Manipulation in relationship or just overthinking?
Posted: Sat May 02, 2020 9:11 am
Hey
I hope this is the right place to rant a little about my current relationship. I really don't know what to do and I can't discuss the problem with anyone I know since it involves witches..
so.. Everything started when I went to wiccans gathering in our country. The man who organized it told me that if I want to fulfill my life’s purpose, I should become a devoted witch and dedicate my life for magic. He told me that living in ''normal peoples'' world only does harm for me. He offered me to become his family member so I wouldn’t have to go to work or worry about material needs. It seemed like a paradise to me back then.. He lived in the woods, near the sea and river.. on an island. really a perfect place for a witch.
But joining his family meant a sexual relationship between me and him.. but I did join.
Since I’m still underage (and he’s literally three times as old as I am), he told me that as soon as I become 18, I’ll move to his place to live with him and his 3 other wives (it’s a polygamous relationship)
So everything seemed going harmoniously for the first couple of months.. but then I started to notice that I didn’t feel comfortable with him. He seemed so smart, clever even. and I was so shy (I'm usually not shy around my friends, but he told me that this is just who I am O.o) I was always afraid I’d say something wrong. I realise I thought that way because he would always make fun of me or just ignore if I messed up my words or said something stupid. I’ve even noticed some signs of demagogy and manipulation when he has talked to me. He has also said things that were clearly lies.. And when I wasn’t seeing him face to face (and that was most of the time because it’s a long-distance relationship), he never contacted me. So I had doubts that he only needed me to do chores for him etc.. I told him that. He reasoned everything with magic, told me that darkness is trying to tear us apart so us witches wouldn’t be so powerful… so my feelings are wrong.
I don’t know why, but as time went on, he’d ignore me more and more, lately even when I was at his place. So one of his wives really wanted me to go there one night, but my mom only let me if i took my (small) dog with me. So his wife said sure come together. I noticed the man seemed really pissed off because of that, even if he didn’t really show it. Didn’t get a single hug that night either. He just ignored me. So the next day one of his other wives wrote a long letter why I souldn’t have taken the dog with me (pets are energy vampires in witch circles etc).. And the next time I got invited to their place, I told them I have nothing to do there anyways. Because I only got ignored there. That was a poor choice of words and they got me wrong. so they all started ignoring me. I didn’t know why and they didn’t answer to my questions.
One day he just told me that they’ve all had enough of my negativity and depressive thoughts.
I promised I’d change myself. But then i uploaded a picture I painted on instagram.. was about abusive relationship. Then they got so pissed off again, told me that painting stuff like this is bad and i should try to draw cute animals instead. And then I got pissed off, because it’s my art. I tried to fix things between us.. but they just don’t seem to understand my point of view. or they just tried to brainwash me into thinking it’s all my fault. or maybe it is all my fault.
Things got a little better over time, but when my school break started and they invited me to their place, they asked me to pull some tarot cards to see if I can go, because I wasn’t sure. The cards told me that I can’t go, no matter how hard I try. The witch family told me that darkness is attacking my deck and there’s always a chance to go, my cards were lying. When I asked my mom, she didn’t let me go. I told my witch family that. They got so angry at me, told me to just not listen to my mother and run away, because I’m too old to do everything my mom tells me to. Somehow I got my mother to let me go, but i couldn’t be there for the whole week. That man still didn’t like that. He wanted me to go there the next day and stay for the whole break. But I really couldn’t, I compromised with my mom so much to at least get half a week. But then he just ignored me again. So I stayed home. oh so ironic, some time ago they said that it’s my home and I’m always welcome there. But now suddenly I wasn’t. And my cards were right. (They often say my tarot decks are under attack if my cards' answers aren't the ones they want them to be)
So I just gave up and stopped trying to fix things. After some months I started getting letters from each of them (except my man of course, he has never contacted me by himself) and every letter had a message that I should go live with them, not live an ordinary life. I just feel like they are manipulating with me all the time :c but why should they? What if I'm just overthinking?
I don't know what to do or who I should listen... It doesn't feel like a family I can trust anymore, but I still care for them..
Last week I had a dream of that man inviting me to his house, but I refused. Some interpretations say that means I refused an important opportunity he gave me...(?) I've got some other signs that I should live with them afterall, too.. But when I'd actually live with them, I would only depend on that man's money so he could do whatever he wants to me...
It all bugs me so much, because every time I try to practice magic, it reminds me of them..
What should I do?
PS. Sorry for bad grammar, English is not my mother tongue :p
I hope this is the right place to rant a little about my current relationship. I really don't know what to do and I can't discuss the problem with anyone I know since it involves witches..
so.. Everything started when I went to wiccans gathering in our country. The man who organized it told me that if I want to fulfill my life’s purpose, I should become a devoted witch and dedicate my life for magic. He told me that living in ''normal peoples'' world only does harm for me. He offered me to become his family member so I wouldn’t have to go to work or worry about material needs. It seemed like a paradise to me back then.. He lived in the woods, near the sea and river.. on an island. really a perfect place for a witch.
But joining his family meant a sexual relationship between me and him.. but I did join.
Since I’m still underage (and he’s literally three times as old as I am), he told me that as soon as I become 18, I’ll move to his place to live with him and his 3 other wives (it’s a polygamous relationship)
So everything seemed going harmoniously for the first couple of months.. but then I started to notice that I didn’t feel comfortable with him. He seemed so smart, clever even. and I was so shy (I'm usually not shy around my friends, but he told me that this is just who I am O.o) I was always afraid I’d say something wrong. I realise I thought that way because he would always make fun of me or just ignore if I messed up my words or said something stupid. I’ve even noticed some signs of demagogy and manipulation when he has talked to me. He has also said things that were clearly lies.. And when I wasn’t seeing him face to face (and that was most of the time because it’s a long-distance relationship), he never contacted me. So I had doubts that he only needed me to do chores for him etc.. I told him that. He reasoned everything with magic, told me that darkness is trying to tear us apart so us witches wouldn’t be so powerful… so my feelings are wrong.
I don’t know why, but as time went on, he’d ignore me more and more, lately even when I was at his place. So one of his wives really wanted me to go there one night, but my mom only let me if i took my (small) dog with me. So his wife said sure come together. I noticed the man seemed really pissed off because of that, even if he didn’t really show it. Didn’t get a single hug that night either. He just ignored me. So the next day one of his other wives wrote a long letter why I souldn’t have taken the dog with me (pets are energy vampires in witch circles etc).. And the next time I got invited to their place, I told them I have nothing to do there anyways. Because I only got ignored there. That was a poor choice of words and they got me wrong. so they all started ignoring me. I didn’t know why and they didn’t answer to my questions.
One day he just told me that they’ve all had enough of my negativity and depressive thoughts.
I promised I’d change myself. But then i uploaded a picture I painted on instagram.. was about abusive relationship. Then they got so pissed off again, told me that painting stuff like this is bad and i should try to draw cute animals instead. And then I got pissed off, because it’s my art. I tried to fix things between us.. but they just don’t seem to understand my point of view. or they just tried to brainwash me into thinking it’s all my fault. or maybe it is all my fault.
Things got a little better over time, but when my school break started and they invited me to their place, they asked me to pull some tarot cards to see if I can go, because I wasn’t sure. The cards told me that I can’t go, no matter how hard I try. The witch family told me that darkness is attacking my deck and there’s always a chance to go, my cards were lying. When I asked my mom, she didn’t let me go. I told my witch family that. They got so angry at me, told me to just not listen to my mother and run away, because I’m too old to do everything my mom tells me to. Somehow I got my mother to let me go, but i couldn’t be there for the whole week. That man still didn’t like that. He wanted me to go there the next day and stay for the whole break. But I really couldn’t, I compromised with my mom so much to at least get half a week. But then he just ignored me again. So I stayed home. oh so ironic, some time ago they said that it’s my home and I’m always welcome there. But now suddenly I wasn’t. And my cards were right. (They often say my tarot decks are under attack if my cards' answers aren't the ones they want them to be)
So I just gave up and stopped trying to fix things. After some months I started getting letters from each of them (except my man of course, he has never contacted me by himself) and every letter had a message that I should go live with them, not live an ordinary life. I just feel like they are manipulating with me all the time :c but why should they? What if I'm just overthinking?
I don't know what to do or who I should listen... It doesn't feel like a family I can trust anymore, but I still care for them..
Last week I had a dream of that man inviting me to his house, but I refused. Some interpretations say that means I refused an important opportunity he gave me...(?) I've got some other signs that I should live with them afterall, too.. But when I'd actually live with them, I would only depend on that man's money so he could do whatever he wants to me...
It all bugs me so much, because every time I try to practice magic, it reminds me of them..
What should I do?
PS. Sorry for bad grammar, English is not my mother tongue :p