I have written before about someone who I believe to be my soulmate. He really was the one person in my entire life with whom I had this amazing connection. We were together off and on for a very long time. We could never be together, but could never part.
About a year ago, something started to go wrong. I have thought and thought about this and I think it came to a point where he was ready to make a move to be a very real presence in my life and family, and for a number of reasons, I was not ready to make that kind of commitment. I know he sensed my reluctance and pulling back. Things got more and more tense.
Then, in the spring, it got really bad. One night I finally melted down and was very honest about why I had been pulling back. The reasons weren't easy to accept, but in a way, they were not personal. I tried to explain that it was just a really bad set of circumstances- actually ones that we had been faced with all along.
It was like for so many years, we both knew we were the one for each other, but our lifestyles and cultures were just polar opposite. On the soul level, we were meant to be but our physical selves and environments got in the way. I even wondered one time if we weren't the victims of negative energy from those that would have a vested interest in keeping us apart or even a sort of "thoughtform" created out of our own subconscious fears about making a commitment once and or all. I have to add that this last time, it was as if we were sooooo close, but then bam, something else happened that got in the way of us moving forward. hmmmm.
Anyway, he became very upset, taking it as a rejection and not really seeing it from my perspective. We continued a strained relationship for a few months and then about a month ago, he got really ugly and we have not spoken since. He said some things that were just unforgivable.
Tomorrow is/was a special day of sorts for us, lots of memories, so that is what prompted me to post. I guess it just wasn't meant to be in this lifetime or maybe ever. Just feeling a bit nostalgic and sad, but still so fortunate to have had that amazing love.
So, I guess I am kind of just wistfully venting and maybe asking for any ideas....
Lost Soulmate
Re: Lost Soulmate
Hi Marigold, sorry I've just seen this. I hope the day went past ok and you coped. Sometimes we have unfinished business with old soul mates from different lives and those unresolved issuses appear in this life and we aren't sure why we feel a certain way towards someone. You should write your feelings in a letter, then if possible go outside and burn the letter to release the ties.
Sometimes things aren't meant to be, but we learn from them even if the lesson isn't clear at first.
x
Sometimes things aren't meant to be, but we learn from them even if the lesson isn't clear at first.
x
My soul is awakened, my spirit is soaring. And carried aloft on the wings of the breeze. For above and around me the wild wind is roaring. Arousing to rapture the earth and the seas.
Re: Lost Soulmate
Hi Cora,
Thank you for taking the time to reply. Actually, the day went off fine. We did exchange some pleasantries so that was good. I never like to leave bad feelings or negativity. I will try the letter at some point, but right now I am not quite ready to make it final. In all parts of my life, I tend to hold out hope until it is simply an impossibility.
Yes, so many people have been in my life that have contributed in some way and hopefully, I have contributed to their lives as well. Even though like everyone, there have been disappointments, but there have also been such magickal moments.
I think we have such a blessing for being able to recognize and understand those elements that are made out of stardust and magick. What an unfortunate existence for those who just see things in the here and now.
Well, time will tell about what happens; however, this time I do think it is beyond repair, at least in this lifetime. Unless he claims momentary insanity (that lasted a year) it is going to be very hard to get past the just downright cruel things that he said. It isn't a bad thing really, because I think I needed to see this side of him as well.
Anyway, thanks again.
Marigold
Thank you for taking the time to reply. Actually, the day went off fine. We did exchange some pleasantries so that was good. I never like to leave bad feelings or negativity. I will try the letter at some point, but right now I am not quite ready to make it final. In all parts of my life, I tend to hold out hope until it is simply an impossibility.
Yes, so many people have been in my life that have contributed in some way and hopefully, I have contributed to their lives as well. Even though like everyone, there have been disappointments, but there have also been such magickal moments.
I think we have such a blessing for being able to recognize and understand those elements that are made out of stardust and magick. What an unfortunate existence for those who just see things in the here and now.
Well, time will tell about what happens; however, this time I do think it is beyond repair, at least in this lifetime. Unless he claims momentary insanity (that lasted a year) it is going to be very hard to get past the just downright cruel things that he said. It isn't a bad thing really, because I think I needed to see this side of him as well.
Anyway, thanks again.
Marigold