Miscarriage

[MOTHERofDRAGONS]

I had one last week, and really don't know how to feel. The baby was covered in tumors and was at least 4-5 months along. Dead for... I don't know.. All I know is that since the "fetus" had been passed for so long, it didn't show up as a miscarriage on the test. However, I saw liver, heart, an eye, ...it fit in palm of my hand. Doc said it was a blood clot and actually chunked it in a biohazard bin.
I feel cheated out of a funeral,
I feel angry for them not believing me, I feel angry for a fouled up tubeligation..
And I am angry at my live because he refused to look, and took the doc's word at a blood clot. That's what she said it was. Gave me morphine, and a Vicodin, and released me.

Im still bleeding, 7 days after ER visit.. And I'm afraid if I go ack they will think I'm just drug seeking, or bat crazy cause of what happened.

I don't know what to do.

[TwilightDancer]

I'm so sorry to hear that. My husband and I have fertility issues so I know how it feels to get so excited about something so precious and have it ripped away from you. I would suggest you call a lawyer and ask him what your options are. You should also go to a gyno and have them confirm that you were pregnant.




Blessed Be

[Heartsong]

MotherofDragons, I am so sorry. I know the painful frustration and anger you're feeling. I had a miscarriage a few years ago, and I still have mixed feelings about it. I believe that it's completely normal to not be entirely sure what to feel. How can you know what to feel? And I find your doctor's reaction horrifying, whether she believed it to be a blood clot or not. But, if you're still bleeding, you probably at least go to your regular physician and get checked out. It's your body and if something's not right, you have every reason to seek further medical treatment, regardless of the medical staff's opinion.

Maybe you can hold a small, candlelit vigil on your own, for healing and to grieve.

Sending love and light your way,
~Heartsong

[Pinkpower_80]

I am so sorry. I have had miscarriages and a stillbirth, and it is heartbreaking. I am appalled at the way you were treated. You need to be given an ultrasound to make sure nothing has remained in your uterus because there is a major risk of infection and hemorrhage. If you can't get to your gyno, try a different ER than the one you went to.
I will light a candle and say a prayer for you and your little one. <3

[Xiao Rong]

Mother of Dragons, I don't know what to say except that I'm very sorry for your loss. That's really terrible; sending healing thoughts your way!

[Sakura Blossom]

I am so sorry! I've never had anything like this happen to me directly, but I did lose my baby brother due to him being still born. ): I don't know how it feels to lose a child, but I know how it is to lose a brother. I am sending you a lot of light and healing energies. ):

[Aderyn]

Mother of Dragons, I don't know what to say except that I'm very sorry for your loss. That's really terrible; sending healing thoughts your way!

I second this!

[MOTHERofDRAGONS]

Yesterday I saw an obgyn, and told him my history with cysts and such. He did an examine. (holy freaking shit it was awful) however, he did it as quickly and professionally as he could so I pthe pain wasn't drawn out. He said I may need surgery, but didn't state what kind.
He wanted to do blood work, which I went in this morning, and gave sample after sample. I will find the results out as soon as they are able. Or feel that I'm in danger.

I want to express how very grateful I am for you all taking time out of your life to send kind words. It cheers me knowing I'm not alone.

I will give you an update.

Be Blessed by the Deuty (Deities)
Nocturnal blessings of Hecate and Nyx.
Mama?

[Firebird]

Thinking of you dear, have lost 3 myself. I have a small box with their names , dry flowers from the days after, and some poems. I break it out around April every year, and remember the children lost. You can still have your memorial service, or make a shrine somewhere, or the memory box. Be good to yourself right now, and get extra rest. They should have done a D and C after, maybe they will now. I hope you feel better soon.
Blessings, Firebird

[MOTHERofDRAGONS]

I did that...
After I saw what you put, but didn't have the time to respond.
A tiny box with a name, I keep to myself. Some beautiful flowers, a tiny vial of water, a pentacle, and DragonsBlood, because I was born the year of the Dragon.. In '76. A little "from mama" ..."see you soon...watch over me, I love you"..
I tried talking to another obgyn, my blood work, a fluke, was currupted.. Who knows.
Thank you all, again, for your gentle sweet words...
It's nice to know, this doesn't shatter lives
I'm dealing with a pain management doctor who doesn't believe that I was there last month, when I have a script, that proves otherwise.
Who are these receptionists on power trips? Anyhow.. I wanted to thank you, again...

Mama

[YanaKhan]

I'm so sorry for your loss, MOTHERofDRAGONS!
I can't begin to imagine what it's like to lose a child. I had an abortion in February and I know how confused and shattered I was, even though it was my decision to do it.
I hope you get better soon. Sending healing thoughts your way.

[Moonfire]

I cannot even begin to fathom what it would be like to lose your own flesh and blood before they ever even had the chance to live. I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that your child's next life will be one filled with opportunity and love.

Also, the medical staff you are describing is appalling. I am going to school to go into the medical field and I hope to set a good example of how those in the medical profession should be.

[Nightwatcher]

I'm sorry Mother Dragon! I have yet to even have a child at all, and I know my imagining the sadness doesn't come close to it but still, I send my deep condolences. I'll pray the little sweetheart is safe in the Afterlife; I'm sure they're watching over you and waiting patiently to finally see you when you Time comes. I don't think your child blames you in the least; children are sweet, pure beings when born, with no malice, only unconditional love.

As a side note, I'm sorry you got such horrible treatment. When my mother was in labor with my younger brother (her second child) it was Friday afternoon. The doctor made some BS story about how her water broke and she'll have a miscarriage if they didn't induce (when she had me, it was with no pain killers or inducing, so she knows how water breaking feels) and scared her. She agreed but refused pain killers. Fast-foreword to my father finally able to arrive from work and her heart rate is LITERALLY OFF THE CHARTS!! My mother was begging the doctor to lower the inducing dose but the doctor refused! My father threatened to knock his lights out (my dad's a big, burly guy) and was making a HUGE scene, and thus forced him to lower the dose (though my mom said it was still hell). My dad was terrified he would lose both his child and his wife because that *explicit* wanted to get out early on a Friday afternoon instead of doing his job.

I'm in business so I understand the money side, but medicine honestly was made to heal and help, not make money, scare people, shove drugs into them when not needed and dismiss people's worries!! The medical system right now upsets me so much at how callous it treats its patients.

Please heal soon! Blessed Be.

[MOTHERofDRAGONS]

I cannot even begin to fathom what it would be like to lose your own flesh and blood before they ever even had the chance to live. I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that your child's next life will be one filled with opportunity and love.

Also, the medical staff you are describing is appalling. I am going to school to go into the medical field and I hope to set a good example of how those in the medical profession should be.

There are a lot of gret medical personnel out there, but I seem to fall into bad dr offices!


Night watcher, my first child, 25 hrs of Hard labor, before the hard labor set in, 2 days of small Braxton Hicks type pain... They refused to induce me.. She was born on June 22. She would have been on Litha, but they insisted I wait. My son, they did induce, but the pain killers only numbed my bottom right leg. Ugh... 4 hrs of labor, no doc or anesthesiologist or ..anyone was there, when he was crowning. They were screaming at me not to push. .. Terrifying, cause he came out with fluid on his lungs, with jaundice. The doc didn't want to work the weekend, and I was dilated 2 cm, but instead of mother nature set course, he put it on the methamphetamine highway. (so to speak) ..same doc as my first hills, we (all three) were born in same hospital. I think that was the omen right then...

No one there to give me support. My ex was there, but, he was off in the car getting doped up. My second, he came too quickly, so I felt very alone with a small town doctor. (up in North Eaast Texas)

Yana Khan, I'm pro choice. I understand there are situations were its simply an impossible situation, from your and baby's well being, to money, to "it taking a village" when everyone is so... "private" and sheltering their loved ones. . Young mothers can benefit from older mothers, or mothers with older children, or Crones, with a wealth of knowledge they have gathered through their lives. But people seem to throw away older people in homes and such, so new mothers are just thrown into a life that's traumatic "no manual", no advice, no help.. It's a vicious cycle and i think more people should adopt in in the country they live in.. instead of going over seas. .. Not that that's wrong.. It just helps the children know their heritage and such..

Thanks you again, all of you

M.Dragons

[Nightwatcher]

Oh GODS I can practically see Lady Artemis pitching a fit with how poorly your births were handled!! I am SO sorry. I wish there was a way to know which doctors are genuinly knowlegable and have your best interest... there's gotta be a way... it's just rediculous!