the hot guy

molly · Post by **molly** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 7:38 pm

mm
I'm in year 8 - and the guy I have a crush on is in year 10... is this wrong? Also, I kind of like one of my guy friends - Jake - who's in year 8 as well. And then I think a guy in my form is hot, and that one of my girlfriends best guy friend is hot... bit complicated???
is it like, normal to like several guys at the one time? with the year 10 - Jamie - I've liked him for a year now, but soon he'll go to another school. I've only got one chance with him and I odn't want to blow it - but he doesn't know who I am!!!
well, he does know I like him and who I am... but he never talks to me or anything. Is there like, some impossible-to-resist flirt move I can pull on him... I've asked him out twice, sent him a letter, a photo, a phone number - and I know where he lives, his phone number, his family's names ( i used to be mates with his sis - I'm not a freaky stalker!!!) but he couldnt care less!!!

so - which guy do I ask out, and how do I ensure he says yes???
molly
bb

Post by **dread_pirate_steele** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 9:27 pm

actually get to know *all* of these guys pretty well before you ask them out. you cant base everything on looks. one, its shallow and two you could be getting yourself into some bad stuff if thats your basis for liking someone.

Post by **Starwitch** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 10:21 pm

Hi Molly,

It's normal to have crushes on different guys at the same time. Let me tell you how guys operate so you'll know how to get them...

Guys want a challenge. If they know they can have you, then they will either have sex with you once and dump you, or they will ignore you completely. You can't let them know that you like them. You could make some eye contact with them to try to get their attention, but that's really about it. Don't send them letters, give them your number (without them asking), have your friends talk to them about you, or anything like that. It will come across as desperation and the boy won't like you then. It's a little complicated, but that's the way guys are. They seem very simple on the surface (VERY SIMPLE), but what they want and what they THINK they want are two totally different things. Guys may think or say that they want a girl that looks hot to hit on them and ask them out, but that's just a fantasy. If that ever happened, the first thing they would do is to go tell all their friends that they screwed you and that you are SLUT. You need to make a rule with yourself that you won't sleep with any guy until he has dated you exclusively for at least 3 months (and longer if you can). I'm letting you know from the mistakes I've made in my life. There were people when I was in school that would have thought I was a slut. I wasn't a slut in the sense that I acted sexy to guys and hit on them and tried to sleep with them. I wasn't throwing myself at anybody. My problem was that I was too timid and shy and wasn't forceful about saying NO to sex. Lots of guys don't know what "no" means. They think it means that they should try harder, so they do. You have to be aggresive with them. You can't just giggle and say, "No, I really can't! hee-hee" because you don't want to hurt their feelings by getting mean with them. That's how I was. I didn't want to hurt their feelings. Girlfriend, THEY DON'T HAVE FEELINGS! Say NO and say it loudly and aggresively. And smack the hell out of them if they keep trying to get in your pants.

At any rate, you aren't to that point yet but you will be sooner than you think (if you aren't already). Just know that no guy likes the girl that is calling them or writing them notes or making it obvious in any way that she likes him. You have to make him think it was HIS idea to ask you out. He will like you more that way, he'll respect you more and he'll do whatever he can to keep you if he feels like he had to work to get you.

Good luck,

_Snow_Falcon_ · Post by **_Snow_Falcon_** » Mon Sep 06, 2004 3:26 pm

wrote:Guys want a challenge. If they know they can have you, then they will either have sex with you once and dump you, or they will ignore you completely. You can't let them know that you like them. Don't send them letters, give them your number (without them asking), have your friends talk to them about you, or anything like that. It will come across as desperation and the boy won't like you then. It's a little complicated, but that's the way guys are.

Well that might be true for some guys, but not all of us. I really like a girl and she was doing what you suggested, but I thought she didn't want anything to do with me, so (thinking that she really disliked me) I didn't bother. She eventually got a boyfriend, and just recently I was talking to her and she told me that she really liked me. But alas, it is now to late.

P.S.- If she did let me know that she liked me I would have asked her to go on a date, not to go to the bedroom. I would have never done anything that would have made her uncomfortable, and if that meant no sex, i would have gladly waited.

Post by **JBRaven** » Wed Sep 08, 2004 7:39 pm

Well it seems as if Jamie has no intrest in you so stop trying to fing yourself onto him. If he knows you like him and he has said nothing forget about it, admire him form afar.

Post by **Starwitch** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 3:36 am

That's pretty much what I was thinking JB.

SnowFalcon, I'm glad to hear there are nice guys like you (and my husband) in the world, but I'm sure you are aware of the guys I'm talking about (which is 90% of them).

At any rate, Molly, you do need to at least let the guy know you're interested, but just not in an obvious way. Just give him "the look" (once) or a simple "Hello" (with the look). If he's interested in you, then he'll pick up on that and do something about it. Some guys just don't have the confidence to ask girls out. I can't blame them since they must get rejected a lot, but that's the way the game works. But if you've expressed your interest and the guys doesn't reciprocate, forget about him. It's not going to happen. I always felt bad for those big, nerdy girls in school that would always get a crush on the most popular guy in school, and for whatever reason, they actually thought they had a chance. I really couldn't figure out why they would think that. I wasn't part of the popular group in school, but I wasn't fat or ugly either, but I was smart enough to know that the popular guys were only going to date pretty, popular girls, not the heavy math-geek girl that was crushing on him. Not to mention she was like 6 inches taller than he was. I really don't get where some girls get the idea they can date the most handsome, popular guy in school. You'd think they'd understand the rules of dating. And guys do it too. Some nerdy god-awful geek of a boy would get a crush on me and actually send me a note to ask me to go with him. I'm thinking, "What in the world is he thinking? This guy has like 3 teeth missing, he looks inbred, he's in the "special" classes, and he's asking me out? That guy has got some BALLS!" People, stick with people who are in your "class" - you know, if you're in the band, date other band people. If you're a redneck, date rednecks (or change your image). If you're a cheerleader then take your pick. Otherwise, don't try for the most popular guy in school. When you are out of high school, it will be much different. The guy that was popular will be nobody in the real world (except for being a fat drunk) and you can have him then.

molly · Post by **molly** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 7:23 pm

gee , isn't that a little harsh? Wait, what am i saying - it's true. i don't like it, but it's true. have you ever noticed that in movies, the nerdy girls/guys are always fairly good-looking and end up going out with the jock/cheerleader of their dreams?
i mean, what you said is totally true. so why can't movie directors actually make something a little more true to life, rather than true to fantasy?
I took you advice - gave him 'the look' and said "hi" to go with it... and he did this little smile thing - but then his friend punched him and he ignored me.

but then, guess what guess what guess what??? he rang me and asked me out!!! well, just to Pizza Hut, but its a start, right?

i know, you said that only hot guys go out with hot girls, and only nerds go out with nerds (sorry people, if I'm stero-typing everyone a little too quickly) but I'm not a hideous monster and have kinda cool eyes, and in my kinda-cool-eyes, Jamie is the hottest thing I've seen... the good part about this? no other girls seem to notice his cuteness, so I've not got that much competition.
and he's not really a jock, even if he plays lotsa sports... but i don't care. it's not like I'm a cheerleader anyway.
so guys, thanks for all your incredible advice and... well, thanks for putting up with me. (that must of been hard!)

Post by **Starwitch** » Tue Oct 05, 2004 10:04 pm

Sounds like you have a pretty good chance with him if he asked you out. That's great Molly. I'm glad you make your subtle move on him and let him know you were interested. That's all guys really need and then they can make the next move if they are into you, and he did! Terrific.

And he called you even though his friend punched him, which is an indication that his friend probably thinks they are better than you (more popular or whatever) and he probably told the guy that, but he called you ANYWAY, which shows that he's got balls and a mind of his own (thank god!). Be careful though, it seems cool and he might really like you, OR he might have made a bet with his friend that he could screw you. So don't screw him. Guys really do stuff like that.

Post by Marie* » Wed Oct 06, 2004 5:12 pm

Well I am glad that he asked you out and ignore hos friend. Hopefully things work out fo ryou. However, you are young and there are many many fish in this huge sea.

Marie