not really sure what to put here.

[Misfit_Ghoul]

For sometime now Iv hated my life I’m always alone I spend every day in my room almost always on the computer doing nothing iv wasted most of my life just sitting in this room by myself and I just hate it I have no friends i havnt had any for sometime or any kind of life but iv never done anything to change it because every time I try to change it it seems I fail just recently I deiced I was tired of always staying in my room and I was tired of not having any friends I mean Iv had friends online but it never seems to last which sucks cause I just recently met a guy last year that I really like and we use to talk all the time but now it seems even hes gotten tired of me (not that i can really blame him) but I finally met a chick who seemed cool and we hung out a couple of times but each time it doesn’t go so well something bad always seems to happen and its even worse that I can never seem to think of anything to say iv always been shy meeting new people but I think spending so much time by myself over the last few years has made it worse so I doubt shell be asking me to hang out again. Anyways iv always had trouble expressing the way I feel and that could be why I’m not good at talking to other people but I don’t like crying or bitching about my life because I know it could be worse most of the time I try to ignore the way I feel and try to just deal with it but every now and then something cause me to just break down and to be honest I don’t want to deal with this anymore I don’t want this life anymore I don’t want to be me anymore iv never told anyone this before honestly I don’t know why I’m writing this or why I post it I never post anything especially about the way i feel and this dosnt seem to have much of a point to it haha maybe i just need to finially get it out there and say something to tell someone even if no one sees this.

[The Judge]

I've seen it. You would be surprised at how much of that applies to me as well. lol

You can't force the change, I don't have any friends where I live either. All of mine are here or on facebook. We're all friends here and will listen. So if you feel the need to talk, go ahead. Despite the name, I don't judge.

May the Gods stand between you and harm in all the dark places you must walk.

[Misfit_Ghoul]

Thanks , it nice to know that I’m not only one like me haha and nice to know that ill have someone to talk to if I need it I really appreciate it.

[The Judge]

It's what we're here for.

[Starwitch]

Hey there Misfit. Welcome to Everything Under the Moon. I'm Starwitch, the owner of the site.

I can relate to many of your feelings. I spent so much time sitting in front of my computer that I eventually built a website, which is where you're at now. It wound up becoming my career and also the way I found my purpose in the world. Not saying you need a website, but just that things can work out in funny ways sometimes. I didn't even start this site because I was so much into witchcraft that I had to make a site about it. My problem was that I couldn't talk to anyone about all the things that were driving me crazy. I needed an outlet to get all those thoughts and feelings out, so EUTM became my online journal. Over the years it turned into a witchcraft site and the personal writings took a backseat to the occult info, but that was a good thing for me. I could always start a new site somewhere else if I wanted to write things I couldn't share on EUTM. Definitely keep writing your thoughts out like you're doing. I find that it really helps ease the tension inside me when I do.

Do you like to read? If you do, you might want to read "Journey of Souls" and "Destiny of Souls" by Michael Newton. It could change your entire view of the world and your place in it and your reason for living. It explains why we are here as humans, why we suffer loneliness and hardships, and pretty much answers all the questions that we have as humans. I highly recommend it, especially to anyone who's questioning whether they should continue on. There's also a darker book called "Suicide: What Really Happens in the Afterlife" that gives great detail about what happens to the souls of suicides. It's very important to read that if you're considering suicide. My guy, Ron, also wrote about his own experience, which was a dream/vision/reliving experience of all the suicides he committed in his previous lives and what happened to him during those suicides. It's really pretty shocking, but very interesting. It's here if you'd like to see it.

http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum ... t8800.html

I'm not sure why, but I had moved that thread out of public view for several months. It needs to be here in the Suicide forum where it used to be. My apologies for that error.

Bright blessings to you,
Starwitch

[Misfit_Ghoul]

Hello Starwitch thanks for taking the time and sharing your thoughts with me I must say I really like your website Iv found it to be very helpful , Iv always found writing usually helped when I was feeling depressed or upset I just never had the courage to show anyone my writings or tell anyone how I felt mostly because I guess I always thought people would judge me I see now I was wrong.

I love to read I will have to read those books you recommended and to be honest Iv never told anyone this but Iv considered suicide for years since I was about 13 but I don’t feel I have the right to take my life iv always thought I never know what will happen in the future and for all I know tomorrow could bring everything Iv always want (though I know that wont happen haha) and I know I couldn’t do that to my parents or my dog (he gets depressed when I'm gone even if its for just a few hours haha) . Thanks for sharing your boyfriends experience with me I couldn’t imagine having to go threw something like that.