I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do.

Post by Wolf* » Sun Oct 30, 2005 10:17 pm

...my mother.....she told me that if I ever wanted to use the living room or anything for a ritual...I could....Then, I asked for the use of the living room for Halloween, Samhain......just for a dedication ritual for my athame, and a self dedication...(I've just finished Nocturnal Witchcraft by Konstantinos a week ago)....we were discussing, in my parents room, about what would happen.....she said she wasn't comfortable with it....I told her she said I could.....it got quiet...next thing I knew she was out cold....sitting cross-legged on the bed, eyes wide open,tears streaming from them, but not moving or making a sound.....awake but out cold.....Me and my father finally got her back to normal after about ten minutes....when she came around she forgot it all and was wondering why she was just sitting there....then my father told me never to mention anything in the occult again...we never told her what happened, just that she blacked out....

I left a bit out, but this is the main story here...Now I'm not sure about my mother....I don't know what to make of this psychotraumatic exprience...And I don't know what to do with my magick.....please, comments, suggestions, anything will be helpful right now....I'm still very devoted to my beliefs, but I'm worried about my mother, confused, and just don't know what to do......

Post by BlackenedRose* » Mon Oct 31, 2005 6:48 am

Oh no wolf! Was she alright after this?

All I can think of is that you will have to explain to them that you didn't do anything on purpose. Your father probably said that because he was worried about your mother.

Hope it turns out OK!

Post by Wolf* » Mon Oct 31, 2005 10:10 am

Yes, she was just fine afterwards, like nothing ever happened. But what my father said still stands..

Post by BlackenedRose* » Mon Oct 31, 2005 11:29 am

I guess he only told you never to talk about it, not to do it.....but anyway, he'll probably come around in a few days. He's probably only acting like that because he's worried. Go by what he says for a while and be all sucky and stuff, then ask again once it has all died down.

Post by **Moon_Stone** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 1:11 pm

Ya, I kind of agree. Let it be for a while, and present the idea another time. From some past posts, your mom sounds like she has some really serious issues. (I wouldn't be surprised if she had "faked" this melodramatic episode just to get you to shut up about it...)

So far as practicing your ritual: Do you have a garage you could dissapear to for a while? Or a patio? Perhaps a friend's home or maybe there's a Wiccan shop nearby with their own ritual plans. If all else fails, you can at least honor the Goddess secretly... say, in the shower, and perform what you can of your ritual in there.

Blessed Be and I wish you the best. It sounds like you have quite a bit on your mind.

Post by Wolf* » Wed Nov 02, 2005 10:22 am

well, I haven't said anything about it, and I did a brief ritual in my room after they went to bed. As far as her faking, I doubt it, she does have some issues but she would not fake it.

Post by **Moon_Stone** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 3:45 pm

Well, I'm sure you know your mom much better than I could ever guess. I didn't mean to offend, Wolf- I was just making an assumption based on what has been said about her in other posts.

Regardless though, it's still a really hard situation for anyone to have to deal with-- feeling like such an outcast in your own home and in your own family. (Personally, my mom just laughs at me and thinks about how unfortunate I am.... but luckily I don't live with them anymore. ) So, our parents are never the most accepting things in the world. Yours just really seem to have a problem with anything that is important to you... and that is really unfortunate too.

I'm glad to hear that you were able to practice at least a little bit though. Sending you warm thoughts, Wolf ~~~

~MoonStone

Post by Wolf* » Fri Nov 04, 2005 9:55 am

You didn't offend me, I know that was not your intention. They don't try to have a problem with important things to me, we accually are very close, but we only seperate on matters of beliefs. They are scared a get in over my head on earth, and go to hell when I die, and I'm stuck telling them I know my limits and there is no eternal hell. Why is life so complicated?

Post by **Moon_Stone** » Fri Nov 04, 2005 12:05 pm

Well, life wouldn't be as much fun without it's complications. You know the old saying, "wiithout imperfection there can be no perfections". :28:

I'm glad you are close to your parents- that's a very rare thing nowadays. It is hard to differ, (religiously or otherwise) but differences from our parents and friends is what makes us individual.

~Blessed Be~

Post by Wolf* » Thu Jan 12, 2006 2:18 pm

I'm begining to think its impossible for everyone in my house to be mentally sound at the same time...

Since my last post in this thread, my parents have inforced what they said, though oddly enough, though with no complaints from me, I was allowed to keep all of my tools, items, herbs, ect...

But now...my grades have been slipping in school, and they say my attitude has changed severely, and my temper has gotten shorter (which I'll admit that about my temper to be true...), aaand, I'll give you one guess to what they blame it on...... And I'm getting fussed and yelled at about this at least thrice a week...My mind can't take this anymore. The thing is though, witchcraft/the occult/spirituality is a part of all this, because they've banned me from it. I'm now forced to stay up late at night when everyone else is asleep working on the computer to get more info, that I used to get after school. They can't see that this is a relegion, a belief, a way of life even. Thats not all either, then after I get chewed out about my grades they start shovibng that damned bible down my throat. I swear, I'm loosing my mind here, I don't know what to do. I'm having enough mental troubles trying to sort out what my beliefs are, I can't be bothered with having theirs forced onto me. Though whenever I get depressed I turn to my spirituality because researching and reading up on the occult is sort of a comfort to me. So in all actuallity, they are only driving me further into what they want me away from most.

Please, helpful advice or anything would be greatly appriciated.

Post by **Hera#76** » Thu Jan 12, 2006 4:01 pm

Life, love, religion and the universe are all a way of life.

Your parents sound like they feel slightly threatened by your belief system, and rightly so if they are heavily Christian orientated. Why can't you have your beliefs and let them have theirs and live together. You are still living at home so you have to take into account that they will naturally want their home to be the way they want it. That means not having unusual religious objects sitting around in full view.

Why can't you just carry on doing your rituals in your room. It is YOUR room after all and that way you also ensure that they are not moving things around on your alter.

When you move out and live on your own then you can establish your alter etc where you like. Respect their opinions and beliefs a bit more and they may respect yours in turn.

Post by Wolf* » Thu Jan 12, 2006 11:33 pm

Why can't you just carry on doing your rituals in your room. It is YOUR room after all and that way you also ensure that they are not moving things around on your alter.

I do, trust me. But they notice things like candles lower than they were, inscense burned recently, etc... So they know when I'm doing something.

When you move out and live on your own then you can establish your alter etc where you like. Respect their opinions and beliefs a bit more and they may respect yours in turn.

I do respect their beliefs. I never asked them to study mine, though I've offered so they could understand, I still attend church under their request to "open up to the true god and religion". I even agreed to weekly 1 on 1 sessions with with preacher without protest.