HELP! plz =]
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Phoenix_Rose
HELP! plz =]
Ok, Soo I have this problem. 90% of the people in my family, including my own father, are very heavy Christians. The fact that they are christian though isn't exactly the problem. The problem is I'm Bi, and Wiccan. which completely goes against their beliefs. Now my dad is a very... violent person, if you catch my drift. And every one else in my family is just plain insane [[lol]] and no one would be hapy if they found ot about me, and I'm afraid to tell them. But at the same time, Im sick of having to hide in my closet and pretend Im ok with everything they say about anyone and anything taht is remotely different. So how do I [[safely]] tell them that I'm Bi and Wiccan?
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Moon_Stone
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Merry Meet, Phoenix_Rose,
That is definitely a tough decision, and a very personal experience for everyone, individually. In all honesty, it comes down to what you want to do. If your father is a violent person but you feel you can trust your mother, perhaps start by talking it through with her?
Though, if you think she may just tell your father anyhow and he's inclined to hurt you physically and emotionally thereafter, depending upon your age, (if you're nearing the time that you had planned to move out and move on with your life), you may want to just wait until then... specifically because of your father's violence. There is no reason to put yourself in a position where he'd cause you physical harm- granted, you shouldn't have to be worried about that ever... but sadly, you are. Sometimes it's a matter of self-preservation- and if you see irreparable harm waiting for you in the wings as soon as you open up to Dad, consider that movement carefully before you make it.
Some parents will just laugh it off and call it a phase (this happens more often with Bisexual individuals,) so you can always hope for the best... but with what you've described, it seems like harm may be the very first thing to come your way.
I'm not saying you should deny who you are... I am just suggesting caution, if you know you're already working with a time bomb.
Brightest blessings to you~ I hope all works out well.
If ever you need to talk, we're here. And I for one applaud you for taking this step! :28:
*MoonStone
That is definitely a tough decision, and a very personal experience for everyone, individually. In all honesty, it comes down to what you want to do. If your father is a violent person but you feel you can trust your mother, perhaps start by talking it through with her?
Though, if you think she may just tell your father anyhow and he's inclined to hurt you physically and emotionally thereafter, depending upon your age, (if you're nearing the time that you had planned to move out and move on with your life), you may want to just wait until then... specifically because of your father's violence. There is no reason to put yourself in a position where he'd cause you physical harm- granted, you shouldn't have to be worried about that ever... but sadly, you are. Sometimes it's a matter of self-preservation- and if you see irreparable harm waiting for you in the wings as soon as you open up to Dad, consider that movement carefully before you make it.
Some parents will just laugh it off and call it a phase (this happens more often with Bisexual individuals,) so you can always hope for the best... but with what you've described, it seems like harm may be the very first thing to come your way.
I'm not saying you should deny who you are... I am just suggesting caution, if you know you're already working with a time bomb.
Brightest blessings to you~ I hope all works out well.
If ever you need to talk, we're here. And I for one applaud you for taking this step! :28:
*MoonStone
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Moon_Stone
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Oh, so far as the Wiccan thing, I'd actually suggest dumping it all on them at once... really. Once it's time for all to come out, just rip it off like a band aid. Bisexual and Wiccan. Yep. 
...
Keep this in mind too: if your family ultimately decides to shun you and push you away, as you might fear they would-- you can at least know that in such an occurrence, you are now actually the lucky one... to be free of people like that who clearly have sooo much growing left to do, you are free to blossom and fly. :28:
~BB~
*M
...
Keep this in mind too: if your family ultimately decides to shun you and push you away, as you might fear they would-- you can at least know that in such an occurrence, you are now actually the lucky one... to be free of people like that who clearly have sooo much growing left to do, you are free to blossom and fly. :28:
~BB~
*M
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Greymalkin
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I came out at 19 as both gay and a witch. I just dumped it on my family all in one go and dealt with the fall-out afterwards.
My family have never been particularly religious so they weren't all that bad actually.
My mother was more upset when she saw me smoking once. Even though I was 28 at the time she shouted at me all the way home, LOL!
My family have never been particularly religious so they weren't all that bad actually.
My mother was more upset when she saw me smoking once. Even though I was 28 at the time she shouted at me all the way home, LOL!
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sheelanagig
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I can never understand a Christian who is violent.
Does not their religion abhor and condem violence of any kind?
Don't they practice peace and love, as their religion preaches?
Why can they not be like their saviour and learn to forgive and turn the other cheek?
These are some of the reasons I left my christian faith many many years ago.
sigh......
maybe one day we will co-exist in peace with each other and all the other lifeforms on this beautiful planet we call home.
Does not their religion abhor and condem violence of any kind?
Don't they practice peace and love, as their religion preaches?
Why can they not be like their saviour and learn to forgive and turn the other cheek?
These are some of the reasons I left my christian faith many many years ago.
sigh......
maybe one day we will co-exist in peace with each other and all the other lifeforms on this beautiful planet we call home.
Matthew: "Do not think that I came to send peace upon earth: I came not to send peace, but the sword." -These words are attributed to Jesus.
Here: http://www.drbo.org/index.htm
Now, it doesn't sound to me that it's safe for you to reveal yourself. But in the end, do what you think is right. Take care!
Here: http://www.drbo.org/index.htm
Now, it doesn't sound to me that it's safe for you to reveal yourself. But in the end, do what you think is right. Take care!
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Chaos Shaman
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WolfWitch
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Re: HELP! plz =]
I hate to say it but for the time being, DON'T.Phoenix_Rose wrote:Ok, Soo I have this problem. 90% of the people in my family, including my own father, are very heavy Christians. The fact that they are christian though isn't exactly the problem. The problem is I'm Bi, and Wiccan. which completely goes against their beliefs. Now my dad is a very... violent person, if you catch my drift. And every one else in my family is just plain insane [[lol]] and no one would be hapy if they found ot about me, and I'm afraid to tell them. But at the same time, Im sick of having to hide in my closet and pretend Im ok with everything they say about anyone and anything taht is remotely different. So how do I [[safely]] tell them that I'm Bi and Wiccan?
When you have left their house and have your own place, far and safe away, then tell them. I've seen the "violent" you mention. It isn't safe when someone has a moral justification to hurt. Make sure that you have taken precautions when you do just in case he/they decide to come over and "save" you from yourself. An escape route, friends house, big burly friends, hell law enforcement if you think it's necessary. But definitely wait until you can be in your own place and SAFE!
Phoenix, I know what your going through. I'm Wiccan, Bi AND in the Military. It's so hard to keep your true heart hidden away, especially from the ones you really love, but think about what would happen and be honest about it with yourself. Scroll down the GLBT list and read my story. Believe me, I know.
If you need to talk with anyone, just get a hold of most here, we'll all gladly help you.
Blessed Be sister sweet. And may Vervandi and Urdu watch over you.
WW.
The greatest advice I was ever given: It matters not what you believe. Only that you believe it wholeheartedly.
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Phoenix_Rose
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purplesummer
I agree with Wolfwitch. Do not come out right now to your parents. If you think you absolutely must tell them now, make sure you have a place to go if things get violent. Make sure you have a friend you can stay with.
Wait until you are on your own and can support yourself financially. It sucks having to hide who you are. However you are worried you could get hurt because of your fathers violence. If you are worried about that, it is best not to come out. Wait until you can leave so you wont have to worry about that. It is better to stay in the closet and be safe than be out and scared for your life.
Wait until you are on your own and can support yourself financially. It sucks having to hide who you are. However you are worried you could get hurt because of your fathers violence. If you are worried about that, it is best not to come out. Wait until you can leave so you wont have to worry about that. It is better to stay in the closet and be safe than be out and scared for your life.