how much of an ass is my ex..

heidine · Post by **heidine** » Sun Apr 09, 2006 11:55 am

Just found out that my ex boyfriend, and a good friend of mine is messing around.. and, the really fun part.. everybody seems to know about it, but nobody want to tell me.... and we just broke up a few month ago!
(I heard from a good friend of mine, but she told me not to tell anybody that i know, cause she wasnt supposed to tell me...)
so.. how much of an ass is my friend.. and my ex..? and almost all of my friends, since none of them have the decency to tell me....?

Post by **[aphrodite]** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:31 am

Been there, done that, and yes got the T-shirt, friends like that are just pathetic and should not be called friends at all. Feel for you hun, all you can do now is try to move on.

blessed be
APHRODITE
XXX

heidine · Post by **heidine** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 1:55 pm

thanks

Post by **Elem** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 6:13 am

My friends have got themselves into a similar situation.

Boy, C, goes out with girl, J

Girl, N, splits up with boyfriend, M

Boy, C, sees his opportunity and splits up with girl, J

Boy, C, confesses his undying love for girl, N, who is best friends with girl, J....

Fortunately though, N doesn't like C.. Although best friend J is still unaware of it all, and C won't give up - continuing to confess his undying and true love for N every day (much to her annoyance).

You wouldn't believe me if I told you how old they all are

. It sounds like something that'd happen in high school!.. And I'm stuck in the middle, good friends with all three.

Hope you're feeling okay, I can only imagine what it must be like for this to happen

.

Elem

heidine · Post by **heidine** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 7:35 am

I know! it really sounds like a typical high school drama! But in my case my ex isnt even in love with her, they are just f*ck friends.. I mean, as my friend (or should i say ex-friend..), shouldnt you be able to find a guy that is not my ex' if your just interested in sex?
But, as it turns out.. she has been f*cking the whole male population in this city, so I guess he was the only one left to do... I still cant belive how everybody thinks she is just a nice girl... I guess she's good at keeping her lovers a secret..i was her friend and i didnt even know that she was f*cking my ex the first two months...

Post by **Hera#76** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 8:39 am

I know it is tough, I have been through similar, however the best thing for you to do is move on and leave them all behind to sort themselves out. If you stay dwelling on it hten you are just giving yourself lots of negative energy and stress that you don't need or deserve.

My philosophy, which I have just adopted and am still getting used to is this:

You can be the nicest, kindest, caring etc. person in the world and you will still have things like this happen to you. Rather thantry to get even you need to move one and leave them to sort it out themselves. People are the most strangest, unpredictable and weird phenomena this world will ever see. You just try to remain positive and focus on the good things in your life. You did nothing wrong, it is not something you deserved. Humans are not infallible and some do not live to the same moral codes as others so you just got to accept it and walk away. You can't change people or their behaviours.

Sorry am ranting now. What I am trying to say is I know how it hurts, and how disappointed you are in them, but you mustn't keep dwelling on it or it will have a negative and damaging effect on you. More so than you think it already has.

heidine · Post by **heidine** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 9:00 am

I think you are right! The best think is to walk away from it.
I really liked your "Bubbles float because they are light and happy; don't let life wear you down!"
Thats so true

You just have to deal with whatever comes your way and try to look at the bright side

Post by **Addalaide** » Tue May 23, 2006 5:42 pm

Well my ex is more than an ass, he got online one night and told me he made out with his friend...his guy friend....so i broke up with him very fast. Maby we could have worked it out if it was a girl....but i mean a guy? eww. Dont get me wrong i love gay people there so fun to be with but yeah when he told me he made out with a guy....just eww..and that is my ass of an ex...

~Addalaide

heidine · Post by **heidine** » Wed May 24, 2006 11:13 am

wow... That sounds bad! It cant be fun to be with someone thats bi and cheating on you.. i mean.. not only do you have to worry about other girls.. you have to worry about him making out with boys too.. im so sorry for you! but, you will find somebody better that can make you happy! And you deserve something better than a boyfriend that makes out with his friends!

Post by **Addalaide** » Wed May 24, 2006 3:21 pm

Well know i am engaged, and very happy to have gotten reid of my ex...

Post by **Kristofski** » Wed May 24, 2006 5:59 pm

heidine wrote: i mean.. not only do you have to worry about other girls.. you have to worry about him making out with boys too..

I'm sorry, I have to say something here. Why do people think that just because someone's bi it means they're more likely to cheat? Just because someone is attracted to males and females it doesn't mean they're more likely to screw around, and if someone is going to screw around then they will regardless of how many genders they're attracted to.
Personally I am attracted to people regardless of their gender; I don't cinsider myself bisexual because I don't like gender binaries like that. However I am with my girlfriend and I love her, and I don't want to be with anyone else at the moment. I find it very offencive that people would think I'm more likely to be unfaithful or be more untrustworthy because I'm attracted to more than one gender.
I need to sleep.
kristofski x

Post by **Addalaide** » Wed May 24, 2006 6:33 pm

I dont belive thay are more likly to cheat on people i have many friends that are bisexual and are more faithful to there partnere than some of the strait people i know. I was just somewhat pissed he cheated on me.

But i belive in a "wripal effect" if i hadnt of dated him i whould still be an uptight little christion girl who whould have never even meet my future husband because of how i meet him. So i am happy i dated him just discusted at how it ended.

~Addalaide

Post by **Kristofski** » Wed May 24, 2006 7:57 pm

I just find it very bizare how people seem to find it so much worse if someone has been unfaithful with someone of the same gender. Surely whoever they're unfaithful with, it's just as bad. Though I guess I do have a slightly different attitude to this sort of thing than most people.
Kristofski x

heidine · Post by **heidine** » Thu May 25, 2006 11:31 am

Kristofski wrote:
I'm sorry, I have to say something here. Why do people think that just because someone's bi it means they're more likely to cheat? ..

i was thinking more in the lines of once a cheater, always a c...

PorcObby · Post by **PorcObby** » Sat May 27, 2006 12:02 pm

Kristofski wrote:
I'm sorry, I have to say something here. Why do people think that just because someone's bi it means they're more likely to cheat?
kristofski x

Fear. However irrational it may seem, it's completely human. Someone who fears looseing someone they care about seeks to keep that person from anything they see as a temptation to leave them. In a hetrosexual relationship, you'd seek to keep your partner away from the girl who you think is prettier than you, or keep her away from that strait guy she's friends with. In that situation, in a manor of speaking, you know who your up against, you have a basis for comparisson.

In a relationship with someone who is bisexual, you only have half of an idea who they are attracted to. There is a whole group of people who you can't fathom their attraction to. Speaking from experience with a relationship with a bisexual person. You rarely if ever agree on who is attractive within said sex. You immedately suspect everyone, wich leads to paranoia. Your inability to see your partners attraction to said person, starts to seem like something they are hideing from you, and once you belive said person is hideing or even lying to you, you lose trust and the relationship falls apart.

The solution is communication. You discuss what your comfortable with, and what you arn't comfortable with. So that both you and your partner have a better understanding of each other. If that causes a breackup, thenit was going to happen sooner or later anyways. But if it doesn't it ussually leads to a very strong relationship.

The problem is, many people don't use communication and give in to fear. People have a natural tendency to fear, fear itself, and often will just aviod the possability of fear and loss, by forming a sterotype.

Unfortuneatly sterotypes tend to spred like the cold, so many people are ignorantly exposed to the idea that bisexual people will cheat more.