Help for my daughter....

[missmelodygrace]

I am not sure if this is the right board for this I will happily move it if you can point me in the right direction.

My daughter is 14 years old and like most teenagers can be loving and kind one moment then a monster the next. Recently she has been bothered by something it has taken me a few weeks to get her to talk to me about it but today she did.

She thinks she maybe going mad? She has said that for awhile now she keeps thinking she sees people where there is no one. She recently said that she saw someone looking through the window in the school hall which her friends hadn't seen. She say's that she see's them but when she looks closely they have gone. She says that she hears voices whispering but can't make out the words.

Now part of me thinks maybe it is just a little bit of teenage drama that she is fantasising about but she seems genuinely scared and upset by it. And is more concerned that she has some kind of mental health issue...

I haven't mentioned any of this to her but I genuinely wonder if she maybe has some kind of gift.

I have had empath abilities as long as I can remember and certainly I was aware of it at 14. I don't want to plant ideas into her head, but I wonder if anyone out there has any ideas if this has happened to others at this age? is there anything I can do to help her? I am making an appointment with her gp to have any physical issue ruled out.

I would appreciate any help or advice.

[Nightwatcher]

It's been my experience that people with abilities experience a second "awakening", if you will during puberty. So she may genuinely be able to hear and see beings from other planes and realms of reality.

Now, it these voices are telling her to harm or kill people, then you may want to see a doctor. But if she genuinely does have the ability, she'll still be able to discern right from wrong, etc.

[SnowCat]

She's at the right age for it to be the beginning of a psychosis, or the awakening of a gift. What you described, sounds more like the awakening of a gift. I would encourage her to share her experiences, just on a conversational level. If she mentions anything about hurting herself or others, that's definitely a red flag.

Snow

[missmelodygrace]

Thank you both.

One of my first questions was what the voices were saying. She said she couldn't hear specific words only an awareness of someone whispering behind her. She shows no signs of self harm or any intention of it.

I will continue to talk to her about it.

I wonder if anyone has any suggestions of ways she can learn to control it. She keeps asking me how she can make it stop

[Shub Niggurath]

Hearing voices is one of the most common symptoms of a psychotic episode (schizophrenia). BUT people who have schizophrenia can usually understand what the whispers are saying - your daughter can't, which might be a good sign.
Still, that doesn't mean that her gifts are awakening and, in my opinion, it would be best if you could take her to a neurologist or a neuropsychologist (I'd avoid psychiatrists at first) to get your daughter's brain and cognitive abilities tested. It might as well be some kind of a neurological anomaly and it's best to be aware of it before it potentially gets worse. It might be the gifts but it might be health issues as well. Or even both at the same time. It's best to run brain tests and be sure than sorry.

As for suggestions - regular meditation. She needs to calm down, stop being worried and thinking that she's going mad (I know, it's hard). Through regular meditation she will be able to find an Oasis in her mind when she sees or hears the hallucinations. Maybe yoga classes could help as well.
Also, it's important to explain to her that having hallucinations doesn't necessarily mean that she's going crazy. There are some neurological diseases which cause hallucinations only due to some kind of a "brain/perception error", and people live with it. As long as she's not losing her consciousness, listening to the whispers or doing any other kinds of "crazy" stuff, she will be fine. Maybe you could watch a scientific documentary about perception, hallucinations or rare neurological diseases together? That could help her see that it's not a tragedy and our brain is just as imperfect as an aging computer hard drive

Oh, and it is true that the "special abilities" usually awaken at around 14. Talk to her about that. Tell her what you believe it could be and how you personally deal with it (I assume you're a witch). Don't push her though. She just might want to have a normal life right now - get rid of the hallucinations and be like her friends. Her comfort and health should come first.

[Nightwatcher]

While I agree with Levitating Cat about possibly seeing a neurologist, I would caution against telling them you're "looking" for something. The reason being is that if you specify that you're worried about something or that X symptoms are worrying, they may purposefully look for them and tell you something is there when it's not. While it may be a bit paranoid, I've had too many horrible experiences with doctors at the point not to worry. Especially since this is about a still-developing-girl's mind.

Maybe say you simply want to have a check-up. Usually this will increase the likelihood that they will be honest and not confuse you and change something that's not there into something that is there.

[SnowCat]

That's good advice from Nightwatcher. If you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras. Another question just occurred to me. Has your daughter incurred any closed head injury? If she has, even if it was quite a while ago, be aware that such an injury can have long term side effects. Sending love and light to both of you.

Snow

[Sakura Blossom]

I'm going to offer my psychology major information here, and hopefully help you out!

I can say with about 90% confidence, that it's probably not psychosis. When someone is suffering from psychosis, they will know who is saying what and like Levitating Cat said, they will more than likely understand what's being said. This is because their mind's try to make excuses and believe that what they are seeing is 'real'. An example of psychosis being, "Oh, yes, I'm talking to Roger. He's a rabbit that likes to hang upside down on the ceiling". The fact that she is able to take a step back and look at the situation to recognize that this is strange, tells me that it's more than likely the awakening of a gift.

Now, this isn't to say that you shouldn't monitor her for any other signs or symptoms of physical and mental ailments alike, but I wouldn't be incredibly concerned just yet. Especially because (and I'm sorry, Snow, for having to disagree with you) psychosis symptoms usually show up around the age of 16. 14 years of age is not usually the age that someone begins to develop these symptoms and quite honestly, the average age is usually young adult (so about 20 - 30 years of age, but usually earlier 20's). Once again, not one situation is the same and I don't want you to take this as medical advice, but I'm sharing what I know on the subject as I do know quite a bit.

I also have to interject and say that perhaps watching movies/media about mental illness and hallucinations may not be the best idea to do with her. However, I think watching videos and documentaries about psychic ability may be a good route but I would hold off on this until you have a bit more concrete information. The last thing you'd want to do is to build her hopes up, thinking she has this kind of ability, only to find out she does not (though I personally feel she does).

As for advice on how to help her feel better! Help her see that it's nothing to be afraid of, and maybe have her try to pay more attention to what's going on around her? You could also try to teach her shielding, because if she shields herself and everything stops, then that's pretty much the answer right there (but once more, you may want to get her medically checked out just to eliminate anything potentially harmful).

Hopefully this helps somewhat! (:

[Nightwatcher]

I also have to interject and say that perhaps watching movies/media about mental illness and hallucinations may not be the best idea to do with her. However, I think watching videos and documentaries about psychic ability may be a good route but I would hold off on this until you have a bit more concrete information. The last thing you'd want to do is to build her hopes up, thinking she has this kind of ability, only to find out she does not (though I personally feel she does).

As for advice on how to help her feel better! Help her see that it's nothing to be afraid of, and maybe have her try to pay more attention to what's going on around her? You could also try to teach her shielding, because if she shields herself and everything stops, then that's pretty much the answer right there (but once more, you may want to get her medically checked out just to eliminate anything potentially harmful).

Hopefully this helps somewhat! (:

I agree. But another route may be not just shielding but to use her ability. I actually have the same ability as her that began to manifest around 12-13. Unfortunately I did not meet my mentor until around 16 so I was having to deal with it alone; that was a nightmare!! @-@ So learn to shield, definitely, but maybe also once she has that down to use her ability so it's not sporadic.

[SnowCat]

No worries Sakura. I look at things like this from a nurse's perspective and from my experience working with behavior populations. I think we're all on the same page with wanting this to have a good outcome.

Snow

[Sakura Blossom]

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I do as well, Nightwatcher, and that is why I'm suggesting she shield first (which I know you're saying to do to). (: It's very difficult to learn how to use it if you're afraid of it, because then you won't use it at all. If she's afraid now, I feel that shielding would be best so that she can feel comfortable knowing that there is a way to help her 'turn it off and on' and then begin to work on it as you said, but on her own time when she feels comfortable. However, there is also the chance she may not want to learn how to use it and if that is the case, shielding would be the best route as she needs to do what's comfortable for her. It all comes down to what she wants, and how she feels about the situation. (:

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Totally understandable! (: I'm coming from the psychotherapy standpoint. Haha. It's nice to see different areas of medicine coming together, and seeing differing ideas.

[Nightwatcher]

Very true Sakura.

[Shub Niggurath]

Psychosis is not the only thing that could cause visual and auditory hallucinations - as I mentioned, it could be caused by many things, mainly neurological. What I'm trying to say is that missmelodygrace's daughter is definitely not showing symptoms of a mental illness per se, which means that it's definitely worth checking what's happening - for her own safety.
And I wouldn't demonize a medical approach. Nobody's going to "see what's not there" or misinterpret stuff, okay? Doing any kinds of brain tests (EEG, CT, fMRI etc) will show exactly what - if anything - is going on. Those tests just can't be misinterpreted. And nobody's going to say that she's going crazy or whatever. I am a psychologist and if anyone came to me and told me what missmelodygrace wrote I'd tell the person to go to a neurologist in the first place because those are not signs of a mental illness.
I'll tell you why I'm stressing this so much. I had all these tests done myself in the past (when I was a teen) for a very similar reason and I can tell you it was definitely worth it. I found out exactly which symptoms were caused by neurological problems and which were my actual gifts - yes, it turned out that some things I was experiencing (and still am) were just my way of seeing things - perfectly normal even though impossible to be medically explained. And that's fine because I knew which things I was supposed to take care of and which were okay and not to be worried about.
In my opinion it's better to check if she has anything going on organically in her brain or not, right? I'm glad I got tested - otherwise my family would be worried about it till this day.
That doesn't mean it can't be spirituality-related. It most likely is! But health and psychological well-being comes first. How can she start developing her natural gifts if she's freaked out?

[Nightwatcher]

@Levitating Cat: I'm not meaning to demonize the medical approach. If it came across that way I apologize. I simply advocate for caution. To use the medical diagnosis as another piece of information before she makes a decision. I have had many friends misdiagnosed and they suffered a lot for it. Heck, even just last month - when I went to my usual dentist - I told him about the 4 fillings I had the last year from a different dentist and when he looked at the teeth x-rays he requested from the dentist who did the fillings a year ago, it turns out I only needed one of the fillings and the other 3 were false. That same dentists had said I had 6 cavities in total (4 on one side which he "fixed" and 2 on the other side) and overall my usual dentist said I only needed one filling.

Now, these are my teeth and minor cavities so it's not too bad. But medicine that directly effects the processes and chemistry of the brain? Yeah, I'd err on the side of caution. Especially since the girl in question is 14 and still developing. Yes, it is bad to ignore if there is a problem because it can lead to confusion and suffering. But at the same time, if you simply nod and agree with what the doctor says without thinking about it and seeing if it makes genuine sense, that's just as bad to me. A balance and informed decision-making is all I advise.

[Nevermore1]

I read more than I post. Just wanted to say definitely get her in with her GP and tell them all her symptoms. It may be nothing or it could be something minor or even serious. My Mom had similar symptoms due to a brain tumor, she would see things that weren't there. I don't mean to scare you but do make sure it gets checked out. I hope that it turns out to be nothing.