Autumn Swan

If you'd like to have your own blog here, start yourself a thread. Use your member name somewhere in the title so people will know who you are. The blogs here should be mostly about your spiritual path and beliefs.
planewalker
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Re: Autumn Swan

Post by planewalker »

Physical, mental,& Spiritual. Law of Three. Wisdom of Thoth. We where splitting the same semantic hair from different ends.
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autumn swan
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Re: Autumn Swan

Post by autumn swan »

Ah okay, that's why I thought. :lol:
Language can be such a barrier lol
May the Lord and the Lady bless you.
planewalker
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Re: Autumn Swan

Post by planewalker »

Just gives me an excuse to go on and on and on a........
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autumn swan
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Re: Autumn Swan

Post by autumn swan »

Yeah well next time I say I know what you're talking about, I cal it this-and-that, just believe me. Saves us both some precious energy. :wink2:

Rant about: Books!
While we're on the topic of energy: mine is all over the place. Literally. I buy and download books, interesting ones, fascinating ones and yeah - boring ones that I know I will never look into. The last ones I don't buy but use the kindle free books for. I can't help it, it's an addiction. But that made my kindle app too huge too handle. I've got 7000 books stored there, gathered over the cause of three years, and now I regret it and started deleting some. But it's much. The stupid thing is there are also great books on it which I paid for and which I still want to use. So... patience.

Meanwhile I changed tactics and now download pdfs and epubs. Yeah. I know. Not really that different. BUT: I can delete it then and there and don't have to go to a special site for it. Also, i can share them with people - sue me! Ha, no, don't. I don't know any people who are interested in my dear books - and believe me I advertised. Well. To two people. Hey, I don't go out that often, okay?

Anyway! My point is, I think I need a system? To see what I read and learned from it, to have an overview and all that? The chaotic all-around-me I'm in with only reading a page here and there, well yeah it's what my right brained mind prefers but I have the slight feeling that this could be the thing that kept me stuck in my spiritual learning for the last... uhh, my life.

Huh. I need to learn how to be tidy, linear and organized. Left brain energy. Yes.
...I bet there's a book for that out there, gotta go check it, byeee. blue_flee
May the Lord and the Lady bless you.
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autumn swan
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Re: Autumn Swan

Post by autumn swan »

I'm back! I had a rough week but one good thing happened: I 'finished' my pantheon!

Rant about Gods!

For the last two years, yes indeed, I have been searching for a complete, fully right pantheon. I mean I knew I was home with the Germanic gods but there wasn't enuogh about them to go on. Not the Nordic Pantheon, that was slightly off. So I looked at the norse vanir, and then the Germanic, continental Gods. They weren't much but gave me the feeling I was on the right path. So I kept comparing all the I.E. Pantheons to find similarities.

Here's the thing. My feelings were and are very clear about the Goddess. She is nature and the earth, she is the sun, she is a bright flame. Sadly, the version of a male sun is very, very wide spread. Even in the Norse where the actual sun was female, Baldur was the official sun god. Who made that so? I do blame male scholars, but also women who said okay well the moon is better anyway so let's take it as our goddess. (Or however that came to be, I haven't studied it.)

In the past when Tiwaz-Irmin was the main god, he symbolized the sun, too. But I knew that couldn't be all there is to it. The sun is of female grammar, and thus was a women in children's stories I heard. When the sun is shining people here, until this day, say that 'she is smiling'. Tiwaz wife Frija was of the sun, too, bright, wears golden jewelry and cried golden and amber tears, and had blond hair. Then came my best clue ever, i know i bring it up in every post, but it's true. The Balts. Their goddess Saule 'sun' is cognate with all those other goddesses of the sun (Sol, Sunna, Sulis), and her Discription read like Frija/Freya. Other gods who have been lost in the Germanic culture turned up very clearly there, felt very genuine. Now I don't know exactly who came first, German or Balts, and I also dont know what had survived from the people living there before the Indoeuropeans came, but I know one thing: they didn't conquer, they didn't worship male deities more than females. That's what many historians want us to believe, and they say the I.E. brought a sky god when the people before have only whorshipped the earth as a goddess.

It's not true. Did you know that the oldest found from the Baltic area was from the Mesolithic area, no I.e. People anywhere, and it was a bone with a symbol for the sun curved on it? The sun has always been the giver of light and day - important even in the Stone Age, even without agriculture around.

Also, all tribes had their shamans and honestly I think many have heard about the same gods that way on different parts of the earth at the same time. It's not hard to miss when it's only nature on the planet, and nothing else. The Gods are light and dark, day and night, up and below and in the middle, the are nature but also high vibrating masters of the world.

Thus I have recreated the what I think is the most original and profound pantheon of gods. I wanted to know it, that's it. The other I.e. Pantheons like Greek etc have their own worth, no doubt! But I looked at what i thuoght was the origin. Since I don't have proof for it other than my guts I guess I have to name this pantheon something like Postindoeuropean or Neo-Indoeuropean?

I will outline the gods in an actual blog article (there needs to be some action, too) and post the link here.

With it comes the feeling of 'I finally found the order into which they belong that have been with me all this time', a feeling I can't describe very good but it is very good! :P
May the Lord and the Lady bless you.
planewalker
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Re: Autumn Swan

Post by planewalker »

Congratulations!!! I know you have been diligently seeking answers to this question.
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autumn swan
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Re: Autumn Swan

Post by autumn swan »

Thank you! :flyingwitch:

Today I want to rant about: my sister!

She is the source of eternal support, love and inspiration without I am sure I wouldn't be alive today. Which is funny since she was the reason I wanted to die for very long years. We are identical twins, but we live in different worlds. When she died I didn't want to stay here, I didn't feel able to live on without her. I was struck with grief so bad... normal therapists didn't help because they didn't understand what being twins meant. I went to see specialists for twinloss in England and Ireland, because there didn't seem to be anyone in Germany. It still took years and many internal work. I started to hear her voice, but sometimes that just pulled me down into grief again.

It all changed during one weekend retreat in Gallway. I bonded with a girl during an exercise. Shortly after she had an epileptic attack which triggered my memory of my sisters death and I went into kind of an attack (not epileptic) my self. There was a woman who held me during it, who was a mother for me in that moment - a thing that my own mother never had done. It was the combination of going through the memories and being held by a person who was strong for me that healed me. It was so speacial and I'm so thankful for it!

Afterwards I could communicate with my sister without falling apart. Our communication improved, and I learned much from her. She is still alive, she is still here, can feel and see like any living person. Except that she is always optimistic and loving, which can get quite annoying at times. :lol: But she isn't dead, because there is no such thing.

Often I forget her and live my life. But in times of despair or hardship I automatically call out for her, and she's always there to tell me I will make it, I'm loved and deserve everything good. And... what can I say I have started to believe her. :surprisedwitch: And I Love her so much. I don't want to die anymore but when I do I know she'll be there, so I don't need to be afraid of it.
May the Lord and the Lady bless you.
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