So my father is a 20 year veteran of the marines, and 10 year veteran of the army. He saw some nasty things overseas. He also had to handle dead bodies of soldiers ( he did this job so the younger soldiers wouldn't have to, as he's been through this before ). However the last tour he did, really messed up his psyche. He has horrible nightmares of violence, and handling the dead bodies. Essentially the vision is burned into his head. He is having a hard time coping with these visions and nightmares he has told me ( and this is coming from a man who taught me how to meditate and astral travel before the age of 10.. so he is very in-tune with the divine you could say ) however he continues to struggle with this. He tried turning to alcohol to self medicate; but obviously that only furthered the issue as alcohol is a depressant. I've made some crystal amulets that help him with the alcoholism (amethyst) and others for sleeping.
What I'm asking here is for ANYTHING. Natural homeopathic related that anybody thinks would be beneficial ( he does see a psych regularly as well as attending meetings ). I'm just wanting to help him in anyway possible. At night I've been doing a sleep tea that helps me rest. Lemon balm, peppermint, and cinnamon. However I'm sure there are other concoctions that you all know of. Whether it be for depression, anxiety, ptsd, sleep, nightmares, etc. Like I stated. Anything beneficial. I've been experimenting with many different things; just have yet to find something rock solid. So I'm turning this over to you guys at the moment! I'm not expecting any miraculous miracle cures via potions. I just think that there are others out there who may have some pointers with herbs that could potentially help my father's situation.
Thanks for reading
diligentibus te dilectio qua dilexisti me , sic fiat
I sympathize. Lavender essential oil might help. It can be used in a sachet or mixed with water in a spray bottle. Just something to provide a soothing scent. Magnesium citrate supplements at bedtime might help too. Magnesium is a natural muscle relaxer. Time is likely to be the most effective healer. Mine stems from a different source, but time has helped me a lot.
The professional and group support is what's going to do the most healing in the long run, but alternate methods may help ease him through the harsher moments and keep him from "drowning" in his own memories/feelings/etc...
Have you considered making a talisman? An object he can carry with him whose job it is to remind him of better/happier things that are worth fighting for? It's best to make them during a time when he's happy, grateful, and positive (basically, feeling the emotions that you want to have the reminder be of).
Alternatively, you could make something like a talisman that stays in a special place in the home and is placed in a spot where he would look at it often. Particularly if he is having a tough moment (i.e. if he tends to sit on a certain couch/chair, place it on a table near that chair or on a wall where it's hard to be missed from that position).
The idea of using scent is a good idea. What scent you use may depend on your father's preferences, and what he associates each scent with. You want something that he won't associate with negativity and that is either associated mildly with positivity or has no former associations but is either relaxing or grounding. Sometimes even something stimulating can help break the mental cycle (lemongrass).
Making a habit of going outside (in a safe place that won't trigger any memories) on a regular basis can really help keep one's mind on the immediate reality. Especially if we're prone to watching nature regularly and it provides a sense of calm and stability - that we are all a part of the universe and we have a place within it, but we don't control it in the slightest. Just that sense of belonging, of observing, of being able to observe, can sometimes be a very helpfully grounding factor.
Routines are a biggie. Not just routines of how to come down from an episode, but weekly or bi-weekly routines to keep your mind moving forward in the present reality instead of the past or the "what if" mentality. This is where actively celebrating the new and full moons can be extremely healing. Because they happen no matter what, and it only takes a little bit of awareness and some planning to maintain that routine. Since it's not under your control at all, you're forced to celebrate it on certain days and your normal routines for those events can develop as time goes forward (which also gives you something else to focus on). Plus if you're already oriented in a more lunar-focused paganesque way, it's a good familiar to ground to get some personal control and bearing in.
Other routines can include things like what to do after you get home from work/events/whatever, waking up routines, pre-sleep routines, "every Tuesday I visit x" routines, etc... The mind is the limit.
But really, what's going to be the longest and most critical factor of his healing is going to be the professional help. We can't fix it if we can't face it and work through it in a safe way, and it changes a person's understanding and world view forever. There's never a cure in that sense, just a shifting of perception and understanding and reinstating a form of control where it can be found. Anxiety issues are complicated like that, and the biggest thing with PTSD and other anxiety issues is that they're a body's natural reaction to an abnormal situation and there's no way to rationally tell someone who's lived through that traumatic event(s) that it's not a rational understanding or world view. Because it happened, it was real, and there's no law (natural or man-made) that will ever keep it from happening again.
But it can get better. It's a process, and it takes time as Snow said, and it will make one work for that sense of grounding again, but it can get better.
Thank you for the generous and kind responses everyone, it means a lot!!!
Snowcat, Lavender oil does help! However he can find it overpowering at times being overkill. But a linen spray does him nicely at night.
Vesca, I'm actually in the process of getting various stones together for a amulet. And for placing some by his bedside, and by his favorite chair while he watches the telly. He works almost full time outdoors even at his age, so the routine and being outdoors helps him tremendously. he will come home from work ( as long as other people aren't getting on his nerves ) and be in high spirits. I will try and get him to go on walks with me, as I do go hiking or walking daily.
Today I also got a few stones for insomnia and nightmares. And also some hops leaves. I made a satchel of it and its now under his pillow. I'll see how that goes tonight!
Thanks again everyone, so kind.
diligentibus te dilectio qua dilexisti me , sic fiat
I've also found that lavender can be a bit much. I like to use it very sparingly. Just a reminder of the scent. Jasmine helps me too, as does Lily of the Valley. I can't tolerate the smell of Easter Lilies. I associate them with gangrene, due to some unsettling experiences when I worked in a hospital. Some things just can't be unseen and unsmelled. I have the idea that your dad has a lot of that going on.
I'm a bit late to the thread but if you're still interested I'm offering my services as an Energy Healer on this forum. If he would be interested I can take a look at him and see if there is anything I could do for him.
GodsLovingLight wrote:I'm a bit late to the thread but if you're still interested I'm offering my services as an Energy Healer on this forum. If he would be interested I can take a look at him and see if there is anything I could do for him.
Lee
Not late at all!
Anyone can jump in on this thread at anytime!!
Send me a pm on what we need to do and we can work something out
diligentibus te dilectio qua dilexisti me , sic fiat
I have never served in the military, but a number of my family members have. I've also deal with my own self-hate on a regular basis. So I sympathize with your situation.
The structure of the Self is interesting. My impression of it is that there's the image of who we know we are and who we want to be, and there's the image of what we hate about ourselves based on what we've done in the past. The classic God vs Satan.
This creates a scism in the mind that can be difficult to rationalize. How can I be this person based on this evidence? How can God and the Devil harmonize?
For me, the beginning of the path towards recovering from hating the Self was starting from the beginning, running through all of my memories, and accepting them completely. No matter how terribly messed up I perceived them to be.
In essence, the techniques produces a disconnection from present emotional response and past memories. It certainly takes time and strength to accept some things about ourselves. And sometimes the Ego doesn't allow it because of some inane definition.
Is the V.A. helping him at all?
there is a program based here in California for vets and others that involves drumming and other strategies ,
called the Raven Drum Foundation it was started by the drummer from Def Leppard, after he lost his arm and developed PTSD.
lemme see if I can find the link..
oh, ok they are calling it Project Resiliency which was founded by Raven Drum https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source= ... B6QtaJsaEQ
They also have a facebook link https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source= ... YSmbuUf9sw
best wishes to him
I have found drumming to be helpful, we used to go to Sunday night drumming at Venice Beach but I haven't been in a long time.
Bb, Firebird
“There are things known and things unknown and in between are the Doors.”
― Jim Morrison “All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”
― RWEmerson
This post popped into my head this evening and your father. I hope everything is okay. How is he doing?? Sending healing thoughts and kind light your way-
Hi dualhands...
I also served in the corps and am a combat veteran, I don't have the answer because everyone is different in how they process the experience. After nine years of counseling and medication my mother convinced me to see someone about energy healing, that was the turning point in my recovery. Three months ago I was finally able to experience love for myself again and I think that is the key to getting past the nightmare. The things I did and the things I experienced are still there, they always will be. The counseling has helped me deal with that. But I must say that in my experience it wasn't until I forgave myself and learned to love myself again that I really started to heal. If you have questions on anything specific or in general please let me know, I'd be happy to help in anyway possible.
One of the things that I found with my PTSD, is avoiding the triggers when I can. That sounds like the classic no brainer, but it can actually be rather difficult. My latest round involved my having a nearly full blown tantrum prior to my shoulder surgery. The anesthesiologist insisted that I had to be incubated and vented for the surgery. I told him that was absolutely not happening. I wake up not knowing who I am, where I am, and completely inarticulate. He very condescendingly told me that's a normal reaction to anesthesia. I told him, in no u certain terms, that I refused to go through hell again, and that he would be using a less invasive method of anesthesia. I had a similar conversation with the surgeon's PA last year. She informed me that she was be switching me to tramadol to wean me off my post op percocet. I informed her that she was be providing me with her personal cell phone number in that case, so the I could call her when my screaming nightmares woke me up at three a.m. In the immortal words of the Wayans Bros, "Homey don't play that."
I do hope that you and your Dad are doing alright and taking it day by day. My partner is retired from the Candian Forces and he has PTSD and all the fun stuff that goes with it. Each person is so different, and it's nearly impossible to say what is right. I suffered from PTSD after my dad was killed traumatically and I wouldn't presume to say what would work for you guys. It is hard living with somebody that you love so much and seeing them in pain. My partner is in pain and he can be a hard person to live with as a result of this.
Vesca and Snow Cat have really covered it in depth and I especially appreciate how Vesca sums up PTSD as the body's reaction to an unnatural sutuation. Snow Cat is entirely correct. Avoid the triggers. The amygdala and the hippocampus are so intricate and there are very complex organic processes going on in the brain. The pathways of panic are so strong and it isn't something one feels like they can control when it happens. What I experienced after my Dad and subsequent triggers felt like what some peoples refer to as "soul loss". Many cultures discuss this in depth. The advice Vesca gave about being outside resonated with me, because I feel that grounding is very important. For me grounding and being in the moment is of huge importance. Meditation is great, but many people in this situation can not even begin to calm themselves. That would be like asking an infant to tango. Depends on the person for sure, but my partner looked at me like I was a crazy person for suggesting this. In my work setting we practiced mindfulness in those awful moments with people experiencing extreme anxiety. In moments of panic we might ask a student to sit and then we gently prompt them for five things they hear, see, feel....etc. anything to switch their brains over from panic.
In terms of the home and my partner, he is not open to talismans, or "woo woo" witchy treatments. He has a team of psychologists, doctors and medications, and so I wouldn't look at internal medicinal herbal solutions like valerian for him. He is a western biomedical kind of man. What I can do is maintain our home space and cleanse it from negativity and fill it with love. So that would be cleaning it properly, and then cleaning it spiritually (smudging, lighting it up etc) the smudging I do when he is out. There is a lot of deep dark negativity that builds up in a house when people are dealing with this. It needs to be cleared and then filled with the good stuff often. I prepare good, healthy and healing foods that have love and healing intent poured into them. I light anointed or specially created candles (which he thinks are ambient chick-decor) but they are filled with healing calming intent.
I love that your Dad is open to what you do for him. In the end I think that your love is the greatest talisman he could ever have. It's a long hard road. There are no easy solutions. I wish you both healing and strength and tonight I will light my candle for you both.
What worked for my husband (10 years active duty US Army combat medic with 2 tours under his belt) and for me (Traumatic Brain Injury + PTSD after a major horse riding accident) as follows:
For me: Bach's Rescue Remedy, lots of outdoor exercise (horse riding and dog walking and running) and Alexander Technique. I never got to a professional psychologist/psychiatrist, but the AT kind of stepped in as a replacement as it "resets" your mind/body connection in ways you can't imagine.
For my husband: Therapy (called Soldier 360 - specifically aimed at returning soldiers) yoga/meditation, and when he met me - Bach's RR as well, and someone to talk to who never judged, never questioned, never asked why and never asked him to talk about it unless he wanted to.
We also still both drink chamomile tea and something from my country called Rooibos tea. Both are soothing, caffeine free and calming.
Good luck to your father, and you too - and it's wonderful that you are so supportive: that's a major thing for PTSD sufferers as well.
I hope you find what works for him and I hope your patience knows no limits, as that's very important too. My husband (and apparently me as well, but he didn't have to deal with it as I was already 6 years into recovery after my accident when we met) was quite a difficult person during those recovery years and he sometimes has relapses if he gets too stressed. He is also on medication: fexofenadine but that was actually a more recent thing thanks to the stress of his current unit's complete idiocy impacting on his life in too many ways. This is another reason he and I are so glad to be leaving this unit.
"It's often a person's mouth that broke their nose." - old Irish saying.
I listen more than I speak - don't mistake that for lack of opinion.
