Helping Two Cats to Get Along

[AllJet]

Hi All,

I have two rescue cats. One is Hurley, 4.5 yr old male, extremely docile, submissive and lovable. The other is Missy, a 2 year old tortie girl who is definitely a princess with some tortitude. Hurley was with us first, we've had him for about 4 years now, then a few months after moving into our new house, I saw a request for help from the local humane society for some fosters that had experience with rescues/scared cats. Having helped my mom raise a feral cat (who eventually came out of her shell) and given that Hurley was a semi-feral kitten living under a dumpster when he was rescued at 4-ish months, I applied. We are pretty sure that we will adopt Missy, so for all intents and purposes we consider her our cat.

Missy has a bit of an attitude and likes to be treated like a queen. She wants the best spot on the bed, the most attention, first dibs at the food, etc. She is the dominant one. They will have their moments where they cuddle together (especially when people come over and they both hide under the covers together). But lots of times Missy will chase Hurley away and out of the bedroom, off of the bed, away from some treats, etc. She is also extremely playful and will sometimes chase Hurley out of play, but lots of times it is dominance. I have also caught her biting the back of his neck (they are both fixed by the way) a few times, and then a couple times I saw him doing the same thing to her which I thought was really out of character for him but he must have been fed up with the bullying! He will also flinch sometimes because he expects her to start something. But I must say that they have never had a fight before.

All I want to do is learn and understand how I can help them to get along better. Mainly I want them to be able to share the bed and I want her to stop swatting at him. We all know she's the boss. And Hurley is okay with that and he will never try and be the boss. I'm trying to work on my animal communication. I've read that animals pick up on your third eye images so I've been visualizing them sharing the bed together comfortably with space between them. Does anyone else have any ideas as to what I can do, either from an animal behaviour perspective, or from a wiccan perspective?

Would appreciate the help so much.

[RosieMoonflower]

How long have you had her now? I'm assuming all this will settle over time, since they do get along well for the most part. Are they sharing a litter box? They should each have their own. What a cool idea to visualize them cuddling together to get them to pick up on it. I've never heard of that before but super cool!

Rosie


Rosie

[SpiritTalker]

Have they got separate feeding bowls? separate snooze corners? I have two tortie females and "share" is not in their vocabulary if it's food.

[SnowCat]

You hit the nail on the head with tortitude. I have several calico and torties. It's apparently something genetic in the coloring. Every calico and tortie that I have ever had, over a 22 year span, has major cattitude. Twilight is currently my Queen of Cattitude. You will probably have to run interference for your boy, until Princess Pain in the Behind adjusts to the pecking order. You are the leader of the pride, but she hasn't accepted that. You have to keep working at setting boundaries for her. And Hurley needs the reassurance that you have his back. It usually gets better as they get older. Right now they're about the equivalent of middle school children.

Snow

[SpiritTalker]

All jet, what is your reaction when Missy swats Hurley? It should be something to reset you as head of the pack. Not scolding Missy. Just pick her up and set her down again in a different location. She is just protecting what is her perceived terrain. Y'know, the whole planet. It is not practical to move her every time she swats, so maybe just if you are on the bed. My torties will share the bed with the other cats - four all totaled - but not with each other. Sometimes I'm lucky they'll let Me in.

[AllJet]

Thanks everyone for your replies. Also, yes to two separate feeding stations, two separate litter boxes, and different snooze corners. We have had Missy for 6 months now so I am hoping that things will continue to improve, as it does seem that they do like the company of each other - sometimes.

Thank you both for the point about being the head of the pride. My initial reaction when she swats at him has been a stern "hey!", but obviously that doesn't really work and of course she doesn't really understand what that means. If she swats at him I pick her up and put her down on the ground. I do this sometimes but it would probably be much better if I'm consistent about it.

[AllJet]

You hit the nail on the head with tortitude. I have several calico and torties. It's apparently something genetic in the coloring. Every calico and tortie that I have ever had, over a 22 year span, has major cattitude. Twilight is currently my Queen of Cattitude. You will probably have to run interference for your boy, until Princess Pain in the Behind adjusts to the pecking order. You are the leader of the pride, but she hasn't accepted that. You have to keep working at setting boundaries for her. And Hurley needs the reassurance that you have his back. It usually gets better as they get older. Right now they're about the equivalent of middle school children.

Snow

So in terms of setting boundaries, should I be watching her when they are both eating? For example, when I feed them wet food, I put out two small dishes about 3 feet apart. Missy will go to the first bowl and start nibbling, then Hurley goes to the second one and starts eating. Usually after about 20 seconds Missy decides that she actually wanted Hurley's dish, so she goes and pushes him out of the way and then he walks over to the other dish to eat. When she starts to do that, should I gently correct her by picking her up and putting her back in front of her own dish? Or would that just be futile?

[SnowCat]

It sounds like they're working that out appropriately. As long as she's letting him eat, I wouldn't worry. I think he's humorist her on that one. If she becomes aggressive, and doesn't let him eat, then it's time to have a "Come to Bast" meeting.

Snow

[RosieMoonflower]

I agree with snow %100. I wouldn't worry about the feeding unless she acts aggressive about it. I believe in time, this will work it's self out and they will be lifelong best friends!


Rosie

[smogie_michele]

Make sure those litter boxes and feeding bowls are quite a few steps away from one another My boy cat gets territorial over them sometimes and this keeps him from guarding BOTH and once and allows our girl cat to eat and relief herself when she needs. We had to have three food bowls for a while; one was kept in the kitchen for dry food, and then we had two for their morning wet food- one had to be in the office and one had to be in the laundry room. It was the only way to keep fights from breaking out. Fortunately, they are much better now and can eat right next to one another.
I would also grab a cheap little toy from Walmart- one of those feathers on a string kind of deal- and play with Missy AND Hurley together. It will tire Missy out while engaging Hurely

Another suggestion is that if you can swing it financially (and I say that because these things CAN be pricey sometimes), purchase two cat towers to be put in two different locations in your home. They love the feeling of being up high and it will give both kitties a place of their own. For our kitties, it was a way of escaping the tyrant of a toddler that I often baby sat.