I wish I would remember...
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2018 9:07 am
I'm absolutely convinced beyond any doubt that reincarnation does happen and most of us have been here for a very long time. I have vague memories and weird things which I cannot explain any other way.
I wish I would remember my past clearly, but so far its obscure as heck.
When I was kid, something between four and six years old, I remember often thinking in sort of a desperation, who the heck am I, what am I doing here? I remember these feelings very clearly, like a sudden realisation that I'm not "me", that I'm living in a wrong body, my child's body felt uncomfortable and alien to me. Most common thought of this kind was me trying to come in terms with who the heck am I. I didn't feel like me being what my family told me. It some times felt as if some kind of mistake had happened and I was in a wrong body.
One thing I'm absolutely sure about, that most of my past lives, I have been a woman. When I was kid, I was most of the time playing with my girl cousins. I loved all the girly kind of games almost more than "boy" stuff back then. I have always felt repulsed by over the top masculinity, the kind of "show off" about how much of a man someone is. That has always felt totally foreign and downright disgusting to me. I have always came along with women very easily, when most guys I know always complain how its so difficult to understand women and come along with them. The way my mind works is so feminine, its weird. Although I'm not a kind of "girly beta-male" type at all, I can be pretty damn tough if I want to, but my thinking is very female kind. I have a feeling that there's an important reason for me being a man in this life, I just can't put my finger on it.
Another thing that I have felt all my life is that I don't belong here, among most people. These days I have very few friends and the rest, I'm indifferent about. People annoy me very often, in kind of nonsensical way, even when they're acting normal and there's no reason, I get irritated about them. I see so many issues people and society have so pointless that it pisses me off and I tend to "shield" myself from it. Mind you that I have had this thing since I was a child, its not just a result of ageing and having more perspective on (this) life, I have always had it.
I also have the common fascination of certain places and times in history which defy explanation, they just feel "right" if you know what I mean. One of these is medieval Europe. Another one is China and anything that has to do with fireworks or their writing. Then 1930's Germany. I love German language and I learn it very quickly and the march songs they had back then, I love those. I'm definitely not into Nazi stuff, but I have a strong hunch about living there at that time, possibly being a soldier in the wehrmacht. Also the latest possible recollection is about me being a female healer/witch kind of person in either England or Ireland(I lived in Ireland for a year several years ago, didn't feel very unfamiliar.), the time I think was something like late medieval or bit after. I'm really not certain of this as it came to me in meditation.
I don't have any clear recollection of anything specific which is a shame, I would really like to know more. I have meditated on this many times, but I never got any coherent answers so far. It would be highly interesting to try hypnosis some time. I think it would probably work on me quite well.
I think past lives and reincarnation are highly interesting subjects to talk about. I'm positive that these things happen. I just wish to know how to dig in deeper and find out more... If anybody has some good idea how to deal with it, shoot!
I wish I would remember my past clearly, but so far its obscure as heck.
When I was kid, something between four and six years old, I remember often thinking in sort of a desperation, who the heck am I, what am I doing here? I remember these feelings very clearly, like a sudden realisation that I'm not "me", that I'm living in a wrong body, my child's body felt uncomfortable and alien to me. Most common thought of this kind was me trying to come in terms with who the heck am I. I didn't feel like me being what my family told me. It some times felt as if some kind of mistake had happened and I was in a wrong body.
One thing I'm absolutely sure about, that most of my past lives, I have been a woman. When I was kid, I was most of the time playing with my girl cousins. I loved all the girly kind of games almost more than "boy" stuff back then. I have always felt repulsed by over the top masculinity, the kind of "show off" about how much of a man someone is. That has always felt totally foreign and downright disgusting to me. I have always came along with women very easily, when most guys I know always complain how its so difficult to understand women and come along with them. The way my mind works is so feminine, its weird. Although I'm not a kind of "girly beta-male" type at all, I can be pretty damn tough if I want to, but my thinking is very female kind. I have a feeling that there's an important reason for me being a man in this life, I just can't put my finger on it.
Another thing that I have felt all my life is that I don't belong here, among most people. These days I have very few friends and the rest, I'm indifferent about. People annoy me very often, in kind of nonsensical way, even when they're acting normal and there's no reason, I get irritated about them. I see so many issues people and society have so pointless that it pisses me off and I tend to "shield" myself from it. Mind you that I have had this thing since I was a child, its not just a result of ageing and having more perspective on (this) life, I have always had it.
I also have the common fascination of certain places and times in history which defy explanation, they just feel "right" if you know what I mean. One of these is medieval Europe. Another one is China and anything that has to do with fireworks or their writing. Then 1930's Germany. I love German language and I learn it very quickly and the march songs they had back then, I love those. I'm definitely not into Nazi stuff, but I have a strong hunch about living there at that time, possibly being a soldier in the wehrmacht. Also the latest possible recollection is about me being a female healer/witch kind of person in either England or Ireland(I lived in Ireland for a year several years ago, didn't feel very unfamiliar.), the time I think was something like late medieval or bit after. I'm really not certain of this as it came to me in meditation.
I don't have any clear recollection of anything specific which is a shame, I would really like to know more. I have meditated on this many times, but I never got any coherent answers so far. It would be highly interesting to try hypnosis some time. I think it would probably work on me quite well.
I think past lives and reincarnation are highly interesting subjects to talk about. I'm positive that these things happen. I just wish to know how to dig in deeper and find out more... If anybody has some good idea how to deal with it, shoot!