Socially Inept

[kalicokitty]

I guess I 'm mostly posting this so that I can get out my feelings, but advice would be good too. Ok, so about a month ago yesterday a guy moved to my school. I was the first person to sit with him and he was assigned to sit next to me in one of my classes. I thought he was cute, but kept my distance because I am a nerd and knew I'd get nowhere fast with him if I tried to date him. That was fine with me, I was used to being a loner of sorts (more nerd traits). Well, it just so happened that I'd recently began to wear a dog's choke chain. One day, soon after he moved here, I was fidgeting with it and he looked at me questioningly. I explained that I wore it in mourning of my dearly departed canine companion. I was sure he'd tease me, but he shocked and awed me by smiling with understanding and pulling a smaller version of the collar around my neck and saying, "I thought I was the only one who did that."

Needless to say, I was practically smitten by this event alone. Over the next several days, I got to know him and I introduced him to a few of my friends that hadn't met him yet. One friend in particular, one far more outgoing and prettier than I took a particular interest in him. Later she confided in me that she liked him. I was in hot water. The next day the guy asked me if i thought he should ask my friend out. I, at the time, thought nothing about it and, being painfully shy about my own feelings toward him, beat around the question, telling him she liked him and that it was his decision to ask her or not. He did. Later, I was told that I should have protested more because what he most likely meant by that dad-blamed question was 'do you like me' which I, of course, didn't know because of my social ineptitude. Now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I still like him, but he's now dating one of my closest friends. I was too shy to tell my friend I liked him too, and now have no idea how to tell her in the current situation. I see them in the hallways and on the way to my bus. It's almost a physical discomfort. I don't want to hurt my friend, I love her like a sister, but there's this little part of me that wishes that they werent together. It's been even worse this week because we started a new term and the both have a class with me and sit next to me.

[Riyoki24]

I would be just honest w/ your friend. If she is a friend who can understand your feelings and all. Also let her know that you like him and to let her know that you may need space as seeing both of them together is hurting you emotionally. If she uses that against you, then she is not a true friend. Crushes come and go. Also w/ time you may even find a better person to crush on and make a move on when you are ready to make that step.

Also a true friend is some one who would not rub it in your face that you have a crush on their boyfriend. Also if she is not a true friend to you, then she may have been using you to make herself feel good. If she is a true friend then she'll be understanding.

Plus, the guy may have a more physical attraction to her. And some times relationships like that may not last long.

But as an observer, I've seen guys fall in love over physical appearances and fall out of love quickly. My lil sister has that quality, but her personality is overly demanding and hyper critical.

[kalicokitty]

Thanks for your advice. You were right. they didn't stay together very long. I finally got the nerve to tell him i liked him, but he doesn't like me the same way. It really sucks because now he's with a different friend who knew I liked him. I can't shut up about him, practically everything I do reminds me, in some way, of him. It's going to drive me crazy. He's an amazing person, and he doesn't even know it. It hurts to see or think about him, and of course, it's hard to stop thinking about him. Insanely enough, I think I love him...but he doesn't seem to feel the same way.

[Riyoki24]

There is also the possibility that maybe now is not the time for you two to connect in that way. You maybe ready for it, but he is not ready. Which may happen. If in the future if your paths were to ever cross once your out of high school and now are an adult. And that old feeling you have for him becomes inflamed and he is also feeling the same way you are. Thus you may have mutual feelings you can ask him once again.

Some times that may happen.

[kalicokitty]

Being all nostalgic and stuff. Just thought I'd post an update. He ended up asking me out at prom and we have now been dating for 2.5 years. He is going to ask me to marry him (and I'm going to say yes). PS he got me a cat engagement ring!!!! Lol

[Blackthorn]

What a heartwarming update. I'm glad things are working out! Congratulations

[Firebird]

KALICO KITTY!!!
So good to see you again, and with good news! I love the fact he gave you a cat ring... he must get you. Congratulations

Bright Blessings,
Firebird

[Jade Rose]

Awweh! That's soo sweet! Congratulations kalicokitty!

When I read the first post here I didn't pay attention to the date but when I realized what's happened I couldn't stop smiling! Happy for you that it turned out great! :)

[evil ed]

From a fellow Hoosier,
Best Wishes!

I saw the other thread first, then thought "WHY IS SHE ASKING THIS IF SHE'S GETTING MARRIED!!

.....then I noticed the dates of posting......

[kalicokitty]

Lol to all of you who missed the date, and thanks to everyone who said congrats.

[mrsdavid1975]

This post is pretty amazing. Congratulations!

[Kassandra]

.


My, but that worked out well, didn't it, haha. Fortune favors the bold, indeed. Congrats. Now of course, you must update us on the weddding when he proposes, and all. This is officially an EUTM ongoing saga.



.

[SnowCat]

I'm glad I read the entire thread before responding. I was going to say that a couple of years can make a big difference in social skills. I'm very happy for both of you.

Snow

[kalicokitty]

Kassandra: *salutes* Will do. It might be a while before we actually tie the knot. We're both very broke and my parents are causing a lot of issues for us. But I will let everyone know

[kalicokitty]

So he hasn't asked me yet, but the ring he ordered came in yesterday and he allowed me to take a few pictures before whisking it away. Thought I'd share a picture on here. Btw, sorry it's so grainy, it's a phone picture. i swear I'll post a better picture when he officially asks me. c: