the deamons within us

[_Kaimira_]

hi there,

this hard to write this but i am going for it. my friend anne has an austic, add, ocd, and adhd. she suffers from major depression and now she's in the hospital and we have to take care of her son. I am 5 months pregnant and today i grounded him for saying dirty words and he got mad called me a bitch and punched me in the face. dorian pulled him off of me. he is a big kid he's 16 but acts like he's 12. he's been living here 3 weeks now and i have to keep and arms length away from him because he punches and kicks you. I am not sure what to do with him let alone control him. pease help i am my wits end.

[Melindrose]

Damn, just damn, you have my prayers um... I hate to say this because I know it won't work; I would beat his ass were that my kid. Heck my dad would have handed me my ass if I ever did that to my mom, *shudders* and I don't want to think what my mom would have done. Maybe use some aroma therapy to calm the kid down, or talk to his school get him in some sort of counseling.

[Shinitenshi]

Most Autistic children have very little control over what they are doing, add ADHD to the mix and you get a bad combination. He should be on medication as well as therapy, physical punishment is not going to help. Personally if you feel like you are in danger then I would get out. I understand wanting to help a friend but if you may not be able to help him, it takes a lot of patience, caring, understanding and support to take care of children with disabilities.

[luckimmortal]

Damn, just damn, you have my prayers um... I hate to say this because I know it won't work; I would beat his ass were that my kid. Heck my dad would have handed me my ass if I ever did that to my mom, *shudders*.

i was going to suggest this, just didnt wanna be the first one lol...
my grandmother has beaten not only all of er grandkids and and kids. shes beaten other kids in public, like grocery stores , in front of their parents...::shruggs::,,, i mean yea we all turned out nuts but like... we never hit her.lol hope that helps

[arpgme]

hi there,

this hard to write this but i am going for it. my friend anne has an austic, add, ocd, and adhd. she suffers from major depression and now she's in the hospital and we have to take care of her son. I am 5 months pregnant and today i grounded him for saying dirty words and he got mad called me a bitch and punched me in the face. dorian pulled him off of me. he is a big kid he's 16 but acts like he's 12. he's been living here 3 weeks now and i have to keep and arms length away from him because he punches and kicks you. I am not sure what to do with him let alone control him. pease help i am my wits end.

Tell him that he's living with you so he'll follow your rules. Tell him that if he ever physically touches you again, you'll call the cops on him and have him taken away. If he wan't to act like that he can be sent to DYFS and we'll see how those parents will treat him.

[JBRaven]

What the hell, beat the metally handicap child? WTF is wrong with you all? He has autism. You can't treat him like you would a normal 16 year old.

Kaimira, what does his mother normally do? Children with autism like routine, are you following his normal day? Is there no one else there to help in his family? He should have a doctor, call and ask the doctor if there are any support for people who have temp. custody of special needs children. ANd why do you HAVE to watch her child? Are you bound by law to do so. Know your limits, he could really hurt you and your unborn child.

[luckimmortal]

yup, sure did miss that part...(maybe i was a little thrown off by the "demons within us" thread title?). I wouldnt call something like autism an inner demon.....
hmmm i suggest enrolling him in some boxing classes then...hike through the woods? nature meditations? yoga????? theres also books about this stuff somewhere im sure.. now, hope that helps

[Nyxannwn]

yup, sure did miss that part...(maybe i was a little thrown off by the "demons within us" thread title?). I wouldnt call something like autism an inner demon.....
hmmm i suggest enrolling him in some boxing classes then...hike through the woods? nature meditations? yoga????? theres also books about this stuff somewhere im sure.. now, hope that helps

*thumbs up*

[Artie]

I'm with JBRaven on this one... I don't know if you all just missed the part where she metioned the child is AUTISTIC, but if you didn't miss that part, you should all be ashamed of yourselves. You should all know that violence doesn't solve anything... those of you who were unfortunately beaten as children should know that. It especially doesn't solve anything when you're dealing with a mentally disabled child...in fact that is downright apalling. This is quite surprising and disturbing advice coming out of a group of people who follow a generally peaceful religion.

Autistic children need routine, and a supportive environment. I'm so sorry he attacked you like that.. but clearly there is something wrong with how he is being raised if he lashes out in that manner. My god mother has an autistic nephew, and he needs routine in everything he does. If he doesn't follow routine, he throws tantrums and gets violent as well (he is also 16). Grounding this child will do nothing, unfortunately. Their brains are not wired to understand social taboos and a standard sense of "right and wrong".


Blessings, and my thoughts are with you,
~*~Nix~*~

I have to disagree with part of this. Of course he's autistic, and you shouldn't hit him, but my mom used to beat the crap out of me when I was younger and it worked. It's called discipline, and though he's autistic and it's wrong because of that, I can see where they're coming from. As you see, most people missed that part, as did I when I read it the first time through. They weren't saying "SMACK HIM UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH A STICK!" they were implying standard disciplinary methods. With all due respect, of course.

[Melindrose]

Ok yes he's autistic, My sister's fiance has an autistic son, who is three, and he doesn't hit, at 16 the kid needs stricter discipline than go sit in your room, and no tv, internet, phone, or friends for a month. Autism doesn't prevent the child from understanding what right and wrong is, and as I said it wouldn't work any way. but no body was ever worse off for having a warmed butt.

[luckimmortal]

ditto to artie and Melin, thats all i was saying and "lol ing" about... apparently scientist are saying it acually works now... go figure..
funny because im 24 and i still twitch then crindge when my dad says my name real loud.. or maye i do it the other way, ha but still i love him for it, though it was a little excessive were building a better realtionship after all these years and forgiving each other (me for being nuts and him for the belt)..

No one should forget the love out of a dicipline like "spanking or "beating" as i call it because if my parents didnt find an object, they would have missed my a$$ swinging their hands around.. but now that im older i see it was all out of love,

the right way is supposed to be done when youve already calmd down about the situation, not out of anger but...everybody has their own ways i dont think theres a right or wrong really, depends on the household....
theres my last 2 cents.

[JBRaven]

Nyxannwn, you should not have done that. You had a very good post that was not mean.

I did pop my child's arse when she was a bit younger, but I came to soon understand that how stupid it was. How can I tell my child not to hit others and then hit her. I want her to listen to me out of love and respect; not out of fear. No matter if you believe hitting a child is right or wrong, I hope it can be agreed upon a child with autism can not be held to the same standard as "normal" children.


luckimmortal- please lead me to this site or book or study that says hitting your child is good for them ( that does not use the bible as support).

A person should not be hit in the head, slapped, have the crap knocked out of them. If it is abuse to an adult then it is abuse to a child. What makes a child less than?

[luckimmortal]

luckimmortal- please lead me to this site or book or study that says hitting your child is good for them ( that does not use the bible as support).

It was something i saw on the news a very long time ago, However i just googled and a bunch of stuff came up.

[JBRaven]

I googled it and I am not really seeing it. the best argument to hitting your child is: Some parents feel that at a certain age, usually when a child is a toddler and cannot understand logic and reasoning, the only way to prevent a child from performing a negative behavior is to spank them, so the child realizes beyond the shadow of a doubt that what they did was wrong or unacceptable (http://www.essortment.com/argument-span ... 50542.html)


Though I think if you raise your voice and stop the behavior it does the same thing. Should I punch you just because I am too lazy to teach you?

[_Kaimira_]

hi everyone,

I went and did some reading on the net about his condition and tips. what i relased when he gets mad you say no hitting, it's like a verbal que. i tried it and it worked, thank goddess it worked. i try to keep him busy with a new game i baught him. now i have some peace and quiet. but i can use it tool if he gets out of hand.

he's 5 11 and 250 lbs he's a big boy it's easy to get overpowered i am only 5 3 120 lbs I had nightmares about him beating me up. i am a little scared because i'm pregnant. he came up behind me and hugged me and he said he was sorry. he's learning and i am learning too, it's a hard process to learn. I can't really put him over my knee and spank his ass, it would only make more angery. i would be in the hospital too if i was alone and dorian not there to protect me. it's no wonder the mother is in the hospital. he does take a lot of medication for his problems and ticks.

his name is duncan, it's a nice name when i am cooking dinner he sneaks up behind me and smacks my ass. not a good idea buddy. he likes my cooking at least he had to helpings of food.