I don't know how to handle this

General discussion/questions about life, death, sexuality, love, teen concerns, lifestyle, & work.
Newbiewitch94
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by Newbiewitch94 »

At thia point my heart is closed off to love forever clwarly the universe would rather make me suffer than allow me to have what i want so im din screw its plan and my so called mr right can do me a favour and never bring his fat ugly del into my life.
Newbiewitch94
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by Newbiewitch94 »

So why the hell would i wamt to stop putying myself when i jave no chance at ever having the one thing ive always wamted which the universe is only too happy to allow ally friends arpund me to have
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SpiritTalker
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by SpiritTalker »

You're completely free to host a pity party but don't expect others to attend.
Newbiewitch94
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by Newbiewitch94 »

Or maybe im sick of being denied the only thing I've eve wwnte in life
Newbiewitch94
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by Newbiewitch94 »

However the fact is the universe instead of giving me what i dsmn want would rather keep bringing into my life people who have everything i want just to rub into my face what il never have
Newbiewitch94
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by Newbiewitch94 »

Like im not trying to have a pity party but im sick and tired of the fact the universe choose to demy me the only thing I've ever asked do and instead wants to keep bringing people into my life who have everything i want
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by planewalker »

I must most strenuously agree with Firebird and Spirit. Don't shut yourself off to love. You may be going through a lonely, frustrating time, that you can't imagine improving, but it could change radically at any time. If your sitting hunched over, your head in your hands, cursing the unfairness of life, then life will be unfair. It will be unfair because you are being unfair to yourself. Love only increases when you exercise it. It will find you only if your open to it. If your not finding love so far, what makes you think it will ever find you or you it if you keep the same routine?
It took a novel situation for me to find the love of my life. I was as low and frustrated as you can get about finding love. I had gotten dumped by the "girl of my dreams" after a physically and emotionally intense 2 yr relationship. I had had a couple casual dates after getting over being dumped. My love life was going nowhere at light speed. I was hung down, brung down and all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly things. That's when fate stepped in. During college summer's back home, I was the head of maintenance of the city pool. Usually I'd be in the pump/filter building keeping things running and the chemical levels correct when the pool was open. That day the older lifeguards decided they were going to a near by State Park with a lake and picnic area to party. That left the pool director with a few jr lifeguards and some attendants. She had to cover things with minimum staff. We were friends from during high school so she knew that I ran maintenance because the money was better than life guarding. She also knew that I had got the Red Cross grand slam. I was an instructor in safety, first aid, swimming and life saving. We had meet when I taught her first aid during high school.
There was a detached wading pool with swings, teater-toters, slides, etc. that couldn't be covered from the main pool. It was 90 and sunny. Moms and baby sitters with little kids wanted the "little pool" open. The grounds were far enough that the person watching it needed first aid as well as life saving. Guess who the only one other than the director had the skill set to open the grounds. I was even on my way over because I had to check the drains and turn on the spray fountains to put water into it which was in my job description. I was "elected" to watch the pool and grounds. It's not like it was hard work. It was something I had to do that once in 4 summers. The young lady babysitting the kids that played an integral part in this adventure had to come to this pool because the one closest to where the kids lived was closed. No life guard.
The fates must have been smiling - and conspiring. I went over when it opened at 12:30. She rolled in about 13:15 a little the worse for wear from the longer walk and heat. I checked her out like all the other ladies 18 an up. She looked good in shorts and swim top. I knew her but didn't recognize her. She had a 5-6 yr old in tow and a baby and baby stuff in a stroller. She spread the blanket out, the baby lay on the blanket napping and the little girl went off to play. IF she even saw me reading a book sitting against a tree she didn't know who I was, long hair and beard took care of that.
Suddenly a scream of pain, anguish and despair that only a child twisted in a swing such that her butt was in the seat her leg was up and twisted in the chain and her head was on the ground. I was flabbergasted. I didn't think a gymnast could do that. The babysitter was up and making like a champion sprinter. The baby, hearing his sister's scream, woke, flipped onto his stomach and was on his hands and knees looking for what sis was up to. The baby, seeing sis to far away to join the mayhem, decided he was hot and he, having been in them before, went straight for the wading pool. Having an almost immediate grasp of the obvious, I realized that a baby, minus babysitter, one foot high crawling, was going to be a drowning in a two foot deep pool. I was up and grabbing the baby like a shot. Even at that tender age, I knew about babies. I wasn't just holding him straight out like the usual 19 yr old guy would most likely do. Nope. I had him in my arms holding him and trying to stop his hysterical cries. I missed that he would react in terror. He had been heading to the water to play. A large furry thing he had never seen before had snatched him from his fun and was now holding him. The babysitter, having extricated the girl, had turned and saw the baby in the arms of a hairy hippie she had never seen before being kidnapped. Her reaction was more extreme than the babies. I was frozen in place. I now had what was a pretty girl turn into a raging mama bear who saw her cub in danger at full charge. The only thing I could think to do was hold the baby out toward her and pray I could pry her teeth out of my throat. Luckily the other moms and sitters who were there told her I saved the baby. We talked for a while. I called her a few days later and got a date and that was 41 yrs ago.
Strange circumstances. Different time, place, people and activity. Nothing routine.

CHANGE WHAT YOUR DOING! THIS ISN'T WORKING SKIPPY! You need to be gob-smacked or what. Go ahead. Give up. Wallow in your self-pity if you enjoy it so much.If you don't care about yourself then everyone will join in and not care either. I am sick to death of the tombstone philosophy. too many people have. Nothing good in life is going to seek you out. You have to look for it. I guarantee if you don't look for what you want, if you don't go out and make yourself force life to give you what you want, your going to be a twisted shadow of a person alone with their self-pity and failures.
You can give up or grow up. Make your choice. Sit inside four walls and slowly fade to absolute insignificance or go out volunteer, take up a sport, go to an art gallery and start a conversation., make new friends so you can get to know friends of a friend. Intent is all. Do as you will.
Newbiewitch94
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by Newbiewitch94 »

Except all i attract is guys who are over weight guys who are unattractkve to me guys who arent my type and im sorry but if i learnt one thing from working with Lilith its to never lower my standards for any man
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by SpiritTalker »

Here's some straight talk.

You've said that you're attracting only the guys who are physically unattractive: unattractive means they aren't getting any so they are hitting on you because you give signals of being more desperate than they are & so they figure they've got a chance. The Universe is sending you unattractive people as a mirror of your behavior &'you've been too stubborn to read the message.

To correct this I suggest you:
1. Stop throwing temper tantrums. Who would be attracted to a spoiled brat?
2. Stop partner-shopping for 6 months. Take a break. No hitting on anybody. Live your life & get 2 other interests to balance your highly emotional personality. Learn divination so you can offer free and for fun readings as an added attraction. Its a conversation opener & let's you be psychic without scaring people away.
3. During those 6-months, evaluate your own attributes under a microscope: Study your clothes, hair, skin, teeth, breath, body-aroma, social mannerisms, table manners. Do you consistently portray the physical appearance and the behaviors that you would find attractive? If not then acquire what you can & maintain them. No excuses.
4. Stop throwing temper tantrums. The Universe is sending you unattractive people as a mirror.
5. Read "How to Win Friends & Influence People" no skimming; Or get it on tape & listen.
7. Let the first kind, interested-in-others, smart, good-looking person you attract be you, yourself & others will come.
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by planewalker »

I second the motions made by Spirit. When your ready to start dating again go to a juice bar, not a pub. Get a membership in a gym. You'll get in better shape and if you want "Mr. Goodbody" go where they make them. Amateur sports leagues are another place health conscious people will go. Don't overlook the possibility that emotional stability and being good and kind and knows how to laugh is even more important. I don't know but, I'll bet your average looking like all the rest of us. Twenty or thirty yrs from now you and your partner are going to look even ... more average, if you take my meaning without me scaring you with what it's really like when you age. Just saying.
Newbiewitch94
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by Newbiewitch94 »

I've actually tried divination it doesn't work for me (no joke the tarot cards might as well be speaking French lol)
Teeth we the only thing i can do to change my teeth is get false teeth and aint no guy who's my type and attractive going to want someone with false teeth.
Body considering guys are only attracted to six packs and muscles these days and that would take me years to get
Newbiewitch94
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by Newbiewitch94 »

End of the day maybe i wouldn't he complaining of the universe actually gave me what i asked for (the guy from my vision)
Newbiewitch94
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by Newbiewitch94 »

So im gonna focus on working on myself having booked myself in for some counselling due to my past (i mean hey i cant attract Mr bad boy right as my friend Patricia calls him if im in a messed up place mentally and emotionally) however the one thing im curious about is how will i know when ive met him because my vision never clearly showed me what he looked like as his face was kinda blurred out
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by SpiritTalker »

Re: 7 generic suggestions - put your thinking cap on & adapt it to your situation.

Tip: the Universe never gives anybody anything. You consistently torpedo yourself.

Counseling is definitely a good investment in yourself. Smart decision.

The image having had no clear features suggests the outcome is undecided. When you clear yourself up it will help clear up the situation.
Newbiewitch94
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Re: I don't know how to handle this

Post by Newbiewitch94 »

See that's the thing i do find it strange how im not clearly allowed to see the guy in the vision yet P was. Like i get it we arent supposed to know our own future but it does seem counter productive to me. I know i should just trust my intuition but considering my intuition led me to working with Lilith i think its slightly broken lol
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