Warning: Not for the squeamish!!!
A few months ago, I was hiking in an area around Malibu called Newton Canyon, on a day I was feeling very distraught and stressed with a lot of things in my life. I needed to clear my head, and as I often find going out into nature is very therapeutic, I felt it would be the right thing to do. I clambered a bit off the trail (I know, bad idea, but I wasn't in my right state of mind I suppose you could say), down to where there was a waterfall. A horrible smell permeated the area, but I attributed it to the polluted water, and my sinuses mostly blocked it out. I continued poking around the area, when I literally almost stumbled on the carcass of a dead, decaying deer, filled with maggots. I wasn't so much disgusted by the sight as I was TERRIFIED. Fear filled my being and I ran for all I was worth from the site.
Ever since then, I have had many nightmares regarding the incident, and a lingering fear of encountering the horrid enigma whenever I do go hiking. I feel that should I turn around, I will be suddenly confronted with this specter of death. I have decided it is the maggots that are the cause of this intense fear- and after having done some research on shadow totems, I have come to suspect that the little creatures are my shadow totem.
My question, therefore, is how do I deal with this fear and if it is a shadow totem I am dealing with here, how do I come to terms with it? It has been bothering me for some time now, so I know it must have some significance. Any comments or suggestions are much appreciated.
Shadow Totem???
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hedge*
- Posts: 1195
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Well met Anyawerecat
Shadow totems can seem very dominating and scary to each individual. However, this is their job as it brings the individual to confront fears and issues that they need to resolve in order to heal the soul and be aware of the destructive tendencies within themselves.
As animal totems show us characteristics we need to adopt in our lives, shadow totems show us characteristics we need to overcome.
I am not familiar with maggots as a totem animal but lets break down their traits one by one.
They are babies, baby flies albeit but babies none-the-less. They can live and survive in the harshest of conditions, harsh to humans but not to the maggot.They need to feed on rotting flesh in order to gain strength and mature into adults where they will spread their new grown wings and fly.
A brief summary I agree, but that about sums it up.
Now, lets look at these attributes with you in mind Anyawerecat. Do you have something gnawing away inside you that would be disgusting to everyone else, but to you it is maybe not "normal" but understood that it is part of your being. A maggot fights on relentlessly, this is what you must do. Instead of seeing the maggot as something terrifying and disgusting, embrace it's strength and determination. The maggot will eat away all that is bad, and it will help you too as well.
It is often recommended that counselling is required when facing your shadow totem, I really don't know much about it so I can't comment. Certainly you need to keep your chakras in harmonious working order. Spend some time on chakra meditation every day and also meditate with your shadow totem.
I will see if I can find a link that will help explain it all to you a bit more.
hedge
Shadow totems can seem very dominating and scary to each individual. However, this is their job as it brings the individual to confront fears and issues that they need to resolve in order to heal the soul and be aware of the destructive tendencies within themselves.
As animal totems show us characteristics we need to adopt in our lives, shadow totems show us characteristics we need to overcome.
I am not familiar with maggots as a totem animal but lets break down their traits one by one.
They are babies, baby flies albeit but babies none-the-less. They can live and survive in the harshest of conditions, harsh to humans but not to the maggot.They need to feed on rotting flesh in order to gain strength and mature into adults where they will spread their new grown wings and fly.
A brief summary I agree, but that about sums it up.
Now, lets look at these attributes with you in mind Anyawerecat. Do you have something gnawing away inside you that would be disgusting to everyone else, but to you it is maybe not "normal" but understood that it is part of your being. A maggot fights on relentlessly, this is what you must do. Instead of seeing the maggot as something terrifying and disgusting, embrace it's strength and determination. The maggot will eat away all that is bad, and it will help you too as well.
It is often recommended that counselling is required when facing your shadow totem, I really don't know much about it so I can't comment. Certainly you need to keep your chakras in harmonious working order. Spend some time on chakra meditation every day and also meditate with your shadow totem.
I will see if I can find a link that will help explain it all to you a bit more.
hedge
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AnyaWerecat
Thanks for the reply...
But then I'm reminded of an incident that occurred about a month later, when I was on the beach. To my horror, a deer's jawbone washed up on shore right near my feet. So now I'm not so sure-- perhaps it's the deer, or maybe it's not a shadow totem I'm dealing with at all, but some kind of strange entity sending me messages regarding death? All I know is that it's all a bit disturbing.
But then I'm reminded of an incident that occurred about a month later, when I was on the beach. To my horror, a deer's jawbone washed up on shore right near my feet. So now I'm not so sure-- perhaps it's the deer, or maybe it's not a shadow totem I'm dealing with at all, but some kind of strange entity sending me messages regarding death? All I know is that it's all a bit disturbing.
