should i tell my mom?

DarkAngelWingz · Post by **DarkAngelWingz** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 11:41 am

I have been Bi for a couple of years now and i don't want to tell my mom in fear of what she would say. Should i tell her or keep it a secret?

ennister · Post by **ennister** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 4:11 pm

I put yes on your poll, because I think coming out can be a relieve...

however I don't know your mother or your family, so in truth I cannot give any advice or opinion on this. Reaction vary accross the board and if you are from a religious christian family than it might be better to wait until you are independent and out of the house... While if they are fairly liberal, it be good to do it now.

Whatever the initial reaction, the long term reaction is far more important.

Many parents will reacted shocked, suprised, negative at first... don't hold it against them and don't let it frighten you to come out! What matters is how they learn to deal with it (or not), some parents might be negative as a first reaction but walk in the gay pride after a year... sometimes they just don't know and need to learn ^^

DarkAngelWingz · Post by **DarkAngelWingz** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 6:57 am

well my family and i are mormon so i think i will wait

spinney · Post by **spinney** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:29 am

I think if you are going to be in a serious relationship with someone of your own sex and it wil affect your family life then yes.

But if you are single and enjoying yourself then no. What good do you think it would do, how do you think it would help your mum?

DarkAngelWingz · Post by **DarkAngelWingz** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 1:39 pm

the thing is i was raised mormon and i like the church and it is against the rules of the church so i won't say anything yet

Oakland Earth Dancer · Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:54 pm

I definitely agree with ennister about the topic. Sometimes it is really hard to come out depending on how you're raised and how your family is. It would make things a whole lot easier if your mom knows, but it's completey up to you and how you feel about telling her.

Hope all goes well!

DarkAngelWingz · Post by **DarkAngelWingz** » Tue Sep 30, 2008 7:42 am

thanks for the help

Post by **JBRaven** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:25 am

if you think that being bi is important enough to tell them, do you obsess about telling them? If it consumes any part of your day then yes tell them . Be proud of who you are

Post by **kgwitch** » Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:32 am

To be honest, I really don't think you should make your decision based on the results of a poll. After all you've only told us a little bit about yourself and we know nothing about you mother.
Anyway, I think only you can decide. It should be your choice, not ours?

Bryanna · Post by **Bryanna** » Sun Jan 25, 2009 1:34 pm

Eh. I don't know. It depends on what you know about your mom. For example, I've asked my mom what she would do if I was bi or a lesbian, and she said she would love me just the same. If you know she's accepting of it, then you should tell her. But if you feel (or know) she'd be the type to disown you or be angry with you, then it's best to keep it a secret.

Post by **Moon_Stone** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 8:52 pm

I don't really agree with the idea of respecting the fear of a possibility of being disowned... being who you are is much more important than modifying your internal being so that you're 'accepted'. One of the hardest struggles for GLBT individuals is keeping that part of themselves a secret: it's almost as though by "being in the closet", they are denying themselves the ability to be "themselves" in every way. Part of the GLBT life is unfortunately, not being accepted and welcomed as freely as many others are. It's a life filled with bigotry and often strife for that individual, but it's something they need to experience and do emerge stronger from in the end.

A good piece of advice for anyone: as long as you are traveling in the right direction (and not wishing to break any laws or cause harm, etc.) never change yourself for someone else.... never live in fear.... live your life for you, proudly and fearlessly- no matter what kind of life it is you're after. :28:

I do agree with kgwitch though, basing a decision like this, in part or in whole, on the results of a forum poll is not the best way to go. It's a very personal decision, and should be acted on only when the person is ready.

~Bright Blessings~

Bryanna · Post by **Bryanna** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:42 pm

I know you should never hide who you are, but to save certain relationships, it's necessary sometimes.

I know my grandpa would flip if I was a lesbian and told him. There's really no need for him to know who I'm dating and why anyway. It's like if he found out I was an Atheist, he'd probably blow his top too... so I keep it quiet for relationship's sake. I don't think you should hide it from friends, but when it comes to family and older generations, they tend to not be as open. It's a really hard situation.

lalalalemon · Post by **lalalalemon** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:24 pm

DarkAngel,

I know exactly how you are feeling. I came out to myself as Bi some 5 years ago.... and in the last year as a lesbian. I am out to all my close friends and I have been accepted completely.

However telling my Mum and Dad is a whole other kettle of fish! I want them to know so badly.... because it is who I am and it is going to shape me for the rest of my life. But my main problem is actually telling them, I don't know what to say, how to say it. It is so hard.

My only sibling, my brother knows I am a lesbian, and accepted it and said he felt he already knew. He also said he thinks Mum and Dad will accept me and won't have any issues. I also know that one of my Dad's work collegues is a lesbian with a life partner, and he has absolutely no issues with her. I am their baby girl though.... and I just don't want to hurt them!

I know I have been of no help, but I wanted to share my story and let you know you aren't alone in how you are feeling!

Lemon xx

Post by **Greymalkin** » Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:53 pm

I'm wondering why, if you are a mormon, why you are on a forum such as this.
I'm sure your family would be more upset that you were talking to people like us than they would about your sexuality.

Anyway, back to the point in hand. I'm gay and I have helped many people through their 'coming out' period.

In every single case it was the right thing to do, even if the initial reaction was one of shock or disaproval, it all did work out alright in the end.

Of course, this decision is yours and yours alone, I would suggest you find a few friends who understand and will support you.

By the way, have you seen the movie 'Latter Days'?

Everything Under the Moon

should i tell my mom?

should I tell my mom that i am bi

should i tell my mom?