New to Wicca: How do I tell Mom?

[Teapot101]

So, I'm Rachel and I'm kinda new to wicca, I've been researching it for a year now and I'm really interested. But my mom kinda thinks it's irrational. I really like it, so I was curious as to how should i tell my mom this is really what I want, and some more details on wicca. Maybe someone I could email or IM about it would be nice.

Thanks, Rachel

[Firebird]

Greetings Tea, I was very young when I realized this is the path I wanted, but had a terrible time getting info in that day and age. There is an awful lot of info on this forum and help is all over the place. The way you present this to you Mom is important, don't cram it down her throat, a gentle approach would be best. you can message me if you like.
Blessings, Firebird

[Kassandra]

Hi Rachel. Well "irrational" is a whole heck of a lot better than other reactions I've heard other peoples' family members have! hahaha In fact, that's one of the mildest ones yet. You've got it made. At least she hasn't called a priest to your house to have you exorcised! I'm not kidding, unfortunately. Most people, like people in America's Bible Belt area, are up against things like this: Witchcraft is Evil! Be thankful for the little things. Sounds like mom is just a healthy skeptic, that's all. Nothing wrong with that.


EUTM a Good Resource

Anyway, as firebirdflys says, there's a lot of resources on this board, so best thing to do is find what interests you and dive in and start talking about it. And the board is also well-monitored, but if by any chance you get any IMs that seem inappropriate then be sure to let someone (me, a moderator, or the owner of the board, Star Witch) know immediately. Unfortunately, any and every spiritual path has its share of creeps and pervs lurking around. "Yeah, I'll teach you Wicca. I'm the High Priest Poobah of the Bubble Gum Coven of the West Side. Why don't you meet me at this place today, and I'll show you a new ritual, hehehe..." Don't do it. Follow your instincts. Do what feels right, but also always let people you know, who care about you, know what you're doing at all times. Try not to live an undercover life; it could kill you.


Get a Real Job --I Mean, Religion

As far as your mom goes, like I said, it's great that she's not tearing down the house over your interest in Wicca. She, like any parent, just wants you to invest your time in what she perceives will help you in the future. It's probably similar to when a kids says, "I want to major in dance when I'm in college," and the parent says, "You ought to major in engineering so you could get a real job and support yourself" etc. Perhaps she thinks if you're interested in witchcraft, it's irrational and people will think you're crazy. But if you'd be interested in a "mainstream" religion, you'd be more "accepted" in society (she's probably right about that, though, hahaha). I don't know. My family thinks I'm pretty weird as it is, and I'm the parent here! lol Go figure. But they love me anyway.

Anyway, speaking of my own household, I'll give you an example from a "mom standpoint." My daughter runs track, and I noticed it has had a good effect on her. She's gotten more self-disciplined, instead of getting more competitive (as I thought she would), she's more of a team player than she was before, she encourages other people rather than makes fun of them, etc. I see that track has brought out good things in her, rather than bad. People think pagan religions just teach bad things, like licentiousness, some kind of license to act nutty, you know, run around naked in the moonlight, sacrifice cats at the cemetery, and other stereotypes. I don't know what stereotypes your mom might have in her mind, but she might be concerned for you because of them. I guess you'll have to show her that your spiritual choices bring out the good in you, and not the bad. This is what's called a "teaching moment" for you.


Good Comes From Within

I find pagans to be much more well-rounded and overall healthy. They usually strive to be well-read and conversant about spiritual topics outside their religion. They usually appreciate the Earth's power and beauty, and strive to treat its creatures well, feeling a oneness with them. Because of these perspectives, they tend to feel a sense of morality that comes from within, not from outside themselves, and that's important. They generally don't feel a need for a dictatorial, patriarchal god of some sort to breathe down their necks and threaten to torture them eternally, in order for them to do what's right. In fact, once an atheist friend (albeit he wasn't a pagan, but to make a point...) said to me, "I do what's right because it's right. I don't need some god telling me to do what's right." He did so many nice things for me and other people, volunteered time in many organizations, did pro-bono work for people who couldn't pay, etc.

Now, the Christians say, "Faith without works is dead," which means you can't just go around preaching about "God's love," without showing it to other people in your works, i.e., the things you say and do. Christians also say that Jesus said, "If you love me, feed my sheep," meaning don't just say, "Aw, I just looove Jesus so, so much! Yes I do," and then turn around and treat people like crap; rather, love them and care for them. My atheist friend fed Jesus' sheep better than His own believers ever do, and I learned more about what it meant to be "Christ-like" from an atheist, than I ever did from all the "Christians" I've ever known rolled into one big, holy pile of ...people. I said all that to say good comes from within you, not from your religion. But, your religion could encourage the good within to come out.


Kill Her with Kindness

So, what I'm saying is if your mom sees that your interest in Wicca produces good within you, like I see that my daughter's track activities produce good within her, then your mom will be more apt to respect your choices. I suppose you'll have to sell her on it for a while, like...

* "Man, that girl made me really angry today. Normally, I would have told her off. But Wicca teaches us to 'harm none,' so I blew it off and just walked away. Then I did a spell that might help her see the error of her ways and stop treating people like that. Anyway, the Goddess gave me peace and serenity over it all, so I'm over it." --I mean, what mom's not gonna love that!! Or how 'bout this:

* Make a big, beautiful Ostara altar, with eggs, and spring flowers, etc. (non-pagans can handle Ostara because it's essentially the same as Easter, which is where Easter gets its name, actually), and then give her a handmade gift and a card that says, "As the Earth is our womb and produces life, I'm so thankful you produced me, Mom. You're a goddess in my world. I love you. Happy Ostara!" and give her a kiss. --She'd break down in tears. And she'll be like, "Where could I sign up to be a Wiccan! They love moms!"

Wiccan holidays (sabbats and esbats) are good times to get creative like that. Most of them have similarities to mainstream Christian holidays, because Christian holidays are based upon them (long story, but yes, that means most Christians are practicing pagans and don't know it, hahaha, or don't want to know it).


Anyway, just kill her with Wiccan kindness!! Show her some Wicca love!! Try to always include her in some way, and always explain what you're doing so she'll learn about your religion. But most of all, show her how your religion has taught you to love and respect yourself, her and others.

Good luck.

[raynelae]

I needed that also! Thank u so much
Blessed be