Inside BW's hectic mind

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IsaacIcarus
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by IsaacIcarus »

BW I lost my pentacle a while ago, too. I was so upset. Never did find it, but thankfully the necklace originally had two stars on it and I had hidden the second away, so I had a second to wear instead. Hope you find yours.
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RyukaAscendant
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by RyukaAscendant »

Best wishes in finding your pentacle. It's always hard but sometimes you find a new one that suits you! Lots of luck to you. :)
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Bychan Wulf
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by Bychan Wulf »

Thank you both.
I will consider buying some backup pentacles too :-)
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by Bychan Wulf »

Motivation comes in different forms
I had a few rough days and I lost my motivation and will to do anything. I just wanted to lay in my bed, alone and maybe sleep it off, untill everything went away.

I don't know if it's an empath thing or just me, but I am usually super positive, happy and optimistic. People around me, feel as good as I do when staying close to me. Well, if I have a bad day, it seems like Pandora's horror chest has been opened. People get depression, fight eachother, get hit by random things, have a lot of bad luck or are just angry without a rational explanation.

I decided I can't leave things like that, so I meditated, prayed and asked for motivation of some sort.
This morning, I received a fb message from a girl, randomly asking me about my choice for university.
I remembered that we met at the last simulation and befriended. But nothing serious, we just had fun, met two guys and went through some info together before the test. Before we got the subjects, and after we finished, we had a lot of fun visiting the campus.
The 3 were older than me and got in last year, while I still had to finish Highschool. We lost contact and never heard of any of them untill now.
She asked me about my plans and then, out of now where, just changed and started being very bossy. She told me I have to learn and she will ask me questions out of the chapters every evening. :shock:
She buggs me now, everytime I open my Internet connection. I'm not sure how this sounds to you, but I love it.
She cares, and I am still not sure why she wants to help me with advice, explanations, and questions.
I asked her why is she helping me, as I am used to help other people, but never asking for or receiving help.
She just said that I'm funny and she likes me. Oook, if she sais so...

I guess that was the motivation I was asking for. To be honest, it came in a very pleasant way. :-D
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Bychan Wulf
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by Bychan Wulf »

The downsides of the psychic gifts
I'm not sure if I'm clairaudient, but I've always been able to hear the alarm clock's vibration before ringing, my mom talking on the phone in the backyard, while being in the house, listening to music on headphones, I could tell if a phone will ring as soon as the connection is made, or just random people talking on the other side of the bus.
I like being able to do this. It has always been handy and lots of fun.
What I see as a drawback, is being able to hear those things while struggling to fall asleep. Last night, 2 cats were having a fight (again). I was the only one driven crazy by their meows; nobody believed me until the dogs from the neighbourhood started barking.
Right now, it's 12 p.m. I am trying to fall asleep but my neighbour is watching the national television, where protests are being streamed live. I can even tell who is saying what.
My other 19y.o. neighbour, just came home and has a fight with her mom. The mom will be even more pissed in the morning when she will find out that her daughter forgot to lock the metal gate.
So, because of that, I'm trying to tire myself so bad, that I will just fall asleep. The bad part is that I love sleeping lol.
What does someone have to do, to have a propper sleep? I guess going deaf would be the best solution...
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by Bychan Wulf »

An autoritary entity?
I did say in a preview post, that there is someone or something that is helping me find my stuff. I usually have a mess on my desk and in my drawers, but I do know where my things are. My mom hates it, so she organises everything so good that I can't find it any more. I loon in some places, make sure that what I'm looking for is not there and the I got the feeling I should take a look again. Big surprise; it's there. I'm not blind and am still way to young for Alzheimer's. This has been happening for years and was somehow helpful but I think the Fae or the spirit or whatever it is, is starting to become a little bit autoritary. I have the bad habbit of leaving things on the floor, like charger, books, my bag etc. and I think it hates it. Papers start flying off the table and it I have no reaction, heavier things start falling off. If I get up and put everything in it's place, it stops.
It becomes autoritary again, when I get distracted by the phone or tablet. It's fully charged now, and thirty minutes later, if I take a break from studying it is on 1%( when I'm not home, it lasts for 2 days even if I surf the Internet) or it just freezes, makes a buzz and it just gives me a crash. It's new, so it's not supposed to happen, but it does, and only when I'm at home.
Despite that, I can't say I fear it or feel anything evil. It seems a little bit maternal...maybe like a grammy. Both are still alive, so it's not my original one. If I can deal with 2 what's one more right?

PS. When I finish what I have set as a goal for studying, I think I get "pernission" :roll:
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Pallando
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by Pallando »

SnowCat wrote:I walk around the grocery store talking to myself. It's much easier than talking to other people.

Snow

I am a minority where I live.
I walk around the grocery store hearing dozens of conversations in Spanish and I dont not understand a word of it.
I have come to realize that Im glad I dont have to let others' petty troubles into my world at all..... its become like background music.
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by SnowCat »

I hear conversations in Spanish or in Russian, depending on which part of Denver I happen to be in. I understand some of the Spanish, but the Russian completely eludes me.

Snow
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by Bychan Wulf »

SnowCat wrote:I hear conversations in Spanish or in Russian, depending on which part of Denver I happen to be in. I understand some of the Spanish, but the Russian completely eludes me.

Snow
A few years ago I went to holiday to Turkey and people could only speak Russian as a foreign language. There were also only Russians and Ukrainians there. I came back after 10 days, speaking basic Russian. I seem to do that with every language. I'm helpless lol
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by Bychan Wulf »

Setting things on fire
Two nights ago, my mom had to vent, so she slept over. After talking about things that stressed her and them us both, I wanted to get into bed and touched my "tiger-blanket" to get underneath.
Both me and my mom saw a blueish spark and then it smelled like smoke. The blanket took fire, from my hand :shock: That has never happened before and to be honest, it scares me. :anxious:
After calming down, I tried to brush it with my hand. Blue sparks kept showing up, but it didn't take fire any more. My mom also tried that, but not even a single spark came out.
If one of you have any idea what this is or how it can be controlled, don't be shy on sharing.
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by Bychan Wulf »

Dealing with the sparks
Like I said in the previous post, I set my blanket on fire and had no idea why. I think I found a possible explanation:
My hair is very thin and it gets electrostatic very often....like anytime I walk near a wall or stay close to someone it gets "glued" to it. Also, it just starts flowing when I take my hood or cap off.
Well, it is electrically charged and when the blanket touches it, it gets charged as well. I kept making sparkles for 2 hours last night, maybe another ASMR, but thankfully didn't make it take fire.
To be honest, the blue light that comes out is pretty pleasant and I kinda love it.
Controlling it is still a problem. Everything is fine, until I lose my zen state of mind. Then, well, things get electric...like literally.
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by Bychan Wulf »

Meeting a fellow empath
I have always known about my nature and purpose, but only learnt that it's a real thing. Reading about what makes an empath what he is, I started to recognise some in my class teacher I was talking about in a different post. She is like an older version of myself (I am talking about the personality) only with a weaker character.
What made me think she is an empath is that we both got a stomach ache when a class mate came with his severed finger bleeding from the doctor's cabinet and was crying because of the pain. She also talked to us about the existence and the effects of energetic vampires and the way she was talking about them made it clear that she felt it. She knows about shielding, and explained it to us so that it sounded like part of the literature.
Today, she had a really bad day. She started crying on the hallway and then came to hold her class. Everything was fine, untill I got a killer headache put of nowhere, went to the bathroom and got rid of it, but when I came back, the ache came back as well. I asked her about it and she told me her head was pounding and that she got some really sad news and she wanted to go home because of it.
It is usual for me to feel such things, but never that serious and hard, especially now, when the shield is working great. The only people that get past my shield with ease are other empaths I met in the meanwhile.
She is too different and things click to good in order not to be one.
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by Bychan Wulf »

An open minded friend
I told my best friend, when I started practicing the craft and named my practice Wicca, even though it is not exactly what I do, but it sounds less scary. She made fun of me a little and then we never spoke about it again. Today, we went to buy "marches" for the 1st of March to give to the teachers. Out of the blue, she comes to me and hands me a silver pentacle charm, saying that her grandmother, is a deep christian believer and always wants crosser, so she thought that I would also wish for a pentacle ( which she still calls a pentagram, but we don't have the word pentacle in our language).
I smiled at her and gave her what I took her. On the way back to school, she started asking me questions about my practice. She even googled wicca be before talking to me about it. I really appreciate it. I honestly thought that the silence meant disapproval, but she proved me I was wrong. She took her time to study it and I had to explain that Wicca is part of, but not all of my belief. The talk has been so relaxed and usual, it sounded and felt like when we talk about the weather. I loved it, and in the end, she even said that even though some might judge, she agrees that the modern human is building his own religion and that it is the most sane thing to do.
I so love her for her open mindedness, among others, and this also proved me that I hurried into judging....
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by Bychan Wulf »

"Everybody is replaceable"
A few weeks ago, my class teacher had a talk to us, because she saw the effects of stress and extreme fatigue on us. She told us that we should take care of ourselves and not ignore, but think less of what others say or ask from us. She said that now, or in the future, if one fails to reach what others are asking from him and gets depressed, ill or dies, he will be replaced immediately. She said many times that everyone is replaceable and that nobody cares in fact if you do it or not, they just push and wait to see what happens, not caring or thinking what the one who is pushed feels.
I didn't feel that way and therefore couldn't understand what she meant. This week proved me that she was right. I talked to you about the 10th grader that chose to give up on his life and I'm sorry if I am driving you crazy with this subject...it just is different when it happens close to you, that when you hear it on the news.
I am usually the one that is not noticed and gets to hear and see things other people don't. That's what happened now as well. Since Monday, I have been staying at my usual place near a corridor window and watched.
On Monday, the entire floor was dressed in black and all the girls from the 10th grade ( all 4 classes)were doing what I call the cry parade. Each break, they all gathered in the hallway to show everybody how much they care about what happened. In fact, only 1 girl and 1 boy from that generation really seemed to care and not do it to draw attention. The next day, only the students from his class were talking about what happened as a something really normal. ( I still appreciate they put flowers and candles on his desk)
On Wednesday, only his 2 close friends seemed sad and everybody else seems to have forgotten.
Today, I noticed that absolutely nobody talks or cares about it any more. The flowers are still on his desk; but the candles people fought so much to be allowed to put at the entrance are gone and nobody cared to replece them. I also noticed the way hos best friends made new friends and had a great time, without even once talking about him. Like nothing happened and he never existed.
Like my class teacher said, everybody is replaceable and people just get over it ASAP. I am still surprised it happend in less than a week and I keep thinking that I am the one who is wrong, because I think about it 10 times a day and talk about it. Today it seemed like everybody forgot it has ever happened and seemed shocked I still care. How do people do that? Forget and stop caring? I could use that too. I am not a fan of dead people and hate that I remember him and the "beautiful" post mortem photo that was take by the curious people around the place.
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Re: Inside BW's hectic mind

Post by Tutmosis »

His friends probably do still have that sore on their heart, but it hurts the most when you make the worst thing that happened to you rule your life.

His friends probably are still sad, but they need to move on for their personal health. Seeing them make new friends isn't a bad thing, it's healthy. It means they are beginning to move past the grief stage.

I do not agree with your teacher. This is a very callous way to explain instances in life. We live in a world full of emotion and logic.

If your heart is big, then you may see that we need connections as humans and to survive life. If it's not so big, then maybe one will see that other people are expendable.

But people are not expendable. We all matter to someone, you know?
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