ok so my dad has multiple schlorosis and is in a wheelchair. so we've had many different people come to try to help him. well we finally got this one and she is aswome. well call her "patty".
my dad and i currently live with my grandfather. and the man is never happy unless he's complaning about something. he keeps making sexual comments to "patty" like today for instance she went to the store and got some stuff buy one get one free and made a comment about that. and my grandpa was like "oh yeah thats what you are, free." she keeps telling me how he keeps grabbing her boobs and i guess he grabed her crotch and stuff and we'll go outside for a cig and he'll come out and invade our privacy and evasdrop. shes getting fed up with it.
but she is such a cool, giving person and what he is doing to her is sexual abuse. she's there to help my dad and me, not to be his whore.
a long time ago he attacked my mom because he wanted my dad to have custody of me when i was litttle or something. he's the kind of guy you do not want to piss off. he's got a bad temper and when he gets pissed he's been known to get violent, like what he did to my mom.
he's never touched me, but he verbaly treats me and my dad like crap. you cant please the man.
i've seen him hit my dad once, but gods know what goes on when im not there.
how do i protect me, my dad and "patty" from this man that is my grandfather? i cant do much since we're living with him. and i dont want to involve the cops or anything. i just want him to back off of "patty" and leave her alone and to be nicer to me and my dad.
any advice? i always have a switchblade in my pocket and i sleep with one by my bed, cuz i just dont know what he'll do... ever since he saw my blade he's backed off a little on me but still. "patty" is about to go get a thing of mace and i asked her to get me one as well. i just dont know what to do here.
home issues? not sure what to call this...
home issues? not sure what to call this...
peace and love and blessed be
~ * ~ stormer ~ * ~
~ * ~ stormer ~ * ~
Hi stormer,
I read in one of your other posts that you're planning to move. I hope
this is possible for you and your plan goes through. If not, in short, I
advise to make it your plan again.
This kind of person, sad as it is, likely won't change; not in this lifetime. I
have no idea why people become this callous. I can only imagine that
inside, they must be under the influence of tremendous pain and fear.
Honestly though, and I couldn't claim to know for sure, sometimes I think
certain people don't even bother trying.
Move out. Leave and never come back. Financial security and shelter,
even life sustaining financial security and shelter isn't worth living in that
kind of abusive environment. There are things *much* worse than
poverty.
Okay, I've said my piece. As for something that will get him to stop, I
honestly don't think anything will work. If you stand up to him, you're
threatening what little power he has. On the other hand, strange as it
sounds, it's very unlikely that he'll throw you out permanently. If he
throws you out, he'll invite you to come back. Think about it, what will he
do with his time without someone to torture (and to help him forget his
own inner loneliness)? Also, if he throws you out into the cold, how could
he give up the opportunity to play great benefactor by inviting you back
and increasing your false indebtedness to him. You need to leave on your
own.
I hope things work out for you, I really do. Don't give up hope, try to
keep moving forwards. My best wishes go with you.
T. Guy
I read in one of your other posts that you're planning to move. I hope
this is possible for you and your plan goes through. If not, in short, I
advise to make it your plan again.
This kind of person, sad as it is, likely won't change; not in this lifetime. I
have no idea why people become this callous. I can only imagine that
inside, they must be under the influence of tremendous pain and fear.
Honestly though, and I couldn't claim to know for sure, sometimes I think
certain people don't even bother trying.
Move out. Leave and never come back. Financial security and shelter,
even life sustaining financial security and shelter isn't worth living in that
kind of abusive environment. There are things *much* worse than
poverty.
Okay, I've said my piece. As for something that will get him to stop, I
honestly don't think anything will work. If you stand up to him, you're
threatening what little power he has. On the other hand, strange as it
sounds, it's very unlikely that he'll throw you out permanently. If he
throws you out, he'll invite you to come back. Think about it, what will he
do with his time without someone to torture (and to help him forget his
own inner loneliness)? Also, if he throws you out into the cold, how could
he give up the opportunity to play great benefactor by inviting you back
and increasing your false indebtedness to him. You need to leave on your
own.
I hope things work out for you, I really do. Don't give up hope, try to
keep moving forwards. My best wishes go with you.
T. Guy
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Makbawehuh
- Banned Member
- Posts: 259
- Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:26 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Western U.S.
Wait just a minute, T. Guy...
Who's house is this? Because if it's yours, evict the bastard and tell him why. The police will be happy to do a standby while he gets his crap.
Otherwise, yeah... Get the hell out of dodge.
Who's house is this? Because if it's yours, evict the bastard and tell him why. The police will be happy to do a standby while he gets his crap.
Otherwise, yeah... Get the hell out of dodge.
~St. Makupuff the Awesome~
"The human race will begin solving it's problems on the day that it ceases taking itself so seriously." – Malaclypse the Younger
The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in it.
Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't.
-Holy Book of Truth; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1 (Principia Discordia)
"The human race will begin solving it's problems on the day that it ceases taking itself so seriously." – Malaclypse the Younger
The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in it.
Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't.
-Holy Book of Truth; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1 (Principia Discordia)
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Kolohe Redux
- Banned Member
- Posts: 70
- Joined: Sun Mar 23, 2008 8:53 pm
You do need to get out if you're sleeping with a knife and he's hitting your disabled dad. Talk to law enforcement, they can't do much if you don't want to press charges, but you can make sure they're aware of the situation and athey can at least give advice. Talk to adult protective services, they can set you up with a social worker who can help with financial issues or whatever if that's part of the reason you're with him.
For your home care worker, she will encounter the occasional dirty old man in that profession so pepper spray or mace is an excellent idea for the worst case scenario. She shouldn't be nice, smile or act like it's a joke and laugh it off if there's rude comments or touching, better to be stern and say that's not appropriate. She doesn't have to be nasty or confrontational with him, but if she lets it go it will only escalate.
Good luck I really do think you need to get out of there.
Kolohe
For your home care worker, she will encounter the occasional dirty old man in that profession so pepper spray or mace is an excellent idea for the worst case scenario. She shouldn't be nice, smile or act like it's a joke and laugh it off if there's rude comments or touching, better to be stern and say that's not appropriate. She doesn't have to be nasty or confrontational with him, but if she lets it go it will only escalate.
Good luck I really do think you need to get out of there.
Kolohe
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Wolf Heart
- Posts: 384
- Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2006 12:11 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Iowa
- Contact:
I would most deffinetly move out of there. That is not a safe place to be, especially given that you sleep with a knife.
No person should have to live in a place like that, especially with a father who needs so much care. I think you are a wonderful person for being so concerned about not only yourself but your father and "patty".
The only advice I can give would be exactly what the others have said. I do truely hope things get better for you. I will send some energy your way.
Wolf Heart
No person should have to live in a place like that, especially with a father who needs so much care. I think you are a wonderful person for being so concerned about not only yourself but your father and "patty".
The only advice I can give would be exactly what the others have said. I do truely hope things get better for you. I will send some energy your way.
Wolf Heart
~*People fear the beast within the wolf because they do not understand the beast within themselves.*~
makbawehuh - it is his house.
as he puts it " he paid the morgage and he bought the house "
but yeah we're still trying to get out.
we applied to a place thats goverment housing, but anywhere seems better than there. today he was complaning about me wearing my hat at the kitchen table. see the pointless shit he says? i went off on him though and put him in his place about it.
and as far as i've seen, he's only hit my dad once but as i said, i dont know what goes on there when im not home.
when we move he is NOT getting a key to the place. the only ones with a key will be me and "patty" and my dad. oh and today he as good as admitted to lookin at her ass and shit. it's crap. i really hope we can move soon.
until then i'm just trying to stay out of the house as much as possible. i feel bad that my dad cant escape like i can.
but if anyone knows anything that could temporarly protect us until we move, it would be helpful. thanks guys.
blessed be.
as he puts it " he paid the morgage and he bought the house "
but yeah we're still trying to get out.
we applied to a place thats goverment housing, but anywhere seems better than there. today he was complaning about me wearing my hat at the kitchen table. see the pointless shit he says? i went off on him though and put him in his place about it.
and as far as i've seen, he's only hit my dad once but as i said, i dont know what goes on there when im not home.
when we move he is NOT getting a key to the place. the only ones with a key will be me and "patty" and my dad. oh and today he as good as admitted to lookin at her ass and shit. it's crap. i really hope we can move soon.
until then i'm just trying to stay out of the house as much as possible. i feel bad that my dad cant escape like i can.
but if anyone knows anything that could temporarly protect us until we move, it would be helpful. thanks guys.
blessed be.
peace and love and blessed be
~ * ~ stormer ~ * ~
~ * ~ stormer ~ * ~
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[AmberRose13]
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- Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2008 10:05 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: vermont
- Contact:
take a smooth piece of wood,(I often use a part of a popcicle stick...) something that'll fit in your pocket. Bless it, and carve a rune or symbol that represents safety for you. Make one for you, your dad, and if she'll take it, "patty".
- Amberrose
- Amberrose
"Sometimes the measure of friendship isn't your ability to not harm but your capacity to forgive the things done to you and ask forgiveness for your own mistakes."
- R.K. Milholland
- R.K. Milholland
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wiccachicken
- Banned Member
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- Gender: Female
Yeah I agree with all the above, but also if you have the time, cast a protection spell on the people you want to protect.
I would light a candle and visualise a constant blue light around them...there to protect them. Blue light often represents healing and protection. You could even ask your deities to give it an extra boost.
Take care....I hope it all works out! xx
I would light a candle and visualise a constant blue light around them...there to protect them. Blue light often represents healing and protection. You could even ask your deities to give it an extra boost.
Take care....I hope it all works out! xx