This is going to be a long winded kind of scattered post but I've looked everywhere in and out of myself to handle this and I feel out of control. I've been realing from a bad emotional experience for nearly a year and I've gone through phases of being ok but whenever I get reminders it becomes impossible for me to cope with my feelings. I feel constantly paranoid about when I'm going to recieve these reminders and if I see the person involved I think I'll just break down. I've practiced magick for a while and it feels quite natural to me so I'm in no way coming here and looking for a quick fix. I've been seeing a therapist about some emotional problems which has helped alot but again when I have these reminders I feel numb to all of the personal growth and change I've gone through and it's like I'm back where I was a year ago. I've been struggling to sleep, when I sleep I dream about it, when I wake up I feel depressed and ill and I feel out of control of my own mind. To cut to it, I think I still have attatchments and I'm not sure how to get past this. I feel like I'm too emotional, if a friend is hurting badly I genuinely feel it as if it were happening to me, I guess that being so in touch with emotions can be a good thing but I find it crippling and I want out of it. I want to gain control over my mind and my body again and I can't seem to do it, I don't want to let one event ruin my whole life.
Over this time I've done some cleansing rituals with white candles, salt, sage and just tried to rid myself of the negative energy both magically and mentally but it still feels raw. I'm struggling to concentrate on even meditations because of all this crap that I'm supressing I can't let go. I'm thinking about performing a more intense ritual to help me out further but I think because the feelings scare me I struggle to address them. I'd find it really helpful if people could help with where to start or any particular ingredients or colours are helpful because I use mostly candle and herbal magick. I'm not sure the best route to go, I want to break my emotional attatments to this situation, I want to protect myself from stumbling across painful memories so I can be comfortable where I live and work and I want to be strong enough to cope with this and whatever the next thing may be. So if anyone has any insight besides "get over it" I'd really appreciate it... please be nice I get so nervous posting here so I'll probably regret it. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Handling emotions. Breaking attatchments.
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Re: Handling emotions. Breaking attatchments.
Secret wrote:This is going to be a long winded kind of scattered post but I've looked everywhere in and out of myself to handle this and I feel out of control. I've been realing from a bad emotional experience for nearly a year and I've gone through phases of being ok but whenever I get reminders it becomes impossible for me to cope with my feelings. I feel constantly paranoid about when I'm going to recieve these reminders and if I see the person involved I think I'll just break down. I've practiced magick for a while and it feels quite natural to me so I'm in no way coming here and looking for a quick fix. I've been seeing a therapist about some emotional problems which has helped alot but again when I have these reminders I feel numb to all of the personal growth and change I've gone through and it's like I'm back where I was a year ago. I've been struggling to sleep, when I sleep I dream about it, when I wake up I feel depressed and ill and I feel out of control of my own mind. To cut to it, I think I still have attatchments and I'm not sure how to get past this. I feel like I'm too emotional, if a friend is hurting badly I genuinely feel it as if it were happening to me, I guess that being so in touch with emotions can be a good thing but I find it crippling and I want out of it. I want to gain control over my mind and my body again and I can't seem to do it, I don't want to let one event ruin my whole life.
Over this time I've done some cleansing rituals with white candles, salt, sage and just tried to rid myself of the negative energy both magically and mentally but it still feels raw. I'm struggling to concentrate on even meditations because of all this crap that I'm supressing I can't let go. I'm thinking about performing a more intense ritual to help me out further but I think because the feelings scare me I struggle to address them. I'd find it really helpful if people could help with where to start or any particular ingredients or colours are helpful because I use mostly candle and herbal magick. I'm not sure the best route to go, I want to break my emotional attatments to this situation, I want to protect myself from stumbling across painful memories so I can be comfortable where I live and work and I want to be strong enough to cope with this and whatever the next thing may be. So if anyone has any insight besides "get over it" I'd really appreciate it... please be nice I get so nervous posting here so I'll probably regret it. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
You need to do a cord cutting in a very intense way. You need to literally SEVER your energetic connection with the person/people that contributed to this state of distress in your life. Create two index cards. One will have written on it your personal likes and dislikes, things that make you unique, things you want in life. The other will be all about the other person, how they make you feel, what you miss about them, etc. Tie the two cards together with a ribbon repeating, "What has been is over, what is yet to be has not yet manifest." When the cards are tied, use scissors to chop everything to bits, including the ribbon. Either burn or bury the remnants.
)O( May the Cosmica known unto us by millions of names bless you with the ecstasy of Her Bliss. Namaste. )O(
One time I had a boyfriend that literally broke my heart and toke all my sanity with him. So I formed a spell to forgive hime, rather than forget anything, so in case he came back to me, asking for forgiveness, I wouldn't hate him or push him away. (and he came back, like i thought he would, and now we're married) I think it will help, because it banishes any negativity you feel toward the situation to let you look at it as a learning experience.
Spell to forgive, not forget
You will need:
1 scrap of paper
1 washable black marker (crayola or roseart)
1 jar with lid, filled with salt water
sprig of rosemary
On the piece of paper, write the persons name or the situation you wish to cope with. Say " (name) I release all negative ties that you have on me. May the negative be banished, leaving only the memories of good times."
Put the piece of paper in the jar with the water.
say "Like this paper, I remove my hardest emotional obstacle, leaving my heart open to accept all the positive i deserve"
Hold the sprig of rosemary and pluck of 13 leaves, one for each good moment that you wish to remember. Put these in the water one at a time while saying the good moment aloud.
when done, put the top on the bottle and leave it somewhere hidden until the next morning. The name should be washed off the paper. Take the water to running water, like a stream or the ocean, or just your toilet if you have nothing else.
Its a strong spell and it helped me a lot when I couldn't cope. Afterward I felt lighter, cleansed and happy. I hope that this works for you, if you try it.
Spell to forgive, not forget
You will need:
1 scrap of paper
1 washable black marker (crayola or roseart)
1 jar with lid, filled with salt water
sprig of rosemary
On the piece of paper, write the persons name or the situation you wish to cope with. Say " (name) I release all negative ties that you have on me. May the negative be banished, leaving only the memories of good times."
Put the piece of paper in the jar with the water.
say "Like this paper, I remove my hardest emotional obstacle, leaving my heart open to accept all the positive i deserve"
Hold the sprig of rosemary and pluck of 13 leaves, one for each good moment that you wish to remember. Put these in the water one at a time while saying the good moment aloud.
when done, put the top on the bottle and leave it somewhere hidden until the next morning. The name should be washed off the paper. Take the water to running water, like a stream or the ocean, or just your toilet if you have nothing else.
Its a strong spell and it helped me a lot when I couldn't cope. Afterward I felt lighter, cleansed and happy. I hope that this works for you, if you try it.
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Secret
Thanks so much. Both really interesting and inspirational ideas, that's what I needed, some inspiration. I'll take both into consideration. I guess I've been avoiding addressing this because it's hard to face these things but I think I need to to be able to be successful in breaking my attatchments. This may sound silly but in a way I find good memories as hard to deal with and feeling attatched to that is driving me just as crazy so I wanna become able to break emotional ties completely.
Thanks you both your thoughts it's been really helpful I'll be using some of them when I plan things out properly. Now the moon's waning I'm gonna focus on this.
Thanks you both your thoughts it's been really helpful I'll be using some of them when I plan things out properly. Now the moon's waning I'm gonna focus on this.
I definately understand. When someone hurts you, its hard to think about the situation at all. I have another spell, that might be more helpful.
The Severing spell
to break with the past, and destroy the power that memories of the past have over you.
You will need:
one charcoal disk in a fireproof dish
one black candle, 6-8"
matches or a lighter
one teaspoon of myrrh
one 9" length of black cord
one fireproof dish
one pinch saffron
Cast on the dark or waning moon
1. Cast your circle
2. Light the charcoal disk, and then the candle, saying:
by this token I am freed and come toward the light
3. Sprinkle the myrrh onto the charcoal
4. Tie a knot toward one end of the cord: this represents the memories you wish to leave behind. Tie another knot toward the other end of the cord: This represents a future free from the feelings that are keeping you in the past.
5. Holding the 'past' knot in your left hand and the 'future' knot in your right, place the cord over the flame, and allow it to burn through. Burn the 'past' knot entirely, placing it in the fireproof dish.
6. Place the saffron on the charcoal, and cense the knot that represents the future. Keep this in a safe place.
Perhaps this is more along the lines of what you were looking for. I hope this helps and best of luck to you.
The Severing spell
to break with the past, and destroy the power that memories of the past have over you.
You will need:
one charcoal disk in a fireproof dish
one black candle, 6-8"
matches or a lighter
one teaspoon of myrrh
one 9" length of black cord
one fireproof dish
one pinch saffron
Cast on the dark or waning moon
1. Cast your circle
2. Light the charcoal disk, and then the candle, saying:
by this token I am freed and come toward the light
3. Sprinkle the myrrh onto the charcoal
4. Tie a knot toward one end of the cord: this represents the memories you wish to leave behind. Tie another knot toward the other end of the cord: This represents a future free from the feelings that are keeping you in the past.
5. Holding the 'past' knot in your left hand and the 'future' knot in your right, place the cord over the flame, and allow it to burn through. Burn the 'past' knot entirely, placing it in the fireproof dish.
6. Place the saffron on the charcoal, and cense the knot that represents the future. Keep this in a safe place.
Perhaps this is more along the lines of what you were looking for. I hope this helps and best of luck to you.
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Secret
Aw thanks again I like the look of that spell. I just had a nasty reminder of the situation yesterday and this reminder looks like it's gonna linger. So today I was planning on starting this but I've not been in the best emotional state the last couple of days so I'm just gonna pull myself together first.
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elouise
secret if you are taking so long to release/heal from something, usually it means that old emotional traumas have been triggered. trying to cut this particular person off isn't going to totally fix the prob. if you don't look at the underlying wounds as well. are you still working with the therapist? have you dug into the emotional attachment lying below this b/c that's where your answers will be found. i believe the really painful stuff happens to help us grow & find our own empowerment & if we don't grow we'll repeat the pattern. also don't try to 'handle' your emotions as they aren't meant to be controlled. think of it as riding a wave in the ocean & let the emotions flow/surrender. that way the pain can also find a healthy release. once you make peace with all these emotions you'll start to find some inner-peace. promise xx
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Secret
I didn't really mean handle as in control I meant more accept and not try to get rid of them in ways that I've learnt to do that are bad for me basically through eating disorders. I'm still working with my therapist but only have 3 more sessions left. I've touched on this subject although it's really hard when I try to talk about it I start to breakdown, I'm starting to right now actually, urgh. I hear what you're saying though and funnily enough I do feel more at peace with how I'm feeling than I have for a while which I guess just shows how messed up I was. I hate myself for how someone hurt me and I still feel attatched to that person even though they're out of my life. It's because of feeling attatched still that I don't feel empowered because I'm not, I'm physically and mentally weakened. I really do try and I don't want to stop trying but I can't get any distance.