Advice would be appreciated.

Lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and transgender discussion and questions.
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AmethystQuartz
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Advice would be appreciated.

Post by AmethystQuartz »

Okay, so recently i have come to terms with the fact i am not completely straight. At the moment i have told a few friends o thi.k I am bi and they are fine with it. I am nearly sixteen.
In a recent session at our local college i met a girl brirfly and i really really liked her. She also seemed vaguely interested which is surather surprising for our age . The problem is i have still technically got a boyfriend even thoigh he is cold to me and has barely talked to me let alone kissed me in weeks. I want to break up with him but havent had chance to approach it. How do you break up with someone you arent talking to?
The second problem is i have found the girl on facebook but am too nervous to ad halfsm d her. I dont know what to say to her at this stage as i barely know her but i would like to. She cant live more than five or so miles away as she attends a local high school.

Any advice on how to talk to her would be much appreciated. I guess this could be general dating tips as well.

Thanks very much
Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.
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Alura Noel
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Re: Advice would be appreciated.

Post by Alura Noel »

The only way to break up with your current Bf is to just tell him. Let him know it isn't working out for you. Talk to him face to face, phone or at the very least shoot a text... Whichever way you feel comfortable. The fact that he is already not talking to you or spending time... He's probably already checked out of the relationship.

I would message her on facebook. You could send her a message saying that you had met her at the college and enjoyed her company so you'd like to be friends with her or you'd like to keep talking. Then after your message send her a friend request.

Wait and see if she accepts it. If she does, then have fun getting to know each other. See how your relationship develops and if it can go from friendship to something more. Just take it slow.

I wouldn't right off the bat come out of the gates with saying your bisexual but starting a friendship will lead to that stuff coming out anyways but down the road. Don't wanna scare her away if your too headstrong with it if she's not interested in more yet.
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Xiao Rong
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Re: Advice would be appreciated.

Post by Xiao Rong »

I'm going to second everything Alura said!
~ Xiao Rong ~ 小蓉 ~ Little Lotus ~
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Re: Advice would be appreciated.

Post by missdarlingjess »

Third! And also, just like Alura said, take it slow. Finding out our sexuality is a sometimes or fast process. Take all the time you need. Better to take a decade to realize you're bisexual and then date her then to jump right into a relationship and find out you're not!
AmethystQuartz
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Re: Advice would be appreciated.

Post by AmethystQuartz »

Thanks :)
Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.
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YanaKhan
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Re: Advice would be appreciated.

Post by YanaKhan »

Your thread made me smile. Please, don't think I'm laughing at you or something, it's just I remember quite well what was it like when I was 16 and had no courage to talk to boys (well, in your case girls), let alone ask someone out.
Actually, it's easier for you as you don't really have to go to the attraction card with the girl yet. As Alura said, send her a friend request and then you can probably ask her if she wants to hang out or something. Get to know her and let her get to know you before you say anything about attraction. As for dating tips - I believe there is no person that could give you one - everyone is different and you need different approach to different people. Just remember - it's not as scary as it looks - after all, that's what everyone at this age is feeling. Some people might seem confident and whatever, but they are just as confused and sometimes scared when they like someone.
My advise is to sit and think about the worst that can happen. That would be rejection I guess. And then what? You'll probably feel bad for a period of time and then move on. Once you accept the worst possible scenario, things don't look so scary anymore and you can brave the big bad dating world. This is what I read once and has worked for me every time since in every aspect of life.
I wish you the very best of luck. Finding your sexuality is hard and takes a lot of courage to come to terms with it, especially when you are different from most people, so I think you are very brave to have done that.
As for the so called "boyfriend", I don't get how can you call a relationship what you have, if you don't talk to each other. Try calling him and texting him. If there is no response, I think you can consider the "relationship" over.
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Alura Noel
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Re: Advice would be appreciated.

Post by Alura Noel »

Just remember - it's not as scary as it looks - after all, that's what everyone at this age is feeling. Some people might seem confident and whatever, but they are just as confused and sometimes scared when they like someone.
My advise is to sit and think about the worst that can happen. That would be rejection I guess. And then what? You'll probably feel bad for a period of time and then move on. Once you accept the worst possible scenario, things don't look so scary anymore and you can brave the big bad dating world.
Elcida, This is the best dating advice there is to give! :) Reading this made me think of the many times (fond memories now, thank you for making me think of all the funny times) where I was terribly shy and didn't just go over and talk to people. I think if you can get over that fear of the negative "what ifs," dating is so much easier.

I remember when I was 15 - 16 and my Memaw (grandma) would see these cute boys and she'd tell me to go over and talk with them. I on the other hand, would just look at her like she had grown a third eye and think to myself she was crazy. On hindsight, I wonder about all the interesting people I could have talked to and met but was too shy to just say hi.

If anything, with this girl and whomever you meet down the road. Just gotta take that leap of faith into the unknown. Sometimes you'll be pleasantly surprised as to what you find by just saying hello.

:flyingwitch:
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