Trying to Reach a Past Life: Overcome by fear
Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:32 pm
I have felt for quite some time that part of who I am is chronologically out of my reach. I'm more tied to an identity I no longer carry. I feel out of place in my life. So, despite my skepticism, I attempted to do a "past life regression" meditation. Mostly because youtube is free and I have lived with an unexplained and unignorable longing for something I've never understood. Its always felt as though I've been removed from my place of belonging.
My results were... Well, they were something alright:
I was sitting at a kitchen table in a shabby wooden house. I was distinctly aware of the remoteness of this dwelling, being somewhere deep in the woods. I was only around ten and wore some sort of light pink nightdress and slippers. I was acutely aware that I was not where I was meant to be, that I had left a faraway home. I had had no choice in our leaving and the journey had been hard on my family. We had gone via ship ( a Packet? that name really resonates with me), and it was a very cold and stormy trip. My father could tell how much I hated this new life and tensions were running thin. The longer I sat the more worried I became that my father would burst through the door and have a fit.
I was asked to return to the best memory I had, and I found myself in a place very different than before. It was a horse stable, there was a long and well-manicured lawn and what I think is an estate. We were standing on a gravel drive that leads right up to the back of the estate. It was a large white house which I can't shake a great deal of respect for. This scene felt bittersweet, like a goodbye I wasn't willing to give. There was an older girl there and she and I were tending to the horses. She had black hair and freckles, we seemed close. Neither of our family owned the house, but we knew its ins and out. In this memory, I no longer feel the longing for home, though I feel anxiety about leaving, so I assume this was the place I lost.
When asked to find the most significant relationship in my life, I was thrown into a panic. I tried to maintain the state I was in but could not. I was back in the small house in the woods, and I woke myself up.
Any advice for this? Is this from some sort of bad event I can't quite overcome? I want to learn more but I don't know how to navigate this roadblock. I don't know what to make of any of this, so any advice would be helpful.
TL:DR: I tried a regression and am overcome with fear when I stay too long. Any advice?
My results were... Well, they were something alright:
I was sitting at a kitchen table in a shabby wooden house. I was distinctly aware of the remoteness of this dwelling, being somewhere deep in the woods. I was only around ten and wore some sort of light pink nightdress and slippers. I was acutely aware that I was not where I was meant to be, that I had left a faraway home. I had had no choice in our leaving and the journey had been hard on my family. We had gone via ship ( a Packet? that name really resonates with me), and it was a very cold and stormy trip. My father could tell how much I hated this new life and tensions were running thin. The longer I sat the more worried I became that my father would burst through the door and have a fit.
I was asked to return to the best memory I had, and I found myself in a place very different than before. It was a horse stable, there was a long and well-manicured lawn and what I think is an estate. We were standing on a gravel drive that leads right up to the back of the estate. It was a large white house which I can't shake a great deal of respect for. This scene felt bittersweet, like a goodbye I wasn't willing to give. There was an older girl there and she and I were tending to the horses. She had black hair and freckles, we seemed close. Neither of our family owned the house, but we knew its ins and out. In this memory, I no longer feel the longing for home, though I feel anxiety about leaving, so I assume this was the place I lost.
When asked to find the most significant relationship in my life, I was thrown into a panic. I tried to maintain the state I was in but could not. I was back in the small house in the woods, and I woke myself up.
Any advice for this? Is this from some sort of bad event I can't quite overcome? I want to learn more but I don't know how to navigate this roadblock. I don't know what to make of any of this, so any advice would be helpful.
TL:DR: I tried a regression and am overcome with fear when I stay too long. Any advice?