wrong. Unless they are in an open relationship or something, but even then, I'm sure communication is vital. I'm pretty sure he just has a crush on you. *shrugs*

Post by **Hubertus** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:01 am

Sigh...That's going to be an awkward conversation...

Tom: I'm not gay, sorry.
Him: OH ya? Then why can you flawlessly name any colour, go to operas, sing in musicals, laugh at all my jokes, and have never had a girlfriend?
Tom: That's because....well....Ok, you have me there, but I'm still not gay.

Post by **JBRaven** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:51 pm

Are the gestures he is making making you unconfortable, if so tell him to stop. it is not his concern if you are or aren't gay because either way you are not intrested in him.

Post by **reikihealer83** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 10:20 pm

Hubertus,

This is quite a predicament you are in. Tell the person you are not interested in the nicest way you can. Also, if he slaps your butt again kindly tell him that you do not appreciate his hands on you without your permission.

I do have a question and I hope I am not stepping over a line here but how do you know for definate that you are not attracted to men given what you mentioned earlier? I have know doubt you know yourself but I will be honest and said the same thing for a long time. After some introspection I realized who I was (I am Bi) and became very comfortable with that. I would never presume to say I know your life as I don't and just because you like what you like does not mean your gay (stereotypes are horrible as you know).

I have gotten away from myself here but the point is, tell this boy you are not comfortable and that he needs to respect that. I hope I did not cross a line with my previous paragraph but I felt it beared being said after looking through your previous posts on this particular thread.

If I did overstep please let me know and I apologize in advance.

Post by **Hubertus** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 11:52 pm

No, you did not overstep any boundaries. It was something that I should have provided more information on.

How can I be sure I am not gay? How can anybody be sure they are not gay? Well, I suppose you could experiment with heterosexual and homosexual relationships and see what happens...But, I don't really approve of relationships without purpose. I like to solve things with logic. So, I have created some logical reasonings that tell me that I am not gay.

Let's separate things into 4 categories.

Homosexual:0.5+0.5+1=2.0
Hetrosexual:0.5+1.0+0.5=2.0
Bisexual:0.5+0.5+0.5=1.5
Asexual:1.0+0.5+0.5=2.0

Now, I have never had a sexual or romantic relationship with any human being. +1 to Asexuality because that supports no relationships, +0.5 to others because it could be possible I haven't met anybody.

I am male. Because science states that males are logically compatible with females, we will give heterosexual 1 point. However, because science likes to be wrong (Physics) we'll give 0.5 to the others.

I strike some people as gay, because I appreciate good music, fine food, and can identify colours and tastes very well (The difference between poppy red and red apple). So, I guess we'll give homosexuality a point. However, because I don't think you need to be gay to appreciate the difference in colour, everybody else gets 0.5.

Right now I'm wondering how futile this chart really is.

As we can see, our little chart isn't telling us much. So, without logic, I honestly say that I have no proof saying I'm not gay. However, it is easier to say that I'm not gay than saying that I'm homosexual, bisexual, or asexual.

Well, I've just realised I could really be anything...That was a load of typing for little purpose...

Post by **JBRaven** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 12:48 am

bisexuality should be given a +1.0 because it is awesome.

Here is a great question that will tell you if you are gay (though you don't have to post the respones.) Do you find other men attractive to the point you could have a sexual relationship with them? How about girls?

Post by **Hubertus** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 12:50 am

JBRaven wrote:bisexuality should be given a +1.0 because it is awesome.

Here is a great question that will tell you if you are gay (though you don't have to post the respones.) Do you find other men attractive to the point you could have a sexual relationship with them? How about girls?

Well, there is the problem. I suppose the answer to that question is no on both counts.

Post by **Y0m** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:50 am

Here is something from left field. And it depends on what you belive spiritually.

But what if you have advanced in your past life or lives to transcend the sexual passions and this is playing out to your feelings in this life.

But don't mind me, I'm just crazy Y0m

Much love,
Y0m

Post by **Earth Ritual** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 10:21 am

Hubertus,

You remind me a friend I had when I was 16. He was a very sensitive Jewish fellow and very beautiful. He had a girlfriend but I was convinced he was gay. I inquired about his sexuality because I wanted some but when he explained he wasn't I let it go. I would never disrespect him by putting my hands on him without his permission. By the way that's an early warning sign of a creepy old man to be lol.

I had absolutely no concept of a guy honoring his feminine nature and not being gay. It took at least two other friendships with really attractive straight men to learn that. It took even more experiences to learn to come from my heart chakra with other men and turn off the constant xxx stream in my head. My friend was very compassionate and honest with me even though I didn't quite get it because of my fixed point of view. He was also firm and knew exactly what he wanted in our friendship.

Post by **Airlight** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:27 pm

Me and a few of our friends came up with a name for men who express their feminine side and are straight. We call them Lesbians...as they know a lot about females but are straight.

I would tell your friend to not do those things anymore and that you are asexual...or not looking at both sexes and don't consider yourself to like women or men. Hopefully he will understand, but hey...maybe sometime later you will be pansexual..a person who does not care who they are, that loves all sexes even if a man became a woman or a woman became a man.

Post by **JBRaven** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:55 pm

Does putting a name on your sexuality mean that much to you? Does it matter? Personally I have labeled mine because everyone else labeled it such. I more see my self as a being. If I woke up in the morning and wanted to be with a goat, tree, boy or girl I would. Trust in your self and you will find answers if you seek them.

Post by **reikihealer83** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 9:59 pm

Hubertus,

Something to think about and meditate on.

"Search first within yourself and know that you are perfect in the eyes of the divine"

What I mean by this is, the God/Goddess love you and know you from the inside out so if you do not know or want to label yourself, don't. Love yourself and be who you are, no matter who that is because that person is beautiful.

Post by **Godsmack** » Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:42 am

Lots of the people on here do have points. Sexuality is sacred. You shouldn't worry about who you are just yet. Think about it a bit. You will find out who you are eventually, there is no rush. Make sure you let the guy down easy.
Just because you have many feminine qualities, it doesn't make you gay. There are guys out there who are extremely masculine, but are still gay. Once again, do not worry about it. You don't have to prove your sexuality to anyone. Your sexuality is your business, no one else should be inquiring about it.

Post by **Hubertus** » Sun Mar 14, 2010 1:37 am

Crap.....I tried telling him off and that I'm not gay. It didn't work. Now he thinks I really am gay! I suck at human conversation...