Personal Space Rant

[Lily Cantodea]

Seriously, do members of my own species (to which I am most of the time ashamed to admit I belong) not understand the concept of personal space? This bothers me so much.

Stop getting up in my face - if I wanted to know what you had for lunch, I would have asked.

Don't get within three inches of me unless you want a kick to the stomach. Seriously, back the hell off.

When I take a step back, I do it for a reason, that reason NOT being for you to follow the friggin' leader.

DO NOT TOUCH ME, I HATE IT.

Leave me the hell alone when I have my iPod on. I have my iPod on because I don't want to talk to anyone and I wish to ignore the outside world, kthx, so quit trying to talk to me and don't get pissed off when I don't answer.

Don't try to get my attention by saying, "Hey, you girl, come here." I'm not a dog. I don't respond to demands. If you want to get my attention, call me by name, which oddly enough, is NOT "you girl."

Do NOT spray perfume in my face whenever I happen to browse around the cosmetic counter. Spraying it in my face will only make me hate you and I will refuse to buy it. I may as well put my own perfume in my purse and spray it in the perfume lady's face to give her a taste of her own medicine.

If you continue to be all up in my personal space - 3 friggin' inches is all I ask - I will hit you with a clue-by-four so hard it'll make your grandmother's head spin.

/rant