Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Discussion of raising your family in the pagan tradition.
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Sakura Blossom
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Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by Sakura Blossom »

I can't help but squeal when I see them. They are so cute! My friend has this adorable little girl she just had recently, and I love being able to spend time with her. She's too cute! She sings now, and she can't talk. When she's crying and you start playing piano, she starts to sing along. It's the most adorable thing I've ever seen! I love babies (and I know they're hard work. I've baby sat one for AWHILE), and I am SO EXCITED to get to that point in my life. Of course, I'm working on my degree first but I'm one of those people who believes whatever happens, happens. If it were to happen sooner, I wouldn't have any complaints. I can't wait to be a mother, as I feel I was born to be one and I actually love being the stay at home mom type since I can't handle the stress of work.

But anyways, this is getting off topic. Haha! My question, is what you (parents) did with your children or are currently doing, in terms of religion? I don't want to start a debate or anything of the sort! I'm just curious to see what pagan parents here are doing. Are you raising your children in your ways or do you let them experiment on their own? It's just something I was thinking about, and was curious to see what others had to say!

Thanks!
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by StarlessN1ght »

That is something that I don't want to even think about. lol
My son is 13 months old so I have a while to worry about it. My family is super strict Christian, and it makes me worry.
If my son chose to be a Christian or almost any religion, I really wouldn't mind it. I'm just concerned that he will be forced into it by my family. I didn't have a choice growing up. We went to church every Sunday morning and evening service as well as Wednesday nights. If you didn't want to go? That was too bad. I am so terrified that he will have to go through something like that.

On the topic of being a Stay at home mom. I'm just gonna let you know there is nothing more stressful, and I have worked all my life. It sounds easy... and it even looks easy... but it ain't. lol I'm sure it will get easier when my son grows up a little. Right now though... the only break I get is when he is asleep.
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Sakura Blossom
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by Sakura Blossom »

Oh, no, I'm not worried about the stress. I've basically done being a stay at home mom through baby sitting. Granted, it's not my own kid, but I know how stressful it can be. Haha. It's hard work! I just can't handle actual jobs, because I have a chronic illness, so staying at home is the best thing for me. I just prefer it because it's easier, but I can see where you're coming from for sure! That'd be very stressful. (:

As for the religion, I understand that but not at the same time. I never had it happen to me, but it happened to a friend. My parents raised us to explore and find our own religious beliefs which I very much appreciate. I'm sure he'll be okay. (: He is YOUR son, so you get to have a say in what he does. ^_^ I hope it goes well for you!
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by Firebird »

My daughter has accompanied me to circle now and again, she wasn't terribly interested in it but we had lots of fun circles when she was younger and she participated more then. Now that she is grown (and has a new beau) and lives on her own, she rarely has time, but will stop in when old timers are in town, like this moon...a gal we both haven't seen for years will be in circle, so she will stop in.
She did try some Christian churches with friends in her teens,
and it wasn't really for her...of course I didn't encourage that at all. :evilwitch:
... but even though she is rarely at a ceremony, she identifies with being pagan.
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Sakura Blossom
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by Sakura Blossom »

That makes me think of my mom! (: She'd have us cast circles when the power went off. (: I remember it, she'd use white rope and set up candles. I'd always go through her drawer too, where she'd have tarot cards and her athame. (: She never pushed it, though, it was more so letting us try our own thing. x3
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by Starwitch »

I'm a step-parent to a 17-year-old girl. I've been in her life since she was 4. She knew the kind of stuff I was into and has known that me and her father both have a negative view of Christianity and organized religion in general. I thought she had probably been around us long enough to have picked up a lot of our reasons for not being Christian. She was homeschooled throughout 7th - 10th grade, but then decided she wanted to go high school. Long story short, she made new friends. They were Christian. They took her to church. Now she's a Christian. She looks down on us for being "sinners" and of course has an agenda to get us saved. It's very disappointing for me that she turned out that way. I had hoped for more for her. Attempting to discuss religion with her at this point results in her getting angry and storming off because she feels we're "making fun of her beliefs". So we just don't discuss it at all.

If you aren't Christian, I would strongly advise doing what you can to prevent your kids from going down that path. If you think they won't be taught to look down on you, you're probably mistaken. Some churches, particularly Evangelical and Pentecostal churches (also many others), are very brainwashy. Your kids will hear the same messages repeated over and over and over again, like they're being hypnotized, while the church is playing music with a hypnotic beat and the preacher may be droning on and on in his hypnotic voice. Please read this article by motivational speaker Dick Sutphen for more info on brainwashing/hypnotism in church.

When my step-daughter was a little kid, we made the mistake of allowing her to attend church ONCE with my brother's kids. That just happened to be the day that the church passed out FETUS DOLLS for all the kids to hold like babies while they preached their anti-abortion dogma. I ended up with a pro-life step-kid after that day. And even though she seems to have a rational grasp on the idea that abortion is necessary in some cases, children and teenagers are very much prone to black-and-white thinking. Something is either good or bad in their view. There are no grey areas. My guess is that she would vote to abolish women's right to choose if she had that option.

I just wish I'd spent more time turning her into a Liberal and teaching her how the church and Republican party brainwashes people. Now that she's already brainwashed, she's like every other brainwashed person. She can't accept that she could possibly be brainwashed - because, after all, don't brainwashed people walk around like zombies with their eyes crossed and their tongue sorta hanging out of their mouths? A normal-looking person could never be brainwashed, right? Wrong.

In case you haven't ever seen these bunch of brainwashed weirdos...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LACyLTsH4ac

P.S. If you're going to bash me for bashing Christianity, please don't. Or at the very least, read the Dick Sutphen page and watch the video I linked to so you'll be able to debate the issue on the same level as me. I probably won't be back to debate this with anyone though.
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by Sakura Blossom »

Oh, no, Starwitch, I wouldn't bash you in the slightest bit. While I am supportive of anyone wanting to have their own religious beliefs, I personally don't agree with Christianity myself.

I am incredibly sorry to hear that happened to you. ): I guess my family and I lucked out. We were raised with Wiccan/Pagan practicing parents and I did go to public school in a very Christian town. I just never got caught up in the hype, I guess. Maybe some day she'll see what's happened and change her mind? It's really unfortunate how they do this, and I've seen it first hand too. I remember that they'd always do the pledge of allegiance in school, and I didn't like that you had to say "one nation under God" because I thought it was wrong because not everyone believed in God. I never said that part, and didn't like the idea that it was forced upon children to say within school buildings.

I hope some day the way they teach religions will change, but it seems so far off in the future. ):
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by YanaKhan »

Ah, Star, this is terrible. I am sorry you are going through this, but I do hope it's just a stage ... I was in quite a similar situation in my time - I had this boyfriend (who actually turned out to be extremely freaky about religion lately - his wife divorced him and he apparently started preaching to everyone how sinful they are for living together without being married and such) and was willing to do just about anything not to lose him. Bad idea, but at the time I was actually going to church every Sunday and was sincerely trying to believe in the religion. Didn't work though, so I was getting more and more frustrated at myself - I thought there was something wrong with me. Then when I broke up with the guy, things got normal again. I really hope your stepdaughter is going through something similar in order to be accepted. I think she'll get tired of it.
My daughter is nearly seven and while in our house religion is not discussed, she spends quite a lot of time with my mother in law who is very very religious. Not to mention my sister in law who is extremely religious - to the point where she banned the "Harry Potter" books from her house and did actually forbid her then 18 year old daughter to read them (she then was spending an hour a day in my house to read them, but that's another issue :lol: ). I am a little worried already that my kid uses phrases like "Our father from the sky is angry" (when there is a storm). It makes me feel uneasy because she is too young to understand why I am so against Christianity while her grandma who she loves is so religious. I guess it's going to be a problem later in life, but I guess I have a little time to think about how to approach her on the subject.
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by Sakura Blossom »

I fully understand that, YanaKhan! It's difficult to try and teach children, but at the same time, I always wanted to just leave it open and see what happens. Granted, that can lead them into what I don't agree with and don't want them to believe in, so it's really a tricky and tough subject to really think about. I always worry that my children when I have them some day, will get caught up in it but I can only hope I'll do my best to stress (like my parents did) not to make a serious decision about religion until they are an adult so that they may learn and research different things to find a path that's right for them.
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by Pinkpower_80 »

I was raised with forced Christianity, I was even sent to a private Christian school from 8th-11th grade. Back then I was so enthralled by it all until I got old enough to really see. We were taught that women/girls who wear pants would go to hell, women are only supposed to stay home & have as big of a family as possible & a desire to do otherwise was a sin. All the while, the people pushing this down my throat were the biggest hypocrites imaginable. The pastor was sleeping with his wife's best friend, who happened to be the wife of his best friend. My own father was a sunday school teacher, deacon, usher, and was well respected. When we were at home he would abuse me in every way possible. When I finally told on him when I was 16, most of the church turned their backs on me. I tried to hold onto my faith, as I was taught that the more you suffer then the more god loves you. I called bullsh!t on the whole thing when I was about 20, but it took a LONG time for me to "undoctrinate" myself and accept my beliefs enough to say them out loud with no guilt or fear.
As for what I teach my children, I talk freely about what I believe & my spirituality. I explain things when they ask. I don't go about making them participate though. My fiance is a Buddhist, so that helps. Our kids are 4,12, & 13 so they are all very impressionable. My mom is a Christian, but she doesn't go to church a lot. I have let her take my daughter to church but only when she was about 1-2. Now that she is 4, I don't allow her to go. The boys' biomom's parents are super religious so every time they come back from there they have snarky remarks. It isn't up to me about not letting them go though, and they love their grandparents.
I plan on teaching my 4yo stuff as we go, I just want to do it lightly and let her decide for herself. I hope she continues on a Pagan path. It would be awesome to practice with her as an adult and start a family legacy.
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Sakura Blossom
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by Sakura Blossom »

I agree, Pink. I don't agree with any of that stuff at all and I wouldn't want my child taking part in it a all. Thankfully, I don't have any family that would ever try to make them become religious so that's very nice. (:
And I like the sounds of a family legacy! I can only hope now that my future children will follow a Pagan path! (:
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

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When my daughter was young, I was making an attempt at returning to Catholicism after getting myself into some bad experiences with witchcraft. I kept feeling the pull of the magical life, so that didn't last. My daughter was raised with witchcraft being the norm. She has since moved away from that, and my grandkids aren't being raised in any tradition. Their other, grandma, however, is also a witch, so they're not completely isolated from the metaphysical world. What they get exposed to is just very low key.

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Sakura Blossom
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by Sakura Blossom »

I was raised the same way. (: Though, as I got older, my parents stopped and I started. So it's a slightly different situation. Haha!
I do try to keep everything low key too, if I ever speak with children I know (whose parents don't mind of course). I think that's a great way. (:
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by Starwitch »

Thanks for all the supportive responses. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Last Sunday, I was posting a pic on the EUTM Facebook page and I wrote, "Aren't you glad you aren't in church today?" Several fans of the page, who are presumably pagan, jumped all over my case for saying something as simple as that. Obviously, religious tolerance is a huge deal to a lot of pagans, but I can't be tolerant of a religion that's brainwashing my kid and practically everyone else in America and is causing our political system to deteriorate at a rapid pace. So yeah, I do feel somewhat hostile towards the Christian church. It also pulled my family apart when my younger sister married a religious freak three years ago. They've now both converted to Catholicism after being raised as Baptist/Pentecostal. Her husband decided that Catholicism was God's pure church or something dumb like that.

Anyway, I just wanted to share how things went for me. Now that my step-daughter is basically grown, I can see where I went wrong with her. I hope you guys have better luck with your own kids.

I shouldn't have referred to that article on brainwashing as a "book" (I edited my post to say "article"). It was actually a speech that was transcribed to text. I copied it over to my website this evening because it's very important and I want to always know where I can find it. I'd really like for someone to make a video out of the information contained in it. That would get a lot more views than a long article. But at least it's on a purple background now instead of plain white, so it's a little easier to read.
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Re: Babies are cute, but it makes me wonder...

Post by Sakura Blossom »

I fully understand, Starwitch. I've seen so many different things happen, and as I said, while I'm tolerant... I just don't agree with the Christian church. Now, that's not to say every single person in that church is horrible, because I have met a select few who actually aren't brainwashed and are really wonderful people, but unfortunately as you know, the remaining aren't like that. ):

Thank you for sharing your story!
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