I got in a really bad accident Wednesday afternoon. I walked away with minor injuries.. But I took out a motorcyclist. It was his fault (witnesses contest to that), he was going 70mph and tried passing me on double yellow lines as I turned left. I didn't see him coming, I just went to turn exactly as I should and then came the impact.. My car spun once and a half around. My dog flew to the front seat. A second different, he would have T boned me at 70mph. His bike ended up behind my crushed car, and he flew 20 feet. By the time I got my car stopped, he was already unconscious with a witness standing over him. I instantly called 911. We had the streets all directions closed, 7 or 8 police cars/highway patrol, a fire car, two full sized fire trucks, three ambulances, and they had a helicopter land right there on the road to take him out of town to the trauma center. I go back and forth between numbness and bawling. That I saw, he never regained consciousness. I don't know what to think. I wasn't even supposed to be on that road at that time. All I can see is that man laying unmoving in a pool of blood surging out of his ears. Me this is nothing but I nightmare. Oh and my car might not be salvageable.
Then today I got the news.
He didn't make it.
I feel out of control. Everytime I see emergency vehicles: flip out. Hear sirens: flip out. Motorcycles: flip out. Speeding, screeching, anything: flip out. I can't sleep and I switch between sobbing uncontrollably to being numbed out and dissociated.
Is there anything I can do spiritually speaking to help this PTSD (I already have that from my abuse so I know that's what the symptoms are)? My therapist, sponsor, and psychiatrist have all brought up the psych ward but I'm resisting and am not an immediate danger to myself. Please help me. I can't believe this.
How do I cope?
Re: How do I cope?
I am so sorry you had to go through all that. I honestly wish I could help. I don't really know what to do spiritually. I will send positive, healing thoughts your way.
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Seraphin
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Re: How do I cope?
Hiya Onyx!
I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. Are you blaming yourself? Remember that it's not your fault. You don't want that to happen, right? The accident that just happened was beyond your control. Some difficult situations like that are best handled by removing yourself from their area of influence, this is not always the most viable solution.
Thinking of circumstances in which there's tremendous negative impact on ourselves, we have to ask, "Can we change this situation we're in right now for ourselves?' The answer sometimes is yes, and the only set of question that remains is, "Ok so how we are going to do it and when we are going to get started?" If our answer is no then, "how can we make this better for ourselves?"
Really often the answer lies in changing the way we perceive the situation: Most probably, we'd prefer not to have to deal with this, but we do have to, and because we can do nothing to improve this for ourselves, our best option is to stop struggling with the fact that we're struggling, and deal with the discomfort in a way that nurtures us. (All that to describe the process of finding "acceptance".)
Acceptance is not something that's come easily to us I know, and for years our response perhaps to the very notion is, "But I don't want to accept this! This is hard!" And yet the circumstance remains the same whether you want to accept it or not. Fact. Your choice, then, is between letting it eat you alive or finding a more peaceful and – dare I say it – loving way of dealing with it.
Acceptance doesn't mean just lying down and taking whatever comes; the balance is in maintaining vigilance for opportunities to improve our situation while not fretting over the lack of such opportunities. Acceptance doesn't mean we'll never feel the feelings we're feeling right now or recall the accident; it's simply an acknowledgement that some irksome and painful things are natural aspects of living. Acceptance in any situation is less about how we feel than it is about what we do in dealing with how we feel.
I'm thinking of psychospiritual ways now that could either tap into those resources of the soul that may enable you to overcome the trauma, or more deeply disempower you into fear and nightmare. And the only thing I can think of is contacting your spirit community (if you have) and ask them to give you some guidance and comfort that you desperately need now.
Sometimes it's necessary to do a considerable amount of "clearing" also before (or immediately after) one steps through.
I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. Are you blaming yourself? Remember that it's not your fault. You don't want that to happen, right? The accident that just happened was beyond your control. Some difficult situations like that are best handled by removing yourself from their area of influence, this is not always the most viable solution.
Thinking of circumstances in which there's tremendous negative impact on ourselves, we have to ask, "Can we change this situation we're in right now for ourselves?' The answer sometimes is yes, and the only set of question that remains is, "Ok so how we are going to do it and when we are going to get started?" If our answer is no then, "how can we make this better for ourselves?"
Really often the answer lies in changing the way we perceive the situation: Most probably, we'd prefer not to have to deal with this, but we do have to, and because we can do nothing to improve this for ourselves, our best option is to stop struggling with the fact that we're struggling, and deal with the discomfort in a way that nurtures us. (All that to describe the process of finding "acceptance".)
Acceptance is not something that's come easily to us I know, and for years our response perhaps to the very notion is, "But I don't want to accept this! This is hard!" And yet the circumstance remains the same whether you want to accept it or not. Fact. Your choice, then, is between letting it eat you alive or finding a more peaceful and – dare I say it – loving way of dealing with it.
Acceptance doesn't mean just lying down and taking whatever comes; the balance is in maintaining vigilance for opportunities to improve our situation while not fretting over the lack of such opportunities. Acceptance doesn't mean we'll never feel the feelings we're feeling right now or recall the accident; it's simply an acknowledgement that some irksome and painful things are natural aspects of living. Acceptance in any situation is less about how we feel than it is about what we do in dealing with how we feel.
I'm thinking of psychospiritual ways now that could either tap into those resources of the soul that may enable you to overcome the trauma, or more deeply disempower you into fear and nightmare. And the only thing I can think of is contacting your spirit community (if you have) and ask them to give you some guidance and comfort that you desperately need now.
Sometimes it's necessary to do a considerable amount of "clearing" also before (or immediately after) one steps through.
Seraphin
If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me.
If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me.
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Xiao Rong
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Re: How do I cope?
Onyx, I am truly sorry for what happened to both you and him, and I'm very thankful that you are okay. There's nothing that you could have done to make it better or prevent this from happening. It'll take time for you to heal; that you are still reeling from this shock is completely understandable. I know it's probably easy for me to say, but don't be too hard on yourself. You aren't to blame for this. Lots and love and light to you, Onyx.
~ Xiao Rong ~ 小蓉 ~ Little Lotus ~
Re: How do I cope?
onyx208 wrote: Is there anything I can do spiritually speaking to help this PTSD (I already have that from my abuse so I know that's what the symptoms are)? My therapist, sponsor, and psychiatrist have all brought up the psych ward but I'm resisting and am not an immediate danger to myself. Please help me. I can't believe this.
Wow, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It really can only be described as a nightmare. But I am so glad to see that you're talking to professionals about your mental health. Also, that you've decided to share this with us so we can be something of a support network for you (since there are few times a day when nobody is logged in, at least you won't be alone).
If you aren't feeling like self-harming, or harming others, then they can't force you to go into a ward. That option is always there if feel you ever need it though, so there is that.
I hope they've given you some other tools to help you cope in the meantime. The numbness, shock, and tears are all entirely normal. It's not something that happens to everyone, and it's definitely not a common occurrence for anyone on a regular basis (unless of course you're an EMT or in law enforcement). But for the rest of us? We would all be reacting the same way. Although I know a fair few people who would have simply shut the world out and refused to talk to a therapist, doctor, friends, etc... So kudos to you for taking the steps to take care of yourself! It will help you in the long run.
I'm sure it can't be easy opening up about the details of something like that so soon afterwards, that takes some kind of inner strength.Coping, when it comes to such harsh events and so shortly after, pretty much comes down to working with the moments and making plans. Try to have a game plan for your day (work, watch a movie, do dishes, laundry, read, write, check the forum, etc...). Write it down if you need to. Try to make sure you're doing something to distract yourself for the majority of the day. Make sure you keep a list of people you can call if you need a distraction; friends, family, your therapist or doctor, a hotline. Make a list of places you can go if you feel like you need a change of scenery to get your mind out of a painful place (I'm a fan of the local coffee shop and bookstore). After awhile, the normalcy should start to come back around. But you need to let yourself grieve properly, and that's often the hardest part because sometimes it can take some time to do that. With PTSD, I'm sure you know that already. But the best way to heal is to really feel your pain properly and allow yourself to understand it, and then allow it to heal. You'll learn from it, you'll become stronger for it (I know it's kind of a morbid thought,but stronger in the sense of having developed new perspectives and understanding), and you will recover in time.
So I need to ask, is your dog alright?
Keep us updated if you want, you can say as much or as little as you want to. But I, for one, will always provide a listening ear if you need it.
Re: How do I cope?
I can't thank y'all enough for the suoport.
The images, sounds, sensations won't leave my head.
My dog is fine. He was shook up the day it happened, and though he is always highly attached to me, he has been even more clingy. He doesn't seem upset, more like he's concerned for me and wants to support me. He's my temple dog.
The images, sounds, sensations won't leave my head.
My dog is fine. He was shook up the day it happened, and though he is always highly attached to me, he has been even more clingy. He doesn't seem upset, more like he's concerned for me and wants to support me. He's my temple dog.
Re: How do I cope?
Dear Onyx, I have great empathy for you, as you are now probably screaming why, why, why him why me why now why did this happen...the answer is, there is no answer.
I don't really know what to say, everyone has great advise and mine would be to pray, for his crossing, his family and for yourself.
Motorcycle riders are taking a risk when they ride, and they have a larger responsibility to stay safe when they ride.
Your story is hard, because I know you will be feeling this tragedy for years to come. It brought my head on collision with a biker right back.
His fault... cafe' racing in a canyon. I grieve for you and with you. The biker I hit survived but will walk with a limp forever, ( I flash, to the heap he was under the bridge we were on) and this was over 35 years ago. I used to ride motorcycles but have only a couple times since then, even the best rider is taking a chance.
PTSD is a monster we have in common...
I am completely available if you wish to PM me.
I am so sorry this happened.
Blessings, Firebird
I don't really know what to say, everyone has great advise and mine would be to pray, for his crossing, his family and for yourself.
Motorcycle riders are taking a risk when they ride, and they have a larger responsibility to stay safe when they ride.
Your story is hard, because I know you will be feeling this tragedy for years to come. It brought my head on collision with a biker right back.
His fault... cafe' racing in a canyon. I grieve for you and with you. The biker I hit survived but will walk with a limp forever, ( I flash, to the heap he was under the bridge we were on) and this was over 35 years ago. I used to ride motorcycles but have only a couple times since then, even the best rider is taking a chance.
PTSD is a monster we have in common...
I am completely available if you wish to PM me.
I am so sorry this happened.
Blessings, Firebird
“There are things known and things unknown and in between are the Doors.”
― Jim Morrison
“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”
― RWEmerson
― Jim Morrison
“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”
― RWEmerson
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AdastraJunction
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Re: How do I cope?
It is a dreadful tragedy when accidents like these happen, we are all here for you but I would also suggest talking with a counselor to get you through this. It is easy to place blame on ourselves when things are not in our control. These things happen, people make poor choices, it was not essentially your fault as the rider took the risk when you were obeying the laws. It does not make this any less sad only that you should not place all that pain and blame on your own shoulders. As FF stated make a prayer for his passing and to the family and as I stated before seek out a counselor if it becomes to much for you to handle on your own.
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Blackthorn
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Re: How do I cope?
Onyx, I am sending many positive and healing thoughts, and virtual hugs, your way. Know that you always have a community and support group here. *hugs*
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Winter Wind
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Re: How do I cope?
I'm really sorry, it's not easy to go through these things. Remember that we're all here if you ever need! :wink2:
It's definitely not your fault, you can't blame yourself, since this guy was driving so madly, he would have crashed with anyone else, it just happened. As Firebird and Adastra said, he took all the risks when he did that.
Give yourself time, a distraction, like Vesca said will do wonders for you.
Sending you love and Reiki!
It's definitely not your fault, you can't blame yourself, since this guy was driving so madly, he would have crashed with anyone else, it just happened. As Firebird and Adastra said, he took all the risks when he did that.
Give yourself time, a distraction, like Vesca said will do wonders for you.
Sending you love and Reiki!
“To play a wrong note is insignificant; to play without passion is inexcusable.”
Beethoven
Beethoven
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SnowCat
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Re: How do I cope?
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. PTSD can be a mess to deal with. Working out can help. I understand PTSD. Pm me if you need to.
Snow
Snow
Daughter of Sekhmet
Re: How do I cope?
Onxy, I am so sorry that you are in this situation. This is one of situations that turns your life around in a matter for few minute and you can no longer go back how things were... I can't imagine how you are feeling *Hugs*
If I start looking at this from a spiritual stand point, here is a thought that crossed my mind. When something of this intensity and magnitude happens to us, I can't help but wonder if there is a spiritual aspect to it. I agree with others that the guy was driving reckless and he would have crashed with someone if not you. But for some weird way this fate works, it ended up being you. Sometimes I stand back and try to understand why I was put at a certain path to intersect someone else's in a certain way. Please understand, I don't say this as a bad thing. I am saying that if anything you should only explore this spiritually and not place blame on yourself. Please take care of yourself.
If I start looking at this from a spiritual stand point, here is a thought that crossed my mind. When something of this intensity and magnitude happens to us, I can't help but wonder if there is a spiritual aspect to it. I agree with others that the guy was driving reckless and he would have crashed with someone if not you. But for some weird way this fate works, it ended up being you. Sometimes I stand back and try to understand why I was put at a certain path to intersect someone else's in a certain way. Please understand, I don't say this as a bad thing. I am saying that if anything you should only explore this spiritually and not place blame on yourself. Please take care of yourself.