Page 1 of 1

My Father Died

Posted: Sat Oct 16, 2021 2:26 am
by SilverMoon22
Hello community,

With an extremely heavy heart, I am announcing the death of my father. He died yesterday, Friday, suddenly. He was in the hospital for ruptured intestines and had a heart attack while speaking to the doctors about the surgery.

i am completely broken, confused, hurt, regretful, and so much more. Most of all, I just want to know where he is and if he is okay.

I did not read any of the forums under Reincarnation and the Afterlife. I needed to write this. I need to let this out. I feel as if I have had half my childhood removed. I am so confused.

He was such a strong man, always working, strong deep voice, tall, a family man.

I have read over and over again about the afterlife. But I cannot think and I just want to know where he is. :(

Re: My Father Died

Posted: Sat Oct 16, 2021 10:11 pm
by Firebird
Oh dear, :(
my deepest condolences. Sudden death can be such a shock I am so sorry you are in this place.

Reincarnation can be thought of as stepping to the next level or next life, but everyone has their ideas of what that might look like. Did he have a faith? You could look to their views and try to understand how he might have viewed this time. As a pagan, try to find comfort in the idea that he is now in everything, like the poem, "Do not stand at my grave and Weep", in my opinion it is very pagan and helps ease some pain. Be kind to yourself, in this mournful time, and remember that grief can be different for everyone.

After my dad died I looked for him in the dreamtime, and the nights he showed up in those were so real and it was such a blessing to have that because I know how you feel when the man who was your strength is suddenly gone. I lit lots of candles and said lots of I miss you's, and so many why's.... and drummed. I actually just came back from the cemetery yesterday when I was up at moms. One of the few times I came away without tears, but he's been gone now 15 years. Although writing this did trigger a few tears :(

Blessings to you and your family, I will light a candle for you all.

Hugs, Big hugs, Firebird

Re: My Father Died

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2021 12:15 pm
by Firebird
How are you feeling today Kookie?

Re: My Father Died

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2021 5:14 pm
by SilverMoon22
Firebird,

I am sorry if this triggered you.

I happened to walk into a Metaphysical store that day, and bumped into a woman who claims she is a medium. She says the same things as you, to see this as him beginning something new. He was a Catholic, though, I do not think he was set really to one belief, he was open to possibilities.

I have not read the poem yet.

I do not know how to look for him in my dream, when my grandmother died, she came to me every night until she informed me that she was ready to move on, but my father has not come to me, in dreams at least. But, I am not upset, if he wants to come to me, he will, when he is ready. I want him to take his time.

Thank you so much for checking in on me. I actually had to leave work early today. My job is too close to the elderly, lately there have been too many talks about deaths and funerals, and I feel sad that they speak to their children/children.

I am a mess and then im not. I cry and then instantly become numb and listen. I blank out a lot which is scary. My son is looking for me and I can’t seem to get a grip. My feelings are long and complicated as I am sure you know.

Re: My Father Died

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2021 5:15 pm
by SilverMoon22
I also bought a smoky quartz and used it as a soothing stone. It split in half the very next day. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

Re: My Father Died

Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2021 12:40 am
by Anubisa
Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. I am sending prayers your way sweetie. I know it must be hard to lose a loved one so soon. Especially your father. Blessings hon. I will keep praying hon.

Re: My Father Died

Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2021 1:25 am
by Firebird
no worries on the trigger, the strangest things will still do it, like a small airplane overhead, or putting on his jacket, (I still wear his leather aviator jacket), or maybe the song "moon river" which he loved.

here's the Poem:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on the snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die.

I love this poem so much I've committed it to memory so I can recite it at funerals, it reminds me of the Song of Amergin. And about that crystal, I'm wondering if half is meant for you and the other half for dad? Maybe leave as an offering in some special place, or buried so no other person would ever walk away with it. And that could be a psychic link to him.

I was a long time before I dreamt about my dad several weeks after his passing anyway, and I have a hard time remembering my dreams, but when he did show it was brief appearances, still is but I can say the amount of times I have dreamt of him hasn't been a lot, maybe a dozen or so.
All I can say is if you dream of him try to see if he has a message and write it down, or write the particulars of the dream. I found a dream journal to be the best tool for gaining better recall. When the recall got better so did the dreams.
I wish you healing, the numbness is your body's way of protecting you.
Removing yourself from the triggers is taking care of yourself, Hugs.
Firebird

Re: My Father Died

Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2021 9:04 pm
by stormofwind
He's with you kookie.. In dreams and certain times ..
I'm sorry.. Where here for you if need us..

Re: My Father Died

Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2021 8:06 am
by SilverMoon22
Thank you all for the kinds words. Thank you Firebird for the poem. It sounds like him. I had to take a trip for his viewing. I felt strong enough this morning to respond to you all. I appreciate you all so much.

Re: My Father Died

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2022 7:17 pm
by SilverMoon22
It's been a year today since my father passed. I have learned a lot about him. Even things I don't think I had the right to know.

People get ugly after a person's passing. You would think that the anger phase is about anger towards the fact that people have to die. Instead there was a lot bitterness about things that obviously don't matter anymore. It's been a tough year in regards to my father.

I still struggle with having unanswered questions. I had plans to show him and talk to him about so many things.

Re: My Father Died

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2022 8:40 pm
by Firebird
That's really a bummer SilverMoon, it seems as though people would come together instead of tearing apart. Same thing when my father in law died all the siblings and the mom were fighting even physically at one point. Wish people would be more respectful of the situation. Very sorry you are having to deal with that, do you have any support at all?
Bb, Firebird

Re: My Father Died

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2022 5:41 pm
by supremz
Death is not the end. We humans mourn. There are other animals like elephants and miscellaneous primates that venerate their departed ones, but not to the extent that we do. For nature, however, the continuation of life as a direct consequence of death is as natural as ever, as most plantlife feeds off the deceased when there is a shortage of rain and sunlight.

But rather than think of your father as having "gone somewhere", imagine him being HERE. He's just someone who no longer has to play the exhausting egoistic role of SilverMoon's father, and instead gets to be whatever he wants, or whatever is best for him to be now (same thing.)

That's how it actually works, but the rest is for your own inquiry to satisfy. Just know that the mourning process never completely ends until you can finally face the fact that he is gone.

Regards, supremz

Re: My Father Died

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2022 2:58 pm
by Firebird
I love this quote by Jim Morrison..." we live, we die, and death not ends it".
Were you able to have a funeral service of some kind? That is incredibly important ritual for the living, a means of process.
I can relate quite a bit having just lost my bio mom the end of Aug. My brother is so angry, and I am the somewhat bitter one. So much left unresolved, I am just numb. They (3 half bros) clearly had a great upbringing, whereas I feel jilted, but on the other hand have to count my blessings that I got raised by the family I did, because there would have been so much I would never have experienced being raise with her.
Like that poem I posted, and surpremz mentioned, your dad is Here, just not in the Corporeal form you recalled. True, it's not very huggable and unless you listen with your heart questions will go unanswered. But with Samhain coming up we all have an opportunity to connect on an even deeper level if we are ready.
Blessings...