What?

Post by **JacklynSnyder1o1** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:16 pm

Okay, there's this guy that I like.
Well, it's stronger than like.
I could call it love but for some reason I have a problem saying it.
I love him. It's just hard to say.
But anyway.
Whenever I talk to him sometimes there's these times when he says something and then my heart just hurts and it's hard to breathe. It sometimes spreads through my body ending at my knees.
I don't understand why this happens.
He told me he loved me 3 days ago. When he told me that I couldn't even move and it was really really hard to breathe.
Does anyone have an idea why this happens.
I've thought it through lots of times but whenever I think about him it happens again.
I don't know why it's hard for me to say I love you either.
I can't even say it to my friends who I care about more than anything...
Questions, comments, concerns?
*Jacklyn

Post by **SugarCharmz** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:04 am

"Love" is a pretty taboo word that people who are really SERIOUS have a hard time saying. I wasn't able to say it to my boyfriend until he said it first, and I was so shaky that I could hardly get it out. It's all normal! You're nervous, we've ALL felt the same way you feel when you're around 'him'.

Heck, i still get shaky even around my ex, and even worse when he speaks to me because I still try to impress him, see.

What to do about it? Try being around him casually and practice breathing. Like if you're in a movie theater together, or in a class that you already know well and don't need to pay much attention to, or at lunch or something. This'll help you loosen up around him. That's what I did around my boyfriend, and it helped a lot.

Just try to let the tension leave your body. It'll get better as you get used to him!

Why you're feeling it? It's chemicals and hormones in your brain that are acting up and telling you that you want the dude, and then there's the little left shoulder-angel that says "If you mess this up, he'll leeeeave you!" You are probably just too hard on yourself. Try the breathing thing i said, it should help out. Also, when you're alone, try to pin-point what it is that is making you nervous and try to overcome it. If you ever have a question, feel free to PM me, I'll try to help out.

Post by **oracle's child** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 1:27 am

you give good advice SugarCharmz. your such a nice person.

Post by **JacklynSnyder1o1** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 9:08 am

Thanks for the advice Angi!
I will try that!
You do give good advice. ^_^

Post by **SugarCharmz** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 3:01 pm

Awwww... Thanks.

I'll be happy to help anytime!

:D:D:D:D:D

Post by **AkanaAnash** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:30 am

Who was chiding me for not believing in love? I forget.

Is the above description what people call love?

(I'm not making light of the situation, o.p....I'm actually asking a sincere question)

Post by **oracle's child** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:47 am

you know, all i can say is when you feel it you'll know it and you won't be asking, "is that it?". tsk,tsk,tsk.....mr.A.............

Post by **AkanaAnash** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:51 am

No, no...I'm asking if this is what other's would consider love...

Post by **oracle's child** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 1:43 am

oooh. never mind.

Post by **JacklynSnyder1o1** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:21 am

Would I consider it love?
Yes, I would.
That's what it is to me.
It's the only way I can explain why I feel the way I do about him. (Sparing the details to keep this un-corny)
I used to fricken hate love (lol, hate. love.) and I tried to think of some other reason but I couldn't.
I dunno, I'm stupid or something.

Post by **AkanaAnash** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 9:57 pm

Ahhh.

See I'm more interested in what others would consider love as observing human psychology as it applies to behavior is an interest of mine.

Sorry, don't want to come off sounding stuffy...I'm just wondering if the others who posted here would consider commenting on my question.

Thet

Post by **oracle's child** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:24 am

when i love someone, if it came to it, i would die for them. if they needed an organ or blood i wouldn't have to think about it, it's theirs. i want the best for them no matter what, even above my own selfishness. if it meant that they would be better off without me, i would release them (when i was 19 i had a baby and gave him up for adoption. i couldn't possibly find the words to express this kind of pain. and yet, because i loved him so much, i did what was best at the time). i'm not just addressing love for a child though. being able to let go of someone who was literally a part of me has taught me that i am capable of putting someone before myself. that it's not all about me and how i feel. well i hope that makes sense. i sometimes have a hard time finding the right words to express what i want to say. sometimes there are no words.

Post by **AkanaAnash** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 8:02 am

Hey Oracle,

I'm sorry, I didn't mean for anyone to be slashing their own internal dictionaries for an answer....iow, I'm sorry that happened to you, but I certainly wasn't trying to anyone to spill their guts about luv.

You did the Just thing, by the way. It was absolutely the decision for the benefit of your child. I'm sure the Isis smiles upon you.

...........

I was just talking about peoples opinions about luv...like...if you believe in "Love" then, could you describe it for me?

I'm actually interested, because it's something in which I don't believe, so it's sort of fascinating to me, like asking someone to describe "God"
or "Aliens"

It's not mocking, I assure you, it's like a person of a completely different context asking another "what it's like for them" because they know they'll never be able to part of that race, sex, or situation...if you understand me.

Like..."huh? Wow...that's something I can never be...and wouldn't want to...because I like what I am...but could you describe it for me?"

(tried really hard not to be offensive with this one)

Post by **oracle's child** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 5:28 pm

(gasp!) well! that will be the last time i bare my soul. chuckle. i guess i got too serious.

Post by **SugarCharmz** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 6:13 pm

Love, to me, is a feeling of deep connection with somebody. It's where you don't just look at the person's eyes, but you can see into them, to the person within their bodily shell. It's a lot like Oracle's Child said, the ability to put down your own selfishness for the benefit of the other is major. It's really hard to let somebody that you care deeply about and wish to spend your life with leave you, and possibly never see you again. It's the ability to accept a person's wrongs, but still care for them

Love, to me, is a spiritual unison of two souls, Infatuation (which is what a lot of people confuse with love) is the desire to be around another, Attachment (another thing confused with love) is the inability to function without the other person around. Lust (also confused with love), is.. well, it speaks for itself. Love, like "I LOVE your car!" is more about a deep fondness for that object. Of course, lots of people use the word sarcastically all the time. Just like when somebody says, "Oh Gods.." you're not really praying are you? If you are that's awesome, but I'm sure you've said something like that but weren't really trying to send a message to the Gods/Goddesses.

Not everything that's real is explainable. It probably sounds stupid, but.. ehh.. oh well.

It's kind of like how one person can be moved by a painting or a song. Maybe the song or painting has a powerful message in it, but not everybody would be able to see it like you do. How does the message affect them and why? We may never find out. It's the same with love. We may not know HOW it works, we just know that it does, and it works differently for everybody.

Just my opinion on what love is.

And Oracle, that was brave of you to say out on the 'net. I applaud you. I'm sure you're kid is outside playing on the swings right now, safe, and happy.

And it's ok, I have a hard time finding the right words to describe my ideas too. Sometimes it's just hard to explain, lol.