not quite sure what to do

[SilverWolf]

Hmmm, well a couple weeks ago i was talking with my boyfriend and we got on the topic Paganism, for the first part it was like any normal conversation, we were comparing diffrent pagan religions and there beliefs and what we thought about them, when i told him i was thinking of going to look for Wicca group in my community though, he well not quite freaked out but seemed to get verry confused. He didnt seem to understand why, i wanted to go and ""join" a group of people, sure it was all inteeresting all and great to look into, but to actually do and believe in he wasnt sure about. Though this would be because he is atheist (sp?) and has his own set of belifs but would never join a religon no matter how close they were to his own beliefs or at least at this point in his life. After talking to him for about an hour about why i wanted to he finally seemed to get the idea that i want to learn more, and be with more people who i could talk to about pagan and all. But still thought right now maybe i should just reaserch more online and such, he saw where i was coming from but he wasnt to keen (sp?) on me going full out deciding that this is my religion. See untill a few months ago my best friend and i did this together, but she moved up to edmonton with her boyfriend. So i've sort have been wanting someone i guess who i can try things with and understands what i belive in i guess, for don't get me wrong my boyfriends great and supports my beliefs and i can talk to him and but i guess his main problem is me joining a group, i guess it makes it official. But at the same time he doesnt want me not to go and do it just for him he wants me to be sure that its what i want. I'm not sure if any of this making any sense anymore.

I'm just not sure what to do anymore, he sort of made me all confused, I do know that i want to learn more about pagan and all, and meet new people who are more experinced who could help me out, but before where i thought of joining a wiccan group, now i'm not sure.

[[Haley]]

I'm not sure of how you should handle the situation with your boyfriend- I have an atheist friend myself but we don't talk about religions-but I know what you could do for the needing a friend. This website! Just ask around and see if anybody lives in your area. Or if you uncomfortable with people knowing where you live then go hang out at your local occult shop and try to meet some people. However if you don't have an occult shop around go hang out at a bookstore that sells books on Paganism and talk to the people that check out the books. Your boyfriend will come around eventually, give him some time to understand and absorb everything. Don't worry too much about it.

[Vicki*]

Maybe he's unsure about you being around people he knows nothing about. If you do find a group, could you not take him along with you just so he has a chance to meet everyone and see that they are just every day people with something in common?

[SilverWolf]

thanks vicki and haley for your ideas, i think if i just meet a few of people and not just some big group of people, and he gets a chance to meet and get to know them to i think he'll understand better. The nearest occult shop that i know of is all the way down south and is diffucult for me to get to. Though there should be one closer to where i live its just a matter of finding it.

SilverWolf

[[Haley]]

I hope eveything works out! Keep us posted!

[Addalaide]

I am somewhat close to the same situation you are in, I havent come right out and told my fionce that i am pagan, but we have been talking about it alot latly. Just the other day on a 13 hour drive ( tx is fare fare away) Me him and his friend where talking about it and he mention "Hey i like the idea of all the gods and goddess the romans and greeks had i think its cool" I just kinda sat there a little speechless because i have been trying to get him to talk about it and when he finly did i didnt know what to say. When we got back home i got out my book on the celts and showed him all there gods and goddess and he was intrested in them. What i told him when we first meet was i dont wanna go to a christion church anymore and i wanna read about all the different religongs and find one that fits me. I agree with Vicki, takeing him with you whould be a wonderful idea, also maby for yours and his both education find a fue other groups not just wiccan, this way you all have a tast of it all and it mite ease him more sence he will understand it more. He just needs to go in with an opend mind and also knowing that if hes uncomfortable he can leave and that there not ganna make him do anything he or anyone dosnt wanna do. I understand what its like to wanna be around people with this in commen i to want the same thing, its a little differnt in person than it is online.

[SilverWolf]

Well in general he is a verry open minded person, he knows that i'm pagan and that these are what my beliefs are, but for some reason he just seems verry hesitent (sp?) about me joining a group though i think i will take your advice and have both me and him go together, and let him meet the people and see for himself. I really do belive his biggest fear is people trying to push him into it, he has it stuck in his head that if you go to a religous place all the people there are going to try and convert you and tell ou that it is the one true path, i tried telling him that most pagans dont belive that and even if they did would respect your own belifs and wouldnt push. So ya maybe j8ust bringing him would help him see.

SilverWolf

[Addalaide]

Maby a way to help with that is tell him if he dont wanna go he dosnt have to. Tell him you want him to but if he belives thay will try to convert him he dosnt have to come. Maby him seeing that your not trying to make him will help him understand thay wont either.

[SilverWolf]

thanks for the advice Addalaide.
THough you had mentioned visiting other groups other then Wicca.

I think that its actually a good idea. I would acutally love to learn more about diffrent pagan religions, it just seems that Wicca is the most easy to get info on and find groups of.

Actually do you know of any good website that goes over a buch of different pagan religions? I would love to learn more.

SilverWolf

[Addalaide]

Well i know a fue pagan religons. Wicca being one, Duidisim, "the Old Religon" ( i consider this the Celts but some mite not), Budisum, Satanisum. To know a pagan religon i think the best thing to learn is what is NOT a pagan religion ( less religons ) Christianity, Jewdisum , and Islomic are not pagan religons. Also my understanding of "devil worshiper" ( not satanists) is there acculy Christians, a cult, and though the church dosnt want to consider then christion i see them as christion. The church also dosnt want to admite that any cult is christion. Dont get me wrong there are pagan cults and probly jewish cults to ( i havent reserched much or jews). So keeping in mind who are not pagans makes it a little easyer to determind who is. I just found this web site and looked it over a little and i think it is mostly true, what i saw of it atlest. It list more religons that i havent herd of, but less then i have.

http://www.ecauldron.com/newpagan.php

I think witchvox.com may also have information, under local groups you can find groups that are avalable to you.

Hope this helps, and if anyone see's and error in my understanding please correct me.