i feel dead inside for a while now

[ravenpaw]

lately its been realy bad.. i feel dead inside.. sure i can make everyoen think i am ok.. but in truth i feel dead.. like nothign matteres anymore.. its not rite.. its liek my life hasd no meaning anymore.. i just graduated high schoola year early .. why cant i smile.. i feel like he ( the demon that was bugging me for 2 years but i lost the feelings from him ) did this to me.. or i am just going crazy ..

[_Kaimira_]

hi sweety

i know how you feel. trust me. the feeling dead in side is a monster called depression it can eat everything you love to hold dear. i think you need to see a doctor and tell about those feellings. that's what i did and now i am balanced. i also do work on my depression using breatheing and meditation.

i wanted to say your not crazy just your system is in shock.

[ravenpaw]

i went to a doctor..well doctors.. they put me on pills that made me gaine alot of weight and now i try and try to work it off and it dont work, the pills didnt help and i stayed on them for a year i stopped taking them after that, and the other doctor , the head doc says i am fine just going through teenage stuff, but that snot true.. i already delt with that stuff.. but i feel dead now.. i dont like it.. i cant remeber the last tiem i smiled and ment it

[ViVi]

You had to stay on those pills for a year? And they made you gain weight? What on earth have they put you on. I was put on Prozac for four months and it had no adverse effects after the first week. Maybe you should tell your doctor the drugs just aren't working. Also, you say you stopped taking them - did you just STOP one day and never take one again? If so that won't have helped you. You're supposed to come off slowly or it'll shock your system and make it more likely that depression will come back. I think this needs a trip to your Dr and you need to insist that you need more pills of a different kind because you're still having symptoms. If HE says "It's just teenage stuff" you need to think about switching doctors, because he sounds terrible.

EDIT:: Just realised some people won't like my tone and think I'm drug-reliant only... that's not it, I don't think she needs the pills to live or anything. I see depression as being like an infection or something - you take the antibiotics, it goes away. To me it's nothing but a chemical imbalance that needs fixing.

[ravenpaw]

oh i swtitched docs twice, they know the pills dont work they jsut dont knwo what else is wrong so they dont realy do anythign new, and no i took them every other day then once a week then i stopped , i know better then just stopping lol.. and plus i dont wana go back to the docs.. they are a waste of my parents hard earned mony and they dont have it rite now... the onely tiem i feel better is when my cat is around

[ViVi]

Oh poo yeah I tend to forget not everywhere has NHS. The cat thing makes sense, I read somewhere that pets are proven to relax people. Something to do with waves or some rubbish, I don't know. Doesn't matter really, as long as it works ^^ I think this is something you'll need to figure out on your own, but you shouldn't rule out trying a new doctor.

[ravenpaw]

ehh idk docs are sorta.. well.. they think they knwo eevrything , it is rather annoying really.. but yah my cat ran off i havent seen him today yet.. but ill try to ignore the bad feelings and try to move on idk how well it will work but hey im used to it i suppose , maybe this tiem it will work

[mist]

Have you tried Reiki or working with Spirit to balance you? Someone can cleanse your chakras and aura. It really helps a lot.

[ravenpaw]

i know no one around here that can do that

[_Kaimira_]

i went to a doctor..well doctors.. they put me on pills that made me gaine alot of weight and now i try and try to work it off and it dont work, the pills didnt help and i stayed on them for a year i stopped taking them after that, and the other doctor , the head doc says i am fine just going through teenage stuff, but that snot true.. i already delt with that stuff.. but i feel dead now.. i dont like it.. i cant remeber the last tiem i smiled and ment it

hi sweety.

just be careful going off of meds can have a nasty effect. i have a cocktail of meds and lithum is one of them. yes i am bipolar. i gained a lot of weight too mostly it's baby fat i hope it's hard to tell when your pregnant.

[ravenpaw]

i think my kitty knows i upset, he been a real mamas boy lately.. and they have ypu on meds when ypur preg? isnt that bad

[Serenity Willow]

HI R. I had been on antidepressants for many years. It's amazing how my head cleared up when I stopped taking them,(advice of doctor and slowly) I could think clearly. BUT, I had no idea how to deal with all the emotions I was feeling, including 6 years of emotional and sexual abuse from my x. I was numb the entire time, so nothing was dealt with, it was just like being in a fog.

After I had a collapse two years after being off all pills, I didn't smoke or drink much, (I didn't like the fuzzy out of control feeling from booze)....CLEAN if you will. I had no idea how to deal with the depression, the anxiety, the self hatred, shame and anger. I didn't really know that what I was feeling cause it was just all bad and just me. I went to psychologists, read self help books, and pills from my trusted doctors. Not one of them ever said...why don't you look into a 12 step program because you have just become CLEAN but not SOBER.

I didn't know how to live life or make decisions I was proud of, I didn't know boundaries, I didn't know anything about feeling good on my own.... I didn't drink much or smoke, but that's not the point. I was medicated so I didn't have to deal with any of my feelings. "Feel bad about something you did or someone caused you great pain, then up the dosage of these trusted pills.

I am not telling anyone not to take their medication, all I'm saying is MY story. I would never ever have believed anyone if they said my life would get better (amazingly in fact), if I quit the pills and actually worked a program to heal my physical, emotional and spirtual self. First thing I had to do was admit that I was powerless and only a Higher Power could restore my life to sanity.

My life still has crap happening but today I love who I am (most of the time) and I know my Higher Power can make my life better, if I give my stresses and worries over and live One Day at a Time.

Absolutely do not stop prescription meds without the advice of a doctor and if you start to feel suicidal tell a doctor immidiately, sometimes just the wrong pills can make a person think suicidal thoughts when none were present at the start. It's really important not to feel embarrassed about sharing your depression or suicidal thoughts with professionals.

I hope you find serenity...and the kitty <3